Lust

[other one]

If a man courting a woman(with intention of marriage) is having lustful desires towards her what should he do?

If they become engaged to marry would the advice change?

Agua, you use the term lust, but you should make sure exactly what you mean with that word. There is a natural hormonal attraction between men and women that attracts them to each other. That is very normal and there is nothing wrong with it.

When that attraction becomes an obsession, in my view that is where Lust begins. With some people that doesn't take much.

But whether or not it's hormones or lust, we are expected to control ourselves and not act on thise desires. It is perfectly normal for a couple to desire each other before they are married. However it should be perfectly normal for both to be able to control themselves untill they are married.

How to control it...... first of all talk. Find out how each person feals about each other and how they view sex, especially premarital sex. If both people agree and pledge to each other that they will wait for each other till marriage it is one thing, but if either or both can't then they should never be alone together privately until they are married.

My wife and I made that pledge many months before we were married. Because of the way we dated, she stayed at my house on many occasions and neither of us seriously wanted to break that pledge..... and we didn't. It's made our marriage of 40 years next month something very special to us..... and it's been good for we spent so much time together before we got married and without sex, that we were very sure that we could live together long after the early marriage thrill of sex wore off. We knew we truly loved each other and our relationship was special even outside the bedroom.

So, in your discussions, come to an agreement that you will be together as much as possible but give marriage a real try before you get married and spend a lot of time together out of bed...... for that is the way it will be anyway.

If you find that you just can't keep apart out of bed, then go find someone else, for if you can't trust yourselves before marriage, there is no reason to think either of you will be faithful after marriage, and as easy as divorce is in this country, sex is a really really bad reason to marry someone if you're looking for a real soulmate. Sex may make one want to get married, but it never keeps people married. Being married does not give one any self control, so if you can't control ones self when your single, you won't be able to control yourself after you are married either and that will make one a really bad spouse.

[oldzimm]

I agree with "other one", we should defined what the word lust really means before we start going around thinking that we have sinned because something attracted us to someone of the opposite sex.

My Websters Dictionary defines lust as........(N)strong desire for sexual gratification; any strong desire. (V) have passionate desire.

So it is my opinion that it is not a sin to find a person of the opposite sex attractive, but if you have this strong desire for you know what with them, then you better take a cold shower and have a talk with God.

A good example is something that happen to me this past weekend. (the confessions of oldzimm and it is funny)

There was a very large Veterans parade at a neighboring town and our Legion had a color guard in it, my son and me were in the color guard.

We were standing at the place where the parade was forming, when a car pulled up behind us and I heard this lovely voice say excuse me. We turned around and I was stunned (even at my old age), there was a very beautiful young lady in the car asking for directions on how to find one of the parade organizers. When I say beautiful, I don't mean just outwardly but inwardly also, the way she spoke with politeness was astounding.

Well we gave her directions and she was on her way. I said to my son "Wow now there was an attractive young lady". My son said yes and do you know who she was? I looked at my son and said there's no way that you know who she is. My son said yes I do, that was Miss Pennsylvania, it was written on her car.................. Well I didn't really notice the car.

Well the point is there I seen an extremely attractive lady and I didn't have any lustful thoughts, so I wouldn't consider me finding her attractive a sin. I will say one thing, it made my day. because later we got a picture taken of Miss Pennsylvania standing with us, the Legion color guard.

[enoob57]

If a man courting a woman(with intention of marriage) is having lustful desires towards her what should he do?

If they become engaged to marry would the advice change?

To honor an glorify God in the obedience of His Word is the highest love that can be performed by us who love Him. To put anything before that is to destroy the very thing you wish to keep! The world is reaping this truth as we speak and judgment is coming upon us all! It took me 40 years to learn the fullness of this and to have that truth now within me I regret not one of those years in the getting of it!

[RustyAngeL]

Lust is lust, until you are married.

Love will always wait lust never will. Think about it.