Come On, Let's Go to the Deep End of the Pool!

[tsth]

Is it just me, OR does it seem harder and harder to carry on conversations of depth anymore?

It seems like it's harder and harder to find conditions that are conducive to conversations of depth, and I think people are longing for it.

We're surrounded by mediocrity and superficiality on a day to day basis, so we've gotten used to it. I wonder why?

People are afraid to speak of the things of the heart, unless of course, we're discussing our faith, or witnessing. But, for people just to share feelings about life in general, you just don't hear it much. I especially feel sorry for men. It seems as though men are really hurting for mentors, or even friendships of depth, where guys ask each other and share about finances, work, the places they're at in life.

I think it must have something to do with pride. We might be afraid to share that we're not as far along as the guy next door. Or, maybe that we're troubled by our debt, and how to handle it. I'm speaking of these things, because I know that people are in need of counsel, yet nobody ever asks, or shares about stuff like that.

I found that even within churches, most of the gatherings are social in nature, but not conducive to any deep conversations. It's usually something like potluck dinners and stuff like that. We're people come together, but fellowship is "light" in nature.

Just thinking out loud here, as even among the churches, it seems as though there's something of depth that is missing?

Anybody else noticing this?

In His Love,

Suzanne

[OneLight]

I find this true for forums like this to discuss private matters, allowing the world to see. On a one to one basis, I also find it hard to find someone that I can trust with this information, or one that really cares, for that matter. But to say that it is hard for me ... not one bit. What is hard is to find that one brother that cares. This I do long for.

OneLight

[zaidenmom]

I agree. It is hard to go so deeply into such things because we were taught to keep things private. I always long to ask questions or hear that someone has or does feel the way I do. we need to listen, teach and encourage.

good post!

zaidenmom

[Kansasdad]

Sorry but I just have to say this....you know me I just can't keep my mouth shut........but ...........................you sure can tell a woman came up with this post ................sorry couldn't help myself..............besides what was Manning thinking when he threw that pass anyway.

Ok Ok I know what you are saying...

personally I actually have these kinds of conversations quite a bit...............but no one has accused me of being normal so I probably do not have the best prespective.

God Bless

K.D.

[tsth]

I find this true for forums like this to discuss private matters, allowing the world to see. On a one to one basis, I also find it hard to find someone that I can trust with this information, or one that really cares, for that matter. But to say that it is hard for me ... not one bit. What is hard is to find that one brother that cares. This I do long for.

OneLight

That's what I'm talking about..........it's the "real" person time, that's lacking. It's as though people get really uncomfortable discussing anything of depth. And I agree, that this is why we come to these boards, because it IS acceptable to discuss anything without "too much" discomfort.

But to say that it is hard for me ... not one bit. What is hard is to find that one brother that cares. This I do long for.

Yup, that's what I'm talkin about. I think we've gotten so politically correct, or so proper, that we're afraid to bring up things that seem "too personal". I've noticed this with my husband's side of the family. They wouldn't dare ask anything that's of a personal nature, where in my mind, these are EXACTLY the things we're supposed to be interested in, if we love one another. We want to ask questions of deeper importance, and answer questions of deeper things. I'd truly love for people to "get personal/nosey". It would indicate that they indeed are interested and care about our lives.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[kari21]

I think it's a trust issue. We live in an age where anything that is spoken of in private can end up on someones blog the next day for all the world to read. We also live in an age of identity theft, where even the slightest personal info is gold to one engaged in fraud. You don't want to bare your soul to just anyone who could turn on you at some point and use that info against you. Even friends and family members can be guilty of this.

We must always have our guard up. It stinks, but that the price we pay living in the 21st century.

[tsth]

Sorry but I just have to say this....you know me I just can't keep my mouth shut........but ...........................you sure can tell a woman came up with this post ................sorry couldn't help myself..............besides what was Manning thinking when he threw that pass anyway.

Ok Ok I know what you are saying...

personally I actually have these kinds of conversations quite a bit...............but no one has accused me of being normal so I probably do not have the best prespective.

God Bless

K.D.

Hey Kansas,

Don't you know.........that's what women are for. Too keep everybody close and personal! But, I'm glad that you have found your feminine side!

(No, seriously, as I said before, I think more men ought to be discussing the issues they're facing on a day to day basis. Pastor/preachers especially need this! My husband would love to have someone to be able to share with, outside of him giving counsel to them. It would be nice for them to ask "how are you doing?" But, it doesn't always work that way for the preacher man. Plus, I think people are intimidated if they know you're a pastor, they REALLY won't ask then! )

In His Love,

Suzanne

[stan4257]

I find this true for forums like this to discuss private matters, allowing the world to see. On a one to one basis, I also find it hard to find someone that I can trust with this information, or one that really cares, for that matter. But to say that it is hard for me ... not one bit. What is hard is to find that one brother that cares. This I do long for.

OneLight

Just like you said.

To me, it is building up a feeling of trust that takes so much time, and that doesn't usually exist in a rush rush world. And in particular on forums like this where all that is posted is available through Google, the sharing of private thoughts is not the most wise thing to do when so many are ready to pounce and take advantage of any intimate information.

It has been said that a man is indeed fortunate if he has one real, go anywhere, do anything to help friend.

Some men, as Christians have found a personal, deep and intimate relationship with Jesus, but that is in no way usual. And for those who have not found that relationship with Jesus Christ, or are not Christians, life must be a very lonely place.

[stan4257]

I find this true for forums like this to discuss private matters, allowing the world to see. On a one to one basis, I also find it hard to find someone that I can trust with this information, or one that really cares, for that matter. But to say that it is hard for me ... not one bit. What is hard is to find that one brother that cares. This I do long for.

OneLight

Just like you said.

To me, it is building up a feeling of trust that takes so much time, and that doesn't usually exist in a rush rush world. And in particular on forums like this where all that is posted is available through Google, the sharing of private thoughts is not the most wise thing to do when so many are ready to pounce and take advantage of any intimate information.

It has been said that a man is indeed fortunate if he has one real, go anywhere, do anything to help friend.

Some men, as Christians have found a personal, deep and intimate relationship with Jesus, but that is in no way usual. And for those who have not found that relationship with Jesus Christ, or are not Christians, life must be a very lonely place.

And adding to that last post, I was obviously speaking as a man, not willing to intrude into the thoughts of lonely women, even though they seem to be similar.

Edited December 14, 2007 by stan4257

[tsth]

Maybe we can make this a class project. Let's see if we end up in any meaningful conversations over the weekend, and how did we orchestrate the conditions for them to arise? {maybe it's a matter of us being more open to begin with?}

I don't think I'll have occassion to, simply because I don't foresee any social functions other than church this weekend, (and frankly, for us, church and deep conversations are the norm, since our church is not the usual church. We get so many lonely people that by the time they come in for chapel, they want nothing more than to open up and share. They've been out on the road alone, for quite a while. I think that's why I don't understand why we can't see this in other areas?)

But, I'd be curious to know if anybody else can end up in a conversation of depth that is "out of the norm" for them, this weekend?

In His Love,

Suzanne