Huge fight with my wife

[Believer112]

What does the bible say about fighting between spouses? I just had a big argument with my wife. She made me really mad by saying something that was untrue about me, and I called her out on her attitude as of late and how much I have been sacrificing for her. I yelled at her. I feel like crap now, im sad and depressed. She just took our kids out to go eat with some family, she barely said two words to me. When she gets back it will be really late, then we will have a 5 hour drive back home. This was supposed to have been a vacation and has been nothing but a disaster so far.

I cant help but cry as I write this, I feel like she may just not come home, just to hurt me. I felt like I was seeing my son for the last time as she carried him to the car. Im sorry I yelled, but why do I have to bite my tongue all the time and never say how I feel? Why is it that when I get mad I'm a horrible person but its ok for her to lose it at the drop of a hat. What I said was the truth, so why do I feel so bad right now?

Fighting or strife?

James 3:16 King James Version (KJV)

¹⁶For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

Brother I'm curious? what if you would have told her "Honey I love you very much and what you said is not truthful" and walked away and prayed. Do you think the fight would have escalated?

Proverbs 13:10

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁰Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 17:14

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁴ The beginning of strife is like releasing water;

Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.

In other words pride causes strife. Pride is being self centered. It's what she said or did to "ME". Brother the only person you have control over is yourself. You can't control how your wife treats you but you can definitely control the way you react. There's a teaching of God's kind of Love through you (self centeredness) by Andrew Wommack that help transform my marriage. http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1055

May God's word bless your marriage.

[other one]

Well I have apologized, we are talking now. Things are slightly better, perhaps I should just give it time.

http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3204559/k.F5BB/Attend_a_conference.htm

I have a cousin who involved with this ministry and it has some really good results. My wife and I attend one of these even though we didn't think we had any real problems.... turned out that there were some things that were really keeping us from being the married couple that God really expected. I can't say that it drastically changed our lives, but it did head off some problems that would hat changed our lives.

I can tell from your post that the both of you would really get some insight into being what Jesus told us about marriage. If you can possibly attend one of these I do believe it would go a long way into; making things the way they should be.

[RigMedic]

What does the bible say about fighting between spouses? I just had a big argument with my wife. She made me really mad by saying something that was untrue about me, and I called her out on her attitude as of late and how much I have been sacrificing for her. I yelled at her. I feel like crap now, im sad and depressed. She just took our kids out to go eat with some family, she barely said two words to me. When she gets back it will be really late, then we will have a 5 hour drive back home. This was supposed to have been a vacation and has been nothing but a disaster so far.

I cant help but cry as I write this, I feel like she may just not come home, just to hurt me. I felt like I was seeing my son for the last time as she carried him to the car. Im sorry I yelled, but why do I have to bite my tongue all the time and never say how I feel? Why is it that when I get mad I'm a horrible person but its ok for her to lose it at the drop of a hat. What I said was the truth, so why do I feel so bad right now?

Fighting or strife?

James 3:16 King James Version (KJV)

¹⁶For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

Brother I'm curious? what if you would have told her "Honey I love you very much and what you said is not truthful" and walked away and prayed. Do you think the fight would have escalated?

Proverbs 13:10

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁰Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 17:14

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁴ The beginning of strife is like releasing water;

Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.

In other words pride causes strife. Pride is being self centered. It's what she said or did to "ME". Brother the only person you have control over is yourself. You can't control how your wife treats you but you can definitely control the way you react. There's a teaching of God's kind of Love through you (self centeredness) by Andrew Wommack that help transform my marriage. http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1055

May God's word bless your marriage.

I KNOW the fight would not have escalated if I had handled it differently. The problem is trying to walk away and calm down first. In the heat of the moment its difficult not to react in anger.

I realize that forgiveness and apologizing are two different things. I feel like I have forgiven her, we are doing alot better now. How am I to forget about it though when I'm worried the same type of conflict might occur again?

[nebula]

How am I to forget about it though when I'm worried the same type of conflict might occur again?

You can ask the Lord to heal and clean your heart concerning the root of the issue(s), and for her to do the same.

[RigMedic]

How am I to forget about it though when I'm worried the same type of conflict might occur again?

You can ask the Lord to heal and clean your heart concerning the root of the issue(s), and for her to do the same.

Ok, I'll do that. Thank you everyone, this has really helped me alot. You guys are great!

[enoob57]

What does the bible say about fighting between spouses? I just had a big argument with my wife. She made me really mad by saying something that was untrue about me, and I called her out on her attitude as of late and how much I have been sacrificing for her. I yelled at her. I feel like crap now, im sad and depressed. She just took our kids out to go eat with some family, she barely said two words to me. When she gets back it will be really late, then we will have a 5 hour drive back home. This was supposed to have been a vacation and has been nothing but a disaster so far.

I cant help but cry as I write this, I feel like she may just not come home, just to hurt me. I felt like I was seeing my son for the last time as she carried him to the car. Im sorry I yelled, but why do I have to bite my tongue all the time and never say how I feel? Why is it that when I get mad I'm a horrible person but its ok for her to lose it at the drop of a hat. What I said was the truth, so why do I feel so bad right now?

You have the same problem as the rest of us! Learning to die to self is going to be a life long process for He has left us in that self that we might learn how through Him not to live in it! If you look at your text above -the subject I is in almost every sentence...

The Christian life is about living to God and others while letting God take and oversee our needs not wants! As we successfully do this we are able to invest ourselves into the lives of others so as to have permanent effect upon their lives for God... there is no greater freedom than to be rid of concern for self and be filled with the concern of God and others. Emptying one's self of self is to agree with God that it is of no value what we ourselves think or believe if it is contrary to God's thoughts and wants.... that means when we receive hurt we do not return hurt no matter how unjust the receiving... for then through our obedience our prayers to God are heard and greatest effect can be accomplished in the lives of those who hurt us- just like Christ unto our own life! Love Steven

[desi2007]

What does the bible say about fighting between spouses? I just had a big argument with my wife. She made me really mad by saying something that was untrue about me, and I called her out on her attitude as of late and how much I have been sacrificing for her. I yelled at her. I feel like crap now, im sad and depressed. She just took our kids out to go eat with some family, she barely said two words to me. When she gets back it will be really late, then we will have a 5 hour drive back home. This was supposed to have been a vacation and has been nothing but a disaster so far.

I cant help but cry as I write this, I feel like she may just not come home, just to hurt me. I felt like I was seeing my son for the last time as she carried him to the car. Im sorry I yelled, but why do I have to bite my tongue all the time and never say how I feel? Why is it that when I get mad I'm a horrible person but its ok for her to lose it at the drop of a hat. What I said was the truth, so why do I feel so bad right now?

Fighting or strife?

James 3:16 King James Version (KJV)

¹⁶For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

Brother I'm curious? what if you would have told her "Honey I love you very much and what you said is not truthful" and walked away and prayed. Do you think the fight would have escalated?

Proverbs 13:10

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁰Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 17:14

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁴ The beginning of strife is like releasing water;

Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.

In other words pride causes strife. Pride is being self centered. It's what she said or did to "ME". Brother the only person you have control over is yourself. You can't control how your wife treats you but you can definitely control the way you react. There's a teaching of God's kind of Love through you (self centeredness) by Andrew Wommack that help transform my marriage. http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1055

May God's word bless your marriage.

I KNOW the fight would not have escalated if I had handled it differently. The problem is trying to walk away and calm down first. In the heat of the moment its difficult not to react in anger.

I realize that forgiveness and apologizing are two different things. I feel like I have forgiven her, we are doing alot better now. How am I to forget about it though when I'm worried the same type of conflict might occur again?

Hello RigMedic,

Sometimes when we get in a hardspot all our emotions comes out of our mouth and the need to be right can cause conflict.

Maybe your having some misbeliefs that you need to change in order to get a grip on your emotions...any bitterness?

Hebrews 12:15.

Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.

When we grow and change on inside we also grow and change on outside.

And also sometimes we have a tendancy to do, I'll express love to you in how it makes me feel and when that person doesn't receive it as love then we get offended", different love languages for people.

UnNeeded, Unloved it doesn't mean anything. Learn to communicate Love. Compliments, words of encouragement shows appreciation to people.

just something to think about.

blessings,

desi

[Shiloh62]

I am praying that the Holy Spirit will comfort you and bring you peace. Being single, I can't provide any useful advise on why women act like that ,just pray and ask God for forgiveness for fighting, figuring out whoever was right or wrong probably won't bring you peace, only prayer will.

[Guest bretsky1]

What does the bible say about fighting between spouses? I just had a big argument with my wife. She made me really mad by saying something that was untrue about me, and I called her out on her attitude as of late and how much I have been sacrificing for her. I yelled at her. I feel like crap now, im sad and depressed. She just took our kids out to go eat with some family, she barely said two words to me. When she gets back it will be really late, then we will have a 5 hour drive back home. This was supposed to have been a vacation and has been nothing but a disaster so far.

I cant help but cry as I write this, I feel like she may just not come home, just to hurt me. I felt like I was seeing my son for the last time as she carried him to the car. Im sorry I yelled, but why do I have to bite my tongue all the time and never say how I feel? Why is it that when I get mad I'm a horrible person but its ok for her to lose it at the drop of a hat. What I said was the truth, so why do I feel so bad right now?

Bummer. been there. alot. i dont cry, i just get angry.

[Dotsoav]

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

We are instructed to LOVE our Wife even as CHRIST LOVES the church and gave HIMSELF for it. JESUS gave his life so that we could live and not just live but live an abundant life. GOD wants us as men to LOVE our wives the same way this means we accept the wrong that they do to us no matter how much it hurts just as CHRIST did for us when HE went to the cross for our sake. We are appointed as not only the head of the but also as the Provider, Priest, and Protector so it's our job to make sure they have even if we don't, and if we do have problems with our wives then as the Priest we are to take it to GOD in prayer. We must remember only GOD can change a person's heart.