Do we really welcome everyone??

[sierra21]

I just finished reading an old post that really got me thinking. It was from a young lady who said she was having a really hard time "fitting in" around WB's. She said she felt like she didn't have anything to add, and when she did say something people often misunderstood or didn't take the time to figure out what she was trying to communicate.

I think this is probably a pretty common thing around here, even though I'm sure the majority of us don't mean to do it.

When I first started coming to WB's I would constantly get into "scraps" with people, not because I was so off-base with my ideas, but because people didn't know me or what type of person I was. After about six months, I had an entourage of people who knew who I was and what I stood for- so being a part of a conversation wasn't as difficult because I was less likely to be misunderstood.

It does also seem as if WB members are quick to discount new members ideas and comments...and I am not really sure why this is.

I really hope it's not because we have become a forum of "cliques"...although sometimes I think that might be true. The longer you are here, the more people you get to know, and the more "supporters" you gain. In saying that, I think that over time you have a group of people that you become a part of, and you follow them around to a certain extent. And since you like eachother, you support one another in arguments, ideas, comments, etc. This is especially evident during heated arguments. There is always a person that argues for their friend, even if they weren't a part of the argument to begin with.

I really don't know where I'm going with this post, other than perhaps a moment of self-clarification. Do we really want to be a forum that makes people feel like they can't "fit in"? Perhaps it's time to go more out of our way to make others feel welcome and comfortable, and revert from those comfortable groups we all like to roll in.

Just a thought anyway.

to everyone!

[AnotherTraveler]

It is obvious that if some people are of similiar mindsets in certain doctrinal areas, they might wind up in the same thread voicing supporting positions that tend to agree with one another.

It works the other way also, say anything that appears to refer to a doctrinal position against the Catholic church, and immediately without fail you will get the "I'm so weary of the Catholic bashing...", and in that response is the "please don't disagree with my position or I will call it bashing", when the real issue of looking into the truth of the scriptures, that we might all be benefitted, gets clouded with a false accusation of personal vendetta against someone.

When the fact is, if you stand for the truth as you understand it, and someone else stands for a different position, these can be discussed, but if someone that is disagreeing with you is suddenly "perverting the scriptures" or "a heritic", things go down hill from there.

Also, you have here a smorgosbord of maturity and various levels of biblical knowledge here, so there will certainly be some that flash the big words like hermeneutics...

http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/hermeneutics/

The term hermeneutics covers both the first order art and the second order theory of understanding and interpretation of linguistic and non-linguistic expressions. As a theory of interpretation, the hermeneutic tradition stretches all the way back to ancient Greek philosophy.

well, the young soul that is just trying to find the book of Acts is often overwhelmed by such learned speech (which is often more of a blizzard of BS than offering any real addition to the actual discussion going on.)

I think there is a real effort here to welcome all, however, welcoming all does not mean that bad behaviour is dismissed as though it is good behaviour, and there are rules here (I know, cause I have been scolded when I didn't fully respect them, and it was not a matter of being unwelcome, but if I was to be welcome, then honor the rules and those that must enforce them).

[Trusting Jesus]

I think you make a good point, Sierra21. But isn't it like any other friendship? Kind of tentative at first, trying to see where the other person is coming from? I felt the same way when I first started here...a little bit on the outside. But then I found the topics i enjoy talking about and that helps. There are so many great people here who love our Lord. Even though we don't always agree it is so interesting to read all of the posts.

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Nathele

[RedeemedByHim]

I just finished reading an old post that really got me thinking. It was from a young lady who said she was having a really hard time "fitting in" around WB's. She said she felt like she didn't have anything to add, and when she did say something people often misunderstood or didn't take the time to figure out what she was trying to communicate.

I think this is probably a pretty common thing around here, even though I'm sure the majority of us don't mean to do it.

When I first started coming to WB's I would constantly get into "scraps" with people, not because I was so off-base with my ideas, but because people didn't know me or what type of person I was. After about six months, I had an entourage of people who knew who I was and what I stood for- so being a part of a conversation wasn't as difficult because I was less likely to be misunderstood.

It does also seem as if WB members are quick to discount new members ideas and comments...and I am not really sure why this is.

I really hope it's not because we have become a forum of "cliques"...although sometimes I think that might be true. The longer you are here, the more people you get to know, and the more "supporters" you gain. In saying that, I think that over time you have a group of people that you become a part of, and you follow them around to a certain extent. And since you like eachother, you support one another in arguments, ideas, comments, etc. This is especially evident during heated arguments. There is always a person that argues for their friend, even if they weren't a part of the argument to begin with.

I really don't know where I'm going with this post, other than perhaps a moment of self-clarification. Do we really want to be a forum that makes people feel like they can't "fit in"? Perhaps it's time to go more out of our way to make others feel welcome and comfortable, and revert from those comfortable groups we all like to roll in.

Just a thought anyway.

to everyone!

to be honest..I have never felt like I fit in here...and didn't until last night when I said I was leaving and many people actually pmed me and asked me to stay....I just want to be accepted and loved despite my past and my failures and weaknesses...I don't think I have ever really known love except from my husband

[sierra21]

I think you make a good point, Sierra21. But isn't it like any other friendship? Kind of tentative at first, trying to see where the other person is coming from? I felt the same way when I first started here...a little bit on the outside. But then I found the topics i enjoy talking about and that helps. There are so many great people here who love our Lord. Even though we don't always agree it is so interesting to read all of the posts.

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Nathele

Hmmm, I see where you're coming from, but I think when people join worthy it's a lot like being "the new kid in school". If you've ever experienced that you know how thankful you are when even just one person takes you under their wing and helps you make friends. When this doesn't happen, you're perpetually alone...and no one likes eating alone in a huge cafeteria when everyone else is having fun and making you feel "ignored" (even if that isn't their intention).

[AnotherTraveler]

You make a good point. How can we "take someone under wing" here? It would be wonderful if we could come up with a way to greet and keep a few channels of communication open with every new poster, but how could such a thing be done?

It would require a lot of coordinated effort from many people, because even people that come here daily have limited time and ability. Hmmm, what about a special forum that keeps a list of all the new folks for a few months, encouraging us to pray for and "take under wing" a friend or two?

[Trusting Jesus]

Redeemed by Him -- I'm glad you stayed. I enjoy reading your posts and everyone has a past that - praise God - we have been saved from and foregiven for.

Sierra21 -- I was never really the new kid at school, but I never felt like I fit in anywhere. I was soooo shy. Still am, but have learned to pretend I'm not. It impresses my daughter! My mother always tried to get me over my shyness by telling me to think of the other person and try to make them feel at ease. I'm not sure how to do that on a forum like this. Maybe before posting something look at the number of posts the person has made. If it's a low number try to encourage conversation. Hmmmm....this will take though.

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Nathele

[ColleenLovesMischief]

I was the one who never fit in anywhere. Even here I have had to wait and wait for falling into place. Serria has a big point!

[David of Derby]

I've been made pretty welcome, but a lot of times I've gone in the chat room and not had much to say. Everyone already seems to know everyone else and I feel like a bit of an outsider, but when I said I might not come back I got a flood of messages asking me to stay. Of course, it's been a long time I've joined a new site that wasn't dedicated to a very specific purpose, like a computer game forum. People here have been pretty supportive of me since I got here, so I can't really say I've not been welcomed.

I seem to be rambling again in my very British way, so I'll just clam up now...

[kari21]

I think you make a good point, Sierra21. But isn't it like any other friendship? Kind of tentative at first, trying to see where the other person is coming from? I felt the same way when I first started here...a little bit on the outside. But then I found the topics i enjoy talking about and that helps. There are so many great people here who love our Lord. Even though we don't always agree it is so interesting to read all of the posts.

<>< ><>

Nathele

Hmmm, I see where you're coming from, but I think when people join worthy it's a lot like being "the new kid in school". If you've ever experienced that you know how thankful you are when even just one person takes you under their wing and helps you make friends. When this doesn't happen, you're perpetually alone...and no one likes eating alone in a huge cafeteria when everyone else is having fun and making you feel "ignored" (even if that isn't their intention).

Very good points.

I think some of it may come from a desire to see one "prove" themself. Meaning, to see if they really are here for fellowship, or just to bash. Real world encounters can make a Christian wary of trusting anyone too easily. As Christianity gets attacked more and more often from the media, and even from friends and family sometimes, we have to put our guard up. I wish it wasn't that way, but until we put our feelers out and "test the spirts," most Christians remain guarded.