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dr3032

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  1. When it comes to me, I had a few experiences as a kid that cast alcohol into a terrible light. So much so that I used to not be able to be around it or drunk people, out of both fear and anger. My view on it has eased enough over time, but I must still admit to unease and discomfort around drinks and drunk people. I avoid it if at all possible. Also when it comes to me, I just view anything that changes a person from how they typically are as being inadvisable. That even includes common medication; it should really only be a last resort. I don't know if i'd call alcohol a sin, but drinking it in excess, definitely. I don't take a major issue with it if someone is doing it behind closed doors - Just so long as i'm not around it.
  2. Or it could just be a genetically weak immune system. Did this only start recently? Or perhaps you've got mold or fungus growing in your home somewhere.
  3. I would ask her to define what exactly "emotional support" even is. With a rather vague term, people probably imagine different things. I think it best if a man and a woman try to make their marriage work, especially when the cause of issue is not either having an affair. Part of this is having a good, healthy communication. I agree with one of the other posters that she might like it better if you all lived closer to her parents. Maybe point out that you're not a mind reader and that if she wanted emotional support, she should have voiced as much. A man shouldn't have to look at his wife like some kind of Sudoku puzzle. Though on a side note, it might also be good to be prepared if she really is just being irrational and goofy. Not to the point of taking legal action or anything, per say - We really are supposed to try and handle things whilst we're in the way. If she wants to leave and won't hear any of it, then i'd advise praying that she come to her senses, and that her and the children remain safe and well-fed. I can understand concern for your children, but i'm going to quote Matthew 6:26. "Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" Trust in the Lord.
  4. I think the "cool guys" thing is just the search for an understanding friend. Not through text on a screen, but face to face understanding, am I right? You want to know who's a cool guy? Jesus. Pretty gnarly dude, if I do say so myself. This particular sin has been an issue for me as well. In the past, as an unbeliever, I was a sort of deep sea diver when it came to such inappropriate material. Multiple times a day and for a number of years. Let me tell you, that such things change the biological makeup of your mind, making a recovery difficult, almost like an addict. I tried so many times in so many different ways to do it with my own willpower. I am a man, am I not? What kind of dumb animal can't control himself? Well, me, apparently. Trust me, don't fall into the trap of "I can fight it off myself," because I can testify to the fact that it messes you up more. You must pray in the moment. It can be difficult because the mind and the body are fighting you, but prayer is the proper thing to do. I like to also think of the line, "you reap what you sow". You are what you focus on. Put a blocker on your computer to block illicit sites; since these come with passwords and you can find yourself simply bypassing them, you could always try only using the computer in public. Act as if someone is always watching you, because he is. The clothing women wear is also an issue, one I still honestly have a problem with. I try to do a "bounce away" strategy, where you find your eyes going to that part of the women, you bounce your eyes over a different way and don't look back. I forget who said it here in this thread, calling it shame, but yeah, don't dwell on it too much. A bit of guilt is expected, but I know what it's like to focus on it too hard. It's like the mind doesn't shut up going DO IT DO IT and then when you do do it, it sits there for a few hours just going WHY DID YOU DO IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. So tiresome. Just breathe. Take a deep breath and realize that the battle was lost, but not the war. In the words of Grant, "lick 'em tomorrow". Finally, be patient. Wounds take time and effort to be healed. It may seem like you're going nowhere, a little too often, but trust in the Lord. Keep on your feet, you know? *As an addendum, going back to the mind being altered business, it helps if you find something that replaces that "high". Like a hobby. Most people, myself included, like exercise. If and when it rears it's head, go for a walk or take it out on a punching bag. Anything that helps, from painting to bird watching. Just so long as it occupies your mind and helps you feel good without having to resort to such sin.
  5. I have to agree with other posts in that I think people have had an effect in general over time, though being a rather withdrawn and aloof guy, my experiences are rather minimal. They have mostly been "counterpoint" examples; examples of what you don't do. My older brother has shown me to place a value on women, or at least, try to. He's had so many girls in his life, if you asked him for a number, I doubt he would even remember it. Each and every time, they're scared off by his controlling and abusive nature. That, and to show respect for others, as my brother tended to grate on people's nerves with his attitude and manner. Also a lesson in finance, since he would often make out a huge list of wants and desires, and not wanting to strain my family's wallets, i'd insist that I didn't really want anything. My dad had a bad alcohol habit, which is why I don't touch the stuff with a 10 foot pole. I've calmed down about it over time, but I still get really uneasy and upset around people who are drinking and/or drunk. Finance lesson as well, due to gambling problems. I had a friend in school who i'll call J. We met in middle school, and he would drink, and smoke cigs and blunts. I still have a yearbook, and in his picture, he looks to be both drunk and high (flushed cheeks, red eyes). You could always tell, cause he'd seem a bit down when he wasn't at least buzzed. He was initially a bit of a counterpoint, but he changed later. I remember we were walking together to school, and he invited me to come behind the school. I asked him why, and he said that that's where he and some other kids would smoke. "Oh no," I said, "I don't touch that stuff." He looked a bit shocked and grinned, and he said, "That's actually good, don't ever touch it. I wish I hadn't ever picked up the habit." I then asked him why not quit and he said that he had tried to several times already. It wasn't until our freshman year of high school that he revealed he'd successfully quit his habits. No beer or cigarettes, and he was such a happy and friendly guy. He'd shoot fingerguns in the hallways at everyone and laugh like that was somehow the funniest thing ever. It didn't affect me much then, but he kind of showed me that terrible habits can be overcome. I could go on and on, but yeah, it's just been people in general. I've blabbered on enough already.
  6. I was raised in a Christian home. We had a pastor that my parents really liked. Certain things came to light however, and many of the congregation voted him out of office. My parents were the only ones to stick by him. Because of this, it either was or seemed to be unwelcoming for them at church anymore, so they left. They have not gone to church since, and much of the rest of my youth was rather secular. I eventually bought into atheism as a young teenager. When I started thinking that surely there is an explaination for life beyond a random explosion, I looked elsewhere. I went to the New Age movement for a bit. Then I went to Buddhism. I then finally felt the pull to pick up the Bible. I was the typical atheist, too. I'd mock people for their beliefs. Go online and start arguments. I've said and done many things in the past that I regret. Far too many things. However, it must be of note that this was brought about not by someone speaking to me. It's not that I disagree, of course; hate the sin, not the sinner. I try to view everyone as a potential brother or sister. I also agree with other posts though that this should not be seen as a means of permissiveness. Sin is not okay and it never will be. The way I was in the past? It was incorrect.
  7. If it's the church in general, I like to put a divide between man and God. Just because someone claiming to be a Christian wronged you doesn't mean that God wronged you. There's men, and then there's God. His thoughts aren't our thoughts, nor his ways our ways. If it's just the specific congregation, then I agree with the other posters. Forgiveness I agree with, but having toxic and inconsiderate people around you just tends to drag you down.
  8. Um... "Super hot cousin"? I apologize for pointing it out, but most relatives i'd say something like "pretty" or "charming". Super hot cousin is kind of... Yeesh. I would definitely advise prayer. When I was trying to move away from being an atheist, I looked elsewhere before being pulled towards the Bible - That includes the New Age nonsense. It is confusion. People either convincing themselves of something or other, or the deceiver lulling them into such trickery. As it is with most things, people are very unwilling to change, nor question themselves. I suppose any kind of approach you might try to make would be based on their beliefs. That would probably involve... A bit too much research and focus on such things than i'd really advise, for anyone. Prayer and letting yourself be shown as an example is really the best option.
  9. In school, you don't have to worry. Were you paying attention when that other guy was up there talking? I feel like when people realize that other people are kind of taken up in their own little worlds, the prospect of messing up and being judged for it just looks silly. Who cares what they think, anyway? Most people are idiots. As I like to say, if you don't want to fall, then don't look down. You just have to make sure that you've got your presentation in order. I should hope, at the very least, that this isn't a group project. I remember having to do a group presentation in school, and when the teacher called on my group, I was the only one who went to the front of the class. My group was laughing at me and they were like, "yeah, we didn't really do any of the work" so the teacher just told me to give my portion of the project. I had stage fright too, so I stammered and stuttered on about drunk driving while feeling embarrassed. I only realized years later that the only ones who needed to be embarrassed were my group members.
  10. Your enemy is moving to attack you. What do you need? A formidable shield. What is a shield? Faith. Your enemy flanks you, and attempts to strike you from the side. What do you need? A suit of armor. If you're wearing full plate, then the blow not blocked by your shield will either be deflected or will have minimal effect. You parry your enemy, thus leaving him open. What do you need? A blade. What is a blade? The word of God. For no enemy stands before it. There is a reason why Paul writes of the armor of God. I would compare perserverance more with a warrior on the battlefield.
  11. I agree with Gandolf, insomuch that those types of things don't normally get through to many unbelievers. That, and you would have to capture their interest, which is a terribly difficult thing to do. Just look at TV and movies - They make that trash because people (primarily unbelievers) like that trash. That's not to say that it would be impossible, mind you. I've considered writing a book series myself, if I were a better writer, more skilled in the English language, and had the patience to even bother with it. We all know the generic knight character; attempting to emulate honor and justice, with a gleaming sword dyed red with the blood of the wicked - i've always wanted to take a character like that and, through the series, show how vigilante justice and dreams of grandeur often fall drastically short in reality. In order to make a story compelling or interesting, you have to capture people's imagination, and more often than not, the imaginations of man are... Not very wholesome. A story like mine would have to have lots of bloodshed and violence, dark and depressing sentiments, who knows what else. Just as with Gandolf, I think it best if a person sticks to scripture. If a person can hear words of wisdom and righteousness from the very pages of the Bible, and they refuse to listen? How much more so then, when a story is crafted based around such scripture, will they refuse to listen?
  12. I locked myself away in high school because of gossip. I wouldn't even go to lunch; i'd sit in front of my locker and wait until the lunch period was past. Honestly, if I could go back, i'd try to do better as far as grades go, and try to open up even just a bit more. Though, being a loser did have it's advantages. I certainly never had to deal with drugs or alcohol. A few encounters with some girls that were a bit too brazen in their approach, but it was good that they scared me, as it kept my virginity intact. I didn't have anyone to talk to in class, so it did make me pay attention - I didn't even have to study and i'd still get A's or B's, most of the time. Let me tell you - You aren't really going to see most of those kids after you leave. High school is temporary, despite how long it feels. If they happen to not like you, forget them. It's not worth the effort nor the worry. Just relax. Focus on your studies and on finding friends of quality, not of quantity. My friends and I were losers, but they helped me get through high school.
  13. My response at the moment would be "I'm sorry, but i'm not at a place in my life where women really need to be on my mind at all. I thank you for asking, however, i'm very flattered". If I was better off, though? I would first say that I would only consider dating a friend, and offer for us to become friends first. This would scare off women who aren't looking for anything serious, for the most part. Then, once we were on friendly terms, I would inform her that as a Christian, I am restricted to Christian women, explaining that a person should not be unequally yoked. If she is an unbeliever, that would likely scare her off. If she wants to become a believer, then take it slow. Perhaps introduce her to your church whilst you're becoming friends, so she can have a bit more understanding by the time the topic arises again.
  14. I assume by the use of "fatality" that this is the Mortal Kombat series. It is a rather gruesome serious of games, not only with fatalities, but they have end-battle sequences like deathtraps and suicide as well. I remember Kenshi, a blind swordsman, commiting a Japanese ritualistic suicide called harakiri, which is basically a person disembowelling themselves. Mileena's fatality was eating the enemy's face. You can punch the enemy into rotating spikes that rip them apart, or over the side of a cliff so that they are impaled on stalactites below. On top of fighting games being violent, it's well-known that they amp up the difficulty level to make it more "fun". Boss characters are very cheap. Fighting games are crafted, it almost seems like, to make a player who is not very skilled, very upset. Thus a fighting game not only breeds violence but anger as well. Though admittedly, my experience with them wasn't always bad. I remember enjoying the Character Creation options, where you can actually make a character to use. The PS2 Mortal Kombats had alternative game modes, like Motor Kombat, which was like Mario Kart. Puzzle Kombat as well. On Soul Calibur 2, Cassandra was my girl. I was terrible with every other character, but Cassandra? It felt nice to win. However, even given those few fond memories, I agree very much that such games are not healthy. It is presented in a very "light" manner, as if the characters deaths are no big deal. Almost as if the player is meant to revel and celebrate in such bloodshed. That's not even mentioning the perverseness of such games. Women wearing what's basically a few strings as outfits, the skirts fly up and reveal far too much, and that doesn't exempt the male characters, either; oiled up chests or pants that are clearly too tight. The Dead or Alive series is possibly the worst in this regard. DOA2 has a gallery where the women were in bikinis. Another one (I think it was DOA4) has a "camera mode" option, tempting players to voyeurism - snapping pictures when the skirts fly up. As for the part about viewing crime scene pictures, I can see why they would be disturbed. I've watched a number of gruesome videos online. Men blowing their brains out, even a little girl hang herself. Kind of stuff that makes your stomach twirl, and all your hair stand on end. I remember watching the crime scene video for the Wonderland murders. Drugdealers, thieves, who knows what else - but what a terrible and brutal image. You see a man lying beaten to death, covered in blood... I don't care if they were criminals; it saddened me to see. I make a specific effort to try and avoid such things exactly for these reasons. The more you focus on it, the more it sticks with you. Let's hope they get a job with a company like Nintendo or something.
  15. Ah. Now I understand this post. I put "no fun allowed" because I thought pictures were disallowed in this thread. Here is how you post a picture. You must first have the picture saved onto your computer's files. Select the text box to type. To the southwest, the lower left corner, you will see a paperclip with an option to choose a file. Click this and select your documents. This should lead you to your picture folder.
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