The divorce and remarriage question

[BigBert]

Divorce almost always has an instigator and a victim. The victims are the walking wounded, and the very institution that should be helping them pick up the pieces often simply hurts them more through judgement, narrow-mindedness, and ignorance. They have enough condemnation in their lives already, usually from friends, family, and former family members. They don't need more grief from the church.

Boy I really agree with this. For me that is the reason our Churches should get more invovled with divorce and re-marriage, and really help those wounded, the victims. The fact is scripture is pretty sound in its way it deals with people and these people need our support, the pastor should be able to offer the Churches blessing to these people and give them the freedom to move on.

Part of that however is not giving its blessing to the instigators. Adultery cannot be blessed by a Church and when a Church takes part in a second marriage of someone who is leaving/cheating/abondoning thier true husband/wife/family, it is part of the ongoing sin.

I definitely agree with you here 100%. The problem is, the church, in general, does not seperate the Victimizer from the Victim. They lump them into the same class and treat them the same way, and they shouldn't. There should be a clear deliniating line between them, and they should be treated differently. I am with you. The instigator should not have his/her actions condoned. This is often done, and the victim is often the one they hang out to dry, like it was somehow their fault. That part I don't get at all.

Good stuff from both of y'all as far as I'm concerned. I enjoy this kind of back and forth.

[kross]

I was going to answer the question for the poll but there wasn't a YES button. Christians always stand blameless before GOD.

[BigBert]

(to Cobalt) And her convictions about that showed you were on the right path with that one. Third time a charm, huh? (grins)

Regarding reconciliation, I tend to agree with you, and as Paul exhorts, we're to let the non believer go in such a situation. Having said that, I feel peace about my own end of it. Because, while I certainly didn't beg, I did all I felt I could, even relaying to her just a week ago my willingness in this "final hour" to still try and reconcile, that we need some Christian-based counseling together.

Absolute silence on her end, as always, which says a lot, actually.

Edited September 2, 2009 by BigBert

[sheya joie]

1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

1Co 7:28

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned

; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

Prime example of taking scripture out of context. I would be very careful with that. ahem...false teaching. If you were to read the entire chapter, these particular verses are directed only towards the Unmarried and Widows.

Anyone else have any scriptures on remarriage?

? These are consecutive verses; how is the 'thou' in verse 28 not the same person as the 'thou' in verse 27?

You need to reread the chapter. It does not apply to this topic.

I beg to differ. The first part of verse 27 says 'Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed.' In other words, if you are married (bound) to a wife, don't seek to be divorced (loosed) from her. This is plainly not speaking to someone who is unmarried or widowed. The next part of verse 27 says 'Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.' In other words, if you are divorced (loosed), don't seek to marry again. The next verse then says (and keep in mind that the original as Paul wrote it was not divided up into separate verses) 'But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned'. In other words, if you do marry, you have not sinned. Who then is the 'thou' or 'you' in this verse? Plainly, it is the same 'thou' as the previous sentence - the 'thou' who is loosed (divorced) from a wife.

[JCISGD]

When i as a new believer was faced with a looming divorce by my wife whom i thought to be an unbeliever at the time, i would ask myself would Jesus divorce ?, and despite those pointing to scripture they thought advised/allowed this, i just could not get past wanting to do as Jesus would.

My wife was previously married and her husband was still alive, but i did not know that my marriage was therefore adulterous according to Rom 7:2+3.

So rather than stay in such a marriage i see now Jesus would never have entered such a marriage in the first place, therefore it was good and nescessary that i divorced, as it is only first divorces that God hates.

God did not divorce Israel as He indeed keep some at the same time,like the 7000 prophets that Elijah knew nothing about, God always keeps a remnant or else it would have prevented the Messiah coming through Davids line. Also God took those back that repented, therefore the use of the word divorce by God cannot be used to sanction divorce by humans, which God says He hates.

God is not double minded saying He hates divorce and yet violating His own standard, it is we who have misconstrued His words and intention in using them.

It is not necessary that a divorced person be a victim and God promises to fill up the lack of those who lose anything from following Him. What do you say of one put in prison and tortured for Christ for 20 yrs, does he think himself a victim ? not if he knows the rewards of God.

Having a blessed second marriage does not prove God is in it, many non christians also claim this as do many homosexual marriages. Math 7:21- 23 shows us that even if we can cast out demons and do many wonders in His name, this does not prove God condones the miracle worker.

believing we have the Holy Spirit also does not prove we do, and if the fruits of the Spirit (holiness) are not present, then do we have the Holy Spirit? To be sure we have a spirit operating in us but is it Holy.

Dont be fooled the Pharisees thought they had God, but God had not spoken to them for 400 yrs before Christ and God was silent through the prophets during this time.

If you truly have no troubles in your conscience so be it, but i must speak according to my conscience and if im wrong it does not relieve anyone from checking their own standing with God, but speak i must unless i am doubtful of my position.

[BigBert]

JCISGD--I always appreciate your sincerity, as you know fully.

Sorry, though, God clearly stated He divorced Israel, giving her a certificate and the whole bit (Jeremiah 3:8). He uses the same Hebrew word for divorce as the OT scriptures in Deuteronomy 24: 1-4 for conditions that made divorce acceptable (if not ideal). The reason of relentless unfaithfulness is given. As to Malachi 2:16, the prophet does not use the word for divorce used in the instances cited above, but rather the word meaning "to put away," in which wives were tossed out without protection of a divorce. Since they were rarely self-sufficient in such a male dominated culture, this was a death knell, as they could either be forced to remain single and figure hot to fend for themselves or literally be considered adulterers for remarrying due to officially still being married to their former husbands who punted them out.

God hated that treatment of the women (Mal 2:16), and the surrounding text in that book indicate the context to be just that.

I know that your experience hugely affected your outlook, and understandably so. I just don't think that means it should be applied to as many circumstances as you do, that's all.

With respect,

Bert

Edited September 2, 2009 by BigBert

[BigBert]

1Co 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

1Co 7:28

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned

; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

Prime example of taking scripture out of context. I would be very careful with that. ahem...false teaching. If you were to read the entire chapter, these particular verses are directed only towards the Unmarried and Widows.

Anyone else have any scriptures on remarriage?

? These are consecutive verses; how is the 'thou' in verse 28 not the same person as the 'thou' in verse 27?

You need to reread the chapter. It does not apply to this topic.

I beg to differ. The first part of verse 27 says 'Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed.' In other words, if you are married (bound) to a wife, don't seek to be divorced (loosed) from her. This is plainly not speaking to someone who is unmarried or widowed. The next part of verse 27 says 'Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.' In other words, if you are divorced (loosed), don't seek to marry again. The next verse then says (and keep in mind that the original as Paul wrote it was not divided up into separate verses) 'But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned'. In other words, if you do marry, you have not sinned. Who then is the 'thou' or 'you' in this verse? Plainly, it is the same 'thou' as the previous sentence - the 'thou' who is loosed (divorced) from a wife.

I would add the reason here for Paul's particularly strong recommendation to "remain unmarried" if you're in such a state is because he was fully convicted the persecution was near and therefore time was very short in working for the Lord to save souls. Certainly that should be a priority always for believers and it's natural to desire strongly to see others become saved. It's a natural outgrowth of one's faith and the Spirit's residing. But circumstances also aren't always quite so urgent (though we could argue they are today with many believing the end times are drawing close).

[kross]

I'm with His Girl because of what God's Word says but I voted for but personally, I voted for "ok to stick it out because we have an Almighty God."

I say this because in my own marriage, I have been through a lot in such a short short time, a lot of you know my story. Every time I let go and work my best to be the wife that God tells me to be, things work out because I'm being obedient. He makes my marriage right. If God can do this in my marriage, you all know the stories, then it leads me to believe that IF there were ever these other types of things occurring and God forbid.....I trust completely in the Lord to bring healing and restoration to any situation that may arise in my marriage. Ayin Jade has brought me to this truth every SINGLE time I have ever came to her with a question. She has always given me sound, BIBLICAL advice. If we know God's nature and we know God's Word, then we know in our hearts what is the right thing to do and not to do. This has just been my experience however.

If every wife would be the wife scripture says to be, then a lot more marriages would turn out right.

[Believer1997]

I'm with His Girl because of what God's Word says but I voted for but personally, I voted for "ok to stick it out because we have an Almighty God."

I say this because in my own marriage, I have been through a lot in such a short short time, a lot of you know my story. Every time I let go and work my best to be the wife that God tells me to be, things work out because I'm being obedient. He makes my marriage right. If God can do this in my marriage, you all know the stories, then it leads me to believe that IF there were ever these other types of things occurring and God forbid.....I trust completely in the Lord to bring healing and restoration to any situation that may arise in my marriage. Ayin Jade has brought me to this truth every SINGLE time I have ever came to her with a question. She has always given me sound, BIBLICAL advice. If we know God's nature and we know God's Word, then we know in our hearts what is the right thing to do and not to do. This has just been my experience however.

If every wife would be the wife scripture says to be, then a lot more marriages would turn out right.

AND if every husband would be the man scripture says to be, then a lot more marriages would turn out right. It's a 2-way street.

[Guest man]

If every wife would be the wife scripture says to be, then a lot more marriages would turn out right.

AND if every husband would be the man scripture says to be, then a lot more marriages would turn out right. It's a 2-way street.

Why is it always the wife that gets singled out?