Being Friends With Unbelievers

[EricH]

Axxman, you said it better than I could. my sentiments exactly. Who needs carnal friends anyway. Our landlord is an unbeliever, but when he comes to do some job or other about the place, my wife invites him to have a drink of tea or coffee. I still wouldn't like to join his circle of friend though.......good post bro.

It is not a matter of "liking to be a part of their circle". Incarnational ministry involves us taking God to them even when it is not natural for us to do so.

[HeatherEljohari]

I would leave it to God- Because God will clear out what is not needed in the believers life. At least he did so with me. I was friends with some very ungodly people. I felt and knew people were being pulled out of my life. Of course- those people tried to come back in, but knowing Gods will- I left them outside. Simple it was Gods choice. He most likely knew they wouldnt be following his will any time soon, so discontinued the friendships. So yes God will remove what is unneccesary but we are to uphold what he opens and takes away from us.

Heatherxoxoxox

[Axxman]

If I was to suddenly switch my opinion and beleive we aren't supposed to be friends with sinners, what would I do with all of the relationships I have made with nonbeleivers?

Not answer the phone when I see their number on my display and then not return calls?

Or would it be okay to talk to them on the phone? Surely they can't cause me to sin over the phone can they? So if I can talk to them only on the phone, do I tell them that I shouldn't hang out with them because being around them causes greater temptation to sin?

So if I can talk to them on the phone, I'm just not supposed to go and have lunch or coffee with them? I might be tempted to sin when having coffee or lunch with them?

What would all of you who beleive my friendships with sinners is wrong suggest I do? I really want to know. Do I be honest and tell them my friendship with them had been a mistake and that it can't continue?

I find it strange that over and over again, I keep asserting that I don't NEED their friendships and it's not for my own gratification, but for THEM that I remain friends with them. This point seems to be lost over and over again. My motives are the very opposite of selfish. It's not about ME, it's about THEM.

As well, I do know that I'll be tempted no matter where or what I'm doing.

I've asked a number of times what kind of sin do you feel you fall in to when in the company of sinners and no one has answered yet. I am curious though if anyone doesn't mind answering.

I can understand advising a brand new Christian to keep their old friends at bay for a long time, but for a mature Christian to befriend a sinner? I am of the belief that I am far far stronger than they are. Greater is HE that is in me than he that is in the world.

ArtsyLady...

I have responded to your question ArtsyLady, but perhaps you missed it. There is absolutely no fear on my part that I will fall into some kind of sin if I hang out with non-believers...none. That really has nothing to do with it. The problem is pretty much the opposite. I WON'T fall into their worldliness and that is precisely the problem. They are of the world. The are in unity with the things of the world. They don't have the Holy Spirit guiding their hearts and minds. On a spiritual level we are diametrically opposed. Thats why the bible says that there is NO fellowship with the world. The message of the cross (and all that means to us) is foolishness to them.

This next part is kind of dicey...I don't intend to be mean or judge with my comments, but rather inspire honest discussion. In regards to what you should do with your current relationships with non-believers...I would examine why you have been able to maintain close relationships with the world inspite of the fact that the bible says that there is no fellowship with the world. The bible pretty much teaches that we are at emnity with the world and that they will NOT like us for who we are and what we represent...and yet somehow you've been able to buck that constant theme of the bible. My question to you is...shouldn't you be examining what is going on in your life that you are able to have fellowship with the world. Jesus himself said the world will like you IF you are of the world...but instead they should hate you because you were chosen...John 15:19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

This is the theme throughout the New Testament. I have asked for ANY scripture to the contrary and the closest anyone can get is that Jesus sat and ate with sinners. We've already established that eating and socializing with the world is NOT a bad thing. Jesus in Matthew 9 actually was having a meal at the house of Matthew (whom he'd recently called, and Matthew had followed the call of Christ)...There is ZERO indication that Jesus was a friend of ANY of them including Matthew. Jesus doesn't call the disciples friends until a few hours before his arrest in John 15. There are always going to be moments where we can find common ground with different people whether it be work, politics, the weather, etc... However, its our spiritual nature's that should make us incompatable.

[Emily~Anne]

Axxman, can you be more specific in what kind of things we should not do with unbelievers? You say eating and socializing is ok, what is not ok?

Do you feel it is different for family than it is for friends?

[artsylady]

Okay, sorry, I'm getting more confused. We can eat with them but not have fellowship with them?

We just order our food and sit there in silence?

[eric]

Axxman, you said it better than I could. my sentiments exactly. Who needs carnal friends anyway. Our landlord is an unbeliever, but when he comes to do some job or other about the place, my wife invites him to have a drink of tea or coffee. I still wouldn't like to join his circle of friend though.......good post bro.

It is not a matter of "liking to be a part of their circle". Incarnational ministry involves us taking God to them even when it is not natural for us to do so.

That is true up to a point, EricH, but we don't have to make friends with the unsaved, we are to be courteous and polite, which I am, and to be witnesses. Jesus was an itinerant preacher and when He stopped to have a breather, He spoke to everyone around Him. The only ones He called His friends were His disciples.

Before I was saved. I was a 'Jack the lad" around the town I lived. I was barman in most of the Taverns and clubs in the town, even had the license of two pubs out of town. I tried for a while to keep up friendship with some of them, but it just didn't work. In the finish I had to cut myself free for all of them, because I felt like a fish out of water. All of them,in reality, were pleasure seekers and weren't fussy how they found their pleasures, so I had to make up my mind which was most important to me. You can't straddle the fence. You are for God or against Him.

That doesn't mean to say that I cut them dead or crossed the street when I saw them. absolutely not, but even they realised that we walked different paths, that their ways were no longer my ways.

I mentioned in one of my posts, similar to this,...."Why would christian would want carnal friends"?.......The answer was......."they need us"...... They don't. They need Jesus. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't make friends with people in order to reach them, I witness to them so that the can become friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. I don't look down my nose at sinners, because I am one, but I never dive head first into a pool before I first test it's depth.

[eric]

Okay, sorry, I'm getting more confused. We can eat with them but not have fellowship with them?

We just order our food and sit there in silence?

I repeat myself again, Why would you be eating with them in the first place. I don't invite unsaved people to a meal, beacause the bible says, "come out from among them and be seperate." "What fellowship has light with dark" You can't manipulate those words from the bible to fit your own agenda. And as I don't have any unsaved friends. I'm hardly likely to be invited for a meal.

[getat151]

i think its ok

[patricia1]

Did I step on some toes about christians having airs... I am sorry but some christians do. As well as pastors I have been around them. Most of my friends want to stay around me because "there is something about you" they say. Of course it is the spirit of the Lord. If they do not mess up my peace they can stay.

I have had more christians stay with me which caused more problems than nonchristians!!! Lol

How do I know their needs...God knows them and will show me.

Where I live there are colleges and bars around me. Sometimes Jesus sends me in.

another example; Sent to a bar and a robust beautiful young man was talking on the phone, skin like chocolate. I walked over to him while he was on the phone..how rude of me, but I did not want to stay long, tapped him on the shoulder. He put up his finger to say one miute. after a few went by I finall tapped him again and said "Jesus sent me, Get off the phone!"

He got off that phone quickly and with his hand wipeing his eyes and face said "oh, Man!" I told him what was needing to be said. He told me He was not ready. I told him that he has gone far and if he goes too far a leash will jerk him like one does to a dog with a collar and it won't be pleasant. He comes from a long line of pastors and ministers and as I spoke to him I can hear thier cries for him and the loudest was the Holy Spirit and told him so. He started to cry, got into his car and I suppose went home. His friends were looking for him. And they were certainly not saved.

Another...

I was told by Jesus to go to a town nearby be. It is all new age and witchcraft. I went. Jesus told me where to stand and it was pouring rain out. As I waited absolutely not one person passed me by. there are bars up and down this area.

Finally a young man stopped near me and stood. I asked if he needed help, He said he lost his bike. (referring to a harley) I said back that he is losing more than that. There it was. He had been a christian all his life and lost two brothers in the hudson river near me in a boating incident. He closed his heart and started to believe theer was no God at all. We talked and prayed together. After the appt. with him , his bike was right in front of us. Imagine that. We may not know thier needs but Jesus knows. and at least if they don't have salvation we at least know that need without much thought...

[Axxman]

Did I step on some toes about christians having airs... I am sorry but some christians do. As well as pastors I have been around them. Most of my friends want to stay around me because "there is something about you" they say. Of course it is the spirit of the Lord. If they do not mess up my peace they can stay.

I have had more christians stay with me which caused more problems than nonchristians!!! Lol

How do I know their needs...God knows them and will show me.

Where I live there are colleges and bars around me. Sometimes Jesus sends me in.

another example; Sent to a bar and a robust beautiful young man was talking on the phone, skin like chocolate. I walked over to him while he was on the phone..how rude of me, but I did not want to stay long, tapped him on the shoulder. He put up his finger to say one miute. after a few went by I finall tapped him again and said "Jesus sent me, Get off the phone!"

He got off that phone quickly and with his hand wipeing his eyes and face said "oh, Man!" I told him what was needing to be said. He told me He was not ready. I told him that he has gone far and if he goes too far a leash will jerk him like one does to a dog with a collar and it won't be pleasant. He comes from a long line of pastors and ministers and as I spoke to him I can hear thier cries for him and the loudest was the Holy Spirit and told him so. He started to cry, got into his car and I suppose went home. His friends were looking for him. And they were certainly not saved.

Another...

I was told by Jesus to go to a town nearby be. It is all new age and witchcraft. I went. Jesus told me where to stand and it was pouring rain out. As I waited absolutely not one person passed me by. there are bars up and down this area.

Finally a young man stopped near me and stood. I asked if he needed help, He said he lost his bike. (referring to a harley) I said back that he is losing more than that. There it was. He had been a christian all his life and lost two brothers in the hudson river near me in a boating incident. He closed his heart and started to believe theer was no God at all. We talked and prayed together. After the appt. with him , his bike was right in front of us. Imagine that. We may not know thier needs but Jesus knows. and at least if they don't have salvation we at least know that need without much thought...

Patricia...those are wonderful stories and I'm certain that most of us have some wonderful stories of following the will of the Holy Spirit and reaching the lost in miraculous situations. I know I do. But what does that have to do with the OP and whether or not we should have committed relationships with the world? You keep talking about evangelism and NOBODY has said we shouldn't evangelize to unbelievers. In fact, ALL of your stories so far have shown that we DON'T need to be friends with the world in order to reach them.

BTW...I kinda found it ironically humorous that you accuse "some" Christians of "having airs"...then you make a statement like, "If they do not mess up my peace they can stay." I thought that was funny...