Biblical Reasons for Divorce?

[Vickilynn]

Shalom Y'all,

I am speaking with a young wife who wants to divorce her husband. She brought up an interesting concept and I wondered how many other Christians shared this view.

The view is that the husband has "broken the marriage covenant" and thus committed "Adultery" by his actions, although the wife admits the husband has NEVER had relations with another person.

My question is, doctrinally, do y'all agree with this wife that the husband's theft and lies constitute Biblical grounds for divorce for adultery?

OC described it as Spiritual Adultery. So, the question has been edited to read:

Is "Spiritual adultery", the same Biblical grounds for divorce as physical adultery?

Here's the scenario (with details left out of course).

Both husband and wife had prior "indiscretions" with other people, both confessed and were forgiven by each other and G-d.

They went to marriage counseling.

Husband became addicted to prescription pain killers and was caught more than 10 times stealing wife's meds and lying about it. Husband was eating twice the amount of his prescription meds than he was supposed to, then when he ran out of his, he stole his wife's sleeping pills and continued to deny it until he was caught red-handed.

Both went to pastoral counseling where it was suggested the wife lock up all the meds and keep the key.

Several more times, the husband lied about the drugs, intercepted the delivery of the drugs, found the key, stole the drugs and lied about it.

The husband was assigned a mentor from church. The husband refused to go and lied to the mentor.

Now, recently, the wife found that the husband had found her sleeping pills and taken 15 of them. When the wife confronted him, he admitted to taking 3.

At this point, the wife says, because the husband is a habitual liar, he has broken the trust of the marriage covenant. She says that his stealing and lying proves he does not love her or the vow he made to her and as such, has committed adultery.

MY position, as y'all would suspect, is that while this is a sad situation and in desperate need of help, it is NOT Biblical grounds for divorce since the husband has not been unfaithful with another person, but is in fact, in bondage to his addiction.

SOOO, my question is, doctrinally, do y'all agree with this wife that the husband's theft and lies constitute Biblical grounds for divorce for adultery?

[Guest LadyC]

no.

[Vickilynn]

Shalom LadyC,

Would you please expound on your answer?

Thanks!!

[tsth]

Dear Vickilynn,

I won't interfere with your request of LadyC, but I'm curious if you read the Soapbox thread on "Biblical View of Divorce and Marriage"?

In His Love,

Suzanne

[Guest LadyC]

Shalom LadyC,

Would you please expound on your answer?

Thanks!!

adultery is the only biblical grounds for divorce mentioned in scripture. adultery, as in sexual immorality. lying, stealing, using drugs, all that may be a good reason by most people's standards to divorce, but not by God's standard. i'm really not sure what you want me to expound upon.

[Openly Curious]

'Vickilynn'

The view is that the husband has "broken the marriage covenant" and thus committed "Adultery" by his actions, although the wife admits the husband has NEVER had relations with another person.

Both husband and wife had prior "indiscretions" with other people, both confessed and were forgiven by each other and G-d.

The answer is plain and simple "NO" it does not give her the biblical right to divorce her husband for he has not been guilty of adultery.

A thief, liar, drug addict is not an adulterer as they are not the same thing and should not be compared or used for a reason to be loosed from her husband for those things do not pertain unto marriage so the principles involved with being a thief, a liar and drug addict do not apply to the said scenario.

The principles that apply to marriage are set forth because of uncleanness within the marriage bed as one has a choice in the matter to stay in that type situation or to leave it. I think if my husband committed adultery on me with another woman I might would forgive the first offense or at least I hope God would help me to do that as it is hard to say what we would do in those type things but I know if I forgave the first offense there would be no second chance because of uncleanness that would come as a result of his unfaithfulness to me and I wouldn't put up with.

Answer is clear cut "No" those are not reasons to divorce someone for something that was clearly not done.

OC

[OopsMartin]

No, she does not have Biblical grounds for divorce.

He's in bad trouble though, no doubt. And I'm sure he's a real pain to deal with. And his behavior could be grounds for separation with counseling. It doesn't sound like he is supporting the family. Is he still able to work?

[Vickilynn]

No, she does not have Biblical grounds for divorce.

He's in bad trouble though, no doubt. And I'm sure he's a real pain to deal with. And his behavior could be grounds for separation with counseling. It doesn't sound like he is supporting the family. Is he still able to work?

Shalom,

Yes he is supporting the family.

[firehill]

NO.

She says that his stealing and lying proves he does not love her or the vow he made to her and as such, has committed adultery.

It appears that she is making his 'lying' out to = no love for her which = adultery. The equation is faulty. Though I feel for her in such a situation, her husband has a serious addiction which does not prove what she thinks it does. All it proves is that he has a serious problem with an addiction.

Though I'm not in the marriage, maybe there is some other way that he's shown to be actualy 'adulterous' that has not been mentioned.

[irishcowboy]

if...

IF....

if she is living in accordance with the Word of God, and he is not, and he chooses not to abide by the Word of God, or live in the condition that she is living by the Word of God and will not interfer with her living with in the scope of the Word of God, she can allow him to depart.... however, if he is willing she is still bound.......

or,

as stated above, adultry on his part....

divorce is ugly, even the most civil are ugly, they tear the insides apart, they rip out the hearts of those involved, not just the husband and wife, but also friends and other family members..... (who gets what visitation rights with which friends)....

if there is theft and drug problems, then that is a different issue all together..... both need to seek professional help,

mike