"Sexy" Fashions . . .

[rejoicevermore]

"Sexy" Fashions . . . What Do Men Think?

by Mike Mathews

How do those "sexy" fashions really affect men? As a man, I'd like to explain.

Frequently I see women poured into tight jeans and short mini-skirts. Others wear revealing blouses, tight sweaters and sheer pants. Women are wearing "sexy" fashions just about everywhere - to work, school and even to church.

But do "sexy" clothes get women what they really want? Are these women striving to be honored, loved and respected by men?

Sometimes when I see women wearing "sexy" outfits, I wonder . . . Maybe she's looking for a boyfriend or hoping she'll attract her future husband? Or, maybe she feels she has to show off parts of her body to compete with other women for her boyfriend or husband's love and attention?

Maybe it's a power rush for some women to know their body caught a man's eye and became the focus of his attention. Maybe turning heads and hearing hoots and wistles is an ego booster for some?

It may be these reasons or others, but the bottom line is this: Dressing in "sexy" clothes will not cause men to honor and respect women. In fact, it actually guarantees women that men will dishonor and disrespect them.

What Triggers Sexual Thoughts in Men?

It's natural to want to dress attractively. But without always being aware of it, women who wear "sexy" clothes are "dressing for sex" -- that is, dressing in ways that set off sexual thoughts in men.

Why do men react this way, and why don't women always realize it? Because men and women are "wired" differently when it comes to the human body. The fact is, it doesn't take much visual stimulus at all for guys to become sexually aroused. The sight of the female body - even just a little bit and even if it's a complete stranger -- can trigger sexual thoughts instantly. This might be difficult for women to understand, but it's absolutely true.

How about women? My female friends tell me that, sure . . . women appreciate handsome, well-built men -- but women are not affected visually in the same intense way that men are. Women for example, find words of love, tenderness and sincere appreciation much more meaningful than physical images of men.

Given these differences, there's no question that "sexy" clothes will get a man's attention. For some women this may seem flattering or fun at first, but ultimately, it's not fulfilling because it won't attract the kind of attention -- or the man -- that a woman really wants. Why? Because it causes men to want to "use" women sexually rather than love them for who they are.

Remember, the sight of a woman's body is so powerful for men, that unless men are well trained and highly disciplined, it's difficult for them to refrain from sexual thoughts. And once these thoughts begin, they can, and frequently do, turn to impure thoughts (ie. "If only we were alone, I'd sure like to . . . ").

These thoughts are called lust, and the clothes women wear can actually trigger these thoughts in a split second. Don't be mistaken, men are responsible for their thoughts, but what women wear -- how women present themselves -- plays a major role. Dressing "sexy" is like sending an invitation to men. Sure, if a man lets his mind run wild with lust when he sees a woman, he's responsible for the thoughts he entertains. But ladies, don't you see that what you wear can be an invitation to temptation?

Why do Men see Women as Sex Objects?

Whether you know it or not, if you dress in revealing clothes, many men will see you as a "sex object." Not only that, but the way you dress can affect how men view other women as well. When women dress in "sexy" clothes, it not only promotes lustful thoughts, but it also encourages men to develop a warped vision of all women -- a view that can cause men to think of and treat all women as sex objects.

Whether it's conscious or unconscious, if you present yourself in a way that is sexually revealing, even in the slightest of ways, many men will want your body for their own sexual pleasure without regard for you as a person. Dressing this way will cause people to think of you as sexually loose. Men you meet will be constantly distracted with sexual temptations and find it hard to ever get to know you as a person. Some will verbally harass you. Others will tell you they love you -- or anything they think you want to hear -- just to get into bed with you. Still others will try to grope -- or even rape you.

Now let me be clear. No matter how a woman is dressed, it's never an excuse for rape or sexual aggression of any kind. Men who commit these acts have committed a sin and a crime. Nothing I'm saying is an excuse or a rationalization for rape or sexual assault. As a man, I'm here to tell you that men must be more disciplined. We must control our thoughts and actions no matter what temptations are presented before us.

But ladies, we need your help. Please don't be misled by women's magazines that say the only thing guys are after is sex. Don't think you've got to dress "sexy" to compete for the "good" guys. That's not true. It's guys who want to use you sexually (either in their minds or in person) that are going to encourage you to dress "sexy."

Good guys are out there and you don't have to show off your body to meet them. Be patient. Deep down inside, guys want to meet and marry girls who are pure, modest and virtuous. And what you wear tells the world a great deal about what you think about yourself. It speaks volumes about what qualities you give high priority to when it comes to relationships.

Do you want men to think of lustful thoughts when they see you? Will that attrack good men?

I know it may seem that good men are few and far between, but they are out there. And remember, the way you dress can help encourage more men to be good and treat women with respect.

Love the You Inside!

Most women want to be loved and respected for who they are inside, not for their looks. Isn't that what you want? Don't you want to be loved by a man who loves you for who you are inside? This kind of man is a sincere, pure-hearted, virtuous man -- a man who's confident, disciplined and committed to you and your relationship.

This is a man with sexual self-control. It's not a man who's looking for quick flings or lusting after every cute girl he sees.

But what role does modesty play? Katherine Kersten, commentator on National Public Radio and chairman of the Center of the American Experiment, wrote:

"But modesty is about something more -- simple fairness. We women demand respect from men, insisting that they value us not for our looks, but for 'who we are.' It is hypocritical to do this, and then dress and act immodestly -- intentionally provoking sexual desire, and signaling our easy openness to it. To act this way is to undermine our own dignity, to treat ourselves as 'sex objects.' Moreover, it is patently unfair, for it means that we are holding men to a higher standard than we hold ourselves."

Finding Lasting Love . . .

If you are seeking lasting love and a life-long marriage that unites mind, soul and body -- the best way to achieve this is by being the kind of person you want your future spouse to be. Think of yourself and your future mate as someone with integrity, a vibrant personality and a strong character. If you develop these qualities and demonstrate them through words, actions and appearance, it will help you attract the same in a spouse.

Many good men are out there -- men with wonderful personalities, men who are respectful, intelligent and looking for a long-term relationship -- men who will be faithful and committed to one wife for life. To find a truly honorable man like this, remember that he'll be attracted to a woman who dresses modestly as a sign of her purity and a sign that she recognizes each person is unique, unrepeatable and created in the image and likeness of God.

By dressing modestly, a woman sends a message to the world -- that every person was created to love and be loved in the purest of ways. Modesty also shows the great reverence we should have for our bodies and our immortal souls -- two sacred gifts that should always be treated with dignity and respect.

If you want a man to respect you, and perhaps eventually fall in love with you, then you must show him that you respect yourself and that you recognize your dignity before God. The best way to show this is through modesty in dress, words, thoughts and actions.

In closing, I want to thank all women who dress modestly. I sincerely appreciate it when a woman makes this extra effort.

I personally know several women who always dress in modest clothes. When I see them, I always try to let them know how much I appreciate their pretty, modest attire. Many of these women are very beautiful, but what makes them even more attractive than physical beauty or fashionable clothes, is the virtue of modesty which glows through their spirit. Their modesty shows thoughtfulness, inner strength and a great respect for others. Modesty also shows a pure heart and a generous desire to save oneself for a spouse (future or current).

Ladies, thank you for your modesty! It really helps us men.

(Now for the big question - What do YOUR clothes say about you?)

[artsylady]

Good thoughts. Agree wholeheartedly.

Most women want to be loved and respected for who they are inside, not for their looks. Isn't that what you want? Don't you want to be loved by a man who loves you for who you are inside? This kind of man is a sincere, pure-hearted, virtuous man -- a man who's confident, disciplined and committed to you and your relationship.

Yeah, that's what women want but they want it NOW, so the sexier clothes get the attention fast. Sadly, patience is not something that is taught to be valuable anymore.

[Guest kitkat]

Well, I'm not going to elaborate on your whole post. I will just say that I dress to please my husband. I do wear jeans and some of the fashions that are in style, but it's because that's what my husband likes to see me dressed in.

You can dress in todays stylish jeans and fashions, be modest about it and still look appealing.

I can't think of any man that doesn't want their wives to dress in a way that pleases them.

I understand and see the point of your post though and I agree with it for the most part.

God bless,

Kat

[hmh]

Unfortunately it seems that modesty is a sign of weakness and nerdyness. When I see a woman (in alot of cases, girls who are barely in their teens) scantly clad, I often wonder is it because she has no personality or is it because she wants attention? I have seen prostitutes who are dressed more modestly than some women. A woman who dresses modestly is, in my opinion, far more attractive than a woman who looks like a tramp. And I'm sure the dress has to do with such "outstanding examples of what women should look and act" like Britany Spears, Jennifer Lopez, and the likes. I may be old fashioned, but I like to see women, and even men, dress with modesty. Baggie pants that hang down to your crotch is disgusting. Wear some decent clothing. :glasses:

[Guest aggiekat]

I think the most "questionable" items I have are shorts that come to mid-thigh and some tank tops. I do have a "stretchy" type sleeveless black top that says "MEOW" in gold dots.

Actually, I wore jeans and T-shirts most of my life. I'm starting to try and wear "adult" clothes now. I never had much fashion sense, so I'm mostly clueless.

Kat

[Guest shiloh357]

I have been made fun of because I avoid the Mall in the warmer months due to the high number of scantily clad women that shop there, and because of the shamless marketting tactics of stores like Victoria's Secret. If I have to go to the mall, I avoid the section of the Mall where that store is located.

It is written, Psalm 101:3

I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.

The only time I go to the mall is if there is a Christmas present I need to buy and I know that it is the only place where that gift can be purchased.

Unfortuntely, women in skimpy clothing also show up at Walmart and other places that I frequent when running errands. I have found it helpful to do my shopping early in the morning at Walmart when most everyone is asleep. It has dual benefits in that, I avoid sinfully clad women, and I don't have to dodge 20 million other people as well. I sort of have the store to myself, which makes my shopping a bit more relaxing.

[irishcowboy]

my wife wears very nice cloths, long skirts, modest tops, tops that have large neck lines she wears a turtleneck or a teeshirt under it. She does wear scrubs, green tops and tan bottoms. She also wears jeans and teeshirts or sweat shirts,

I am currently in the process of making her a skirt, I think it will be really nice when i am done, she is looking forward to it being finished.....

i think the shortest outfit she has is a pair of pants that go between the knee and ankle....

to bring attention back where it should be ( the face ) I fix her hair up, with ribbons and bows and lots of colour in her hair... it is braided, or fixed in many different ways so that it is not always the same, I have even learned to french braid. Teresa's hair is abut to her waste, and very pretty red.

it is pretty bad when you hear some one coming, and you look and see nothing but legs or belly..... not very becoming at all, in fact, it is almost gross, especially when there are belly button rings or studs, it is like the person wants you to stare at their bodies, then they dont want you to comment about it.... skirts so short that they dont dare sit down across from anyone cause then some one would know whether or not they are wearing any skivies *( YUCK)*.... a young lady should not have to try and pull their skirts down to their knees when they are sitting down...

Ladies: please, for my sake and those of the other men around, please dress more modest, longer skirts, higher waste line, higher collar line, longer blouses (to cover the belly and the butt crack ) ..... knee length is good....

men: lets button up our shirts so our hair chest are not hanging out, and we are not showing what we are asking the woment not to show..... let us dress with more relaxed fit jeans and slacks, as to not be trying to advertise what we have or dont have.... ( it has also been said that pants that are tooooo tight damage the male )..

over all, we need to be more conservitivly dressed......

think about this.... if I dress a certain way, and it is not causing me to "SIN" but it causes others to "SIN" then it is a sin......

another way to look at it, is if you dress in a way that if some one makes a comment about your dress, and that comment can be taken as sexual harrassement, then you are not dressing properly.....

if you are advertising your skin, is it for window shopping only???? or are you advertising to sell???

alot of people might look at it as thou it is for sale, not just looking.......

if you are my child or spouse, i want you to dress as you are keeping yourself for just one.... your spouse, or spouse to be.....

shorts?

yes, i do wear shorts, my swim trunks are long, not speedo's..... I do wear shorts when I am working also, and they are almost to my knees..... why i wear shorts while working? well, the few saturdays that i was not planning on working i got a call, and went out in shorts, in the country, and wading thru a blackberry patch, and then later picking blackberries, i did not get a single TICK embeddded, that was the first time i had not had one while out in that area..... so i started wearing shorts thru-out the summer, and have not had another tick attached since..... use to get one a week on the average...... I think if shorts are worn, that they, again, should be long enough that they cover everyting with out having to adjust....

PLEASE, for the sake of all those around, all of us need to dress better, not just the ladies....

another thing i think is nuts, no good, is shameful, and that is advertising across ones backside.......

if a cheerleader is a cheerleader, every one already knows that by the uniform, why should she have it written across her backside, drawing everyones attention to her posterier.... or some of the other sayins that are plastered across these little girls backsides, like hottie, sexy, yummy, and many other things that are totally unapropriate for young ladies to even be tagged with much less have it advertised that they are for sale......

but then again, we are in an era where baal is being worshipped over God.....

church attendance is at an ALL TIME LOW......

statistics now are saying that there is 1 church building for every 55 people...

makes you wonder how these buildings are staying in business....

mike

[alecia]

Hum.. where to start..

I think some women want to -feel- 'sexy'.. it has a lot to do with self image for some, and not so much how others see them.. that may be part of it too but more how they see themselves. There seems to be this thing with some people where if you cover yourself up, you must be ugly or have low self esteem.. its just, blah.

Ive never been into fasion really.. I dont care for it.. I mainly wear painters pants and sweaters or baggy pullovers.. t-shirts.. mock turtles.. whatever.

If its clean, functional, covers me and isnt a hassle..

Though im a LOT more conservative than I used to be.. it used to be ripped denim, leathers, chains and spikes.. Anyways..

I think some women and girls just want to look 'good'.. in such a way that it shows off and accentuates how they look physically.. but Ive never done it quite the same so, I dunno..

[Guest The Chief]

My wife (Papasangel) dresses VERY conservatively (long caped dresses). Years ago she was into jeans and such, but after joining with our current church, she has foregone the jeans and "more stylish" clothing to the more modest dress of the church. She is quite happy with her dresses (she says they help her be herself, instead of a fashion bug) and seeing as she makes her own clothing, it also instills a sense of accomplishment in the creation of a nice piece of clothing from a bolt of beautiful cloth. She's happy, I like the fact that she's happy, and one of my daughters (a lovely young lady in her own right) now wants to emulate Mom and make her own modest clothing.

[Botz]

I think Believers soon get to understand what is a reasonable way to dress.

Ephesians 2:1 You were made alive when you were dead in transgressions and sins,

Eph 2:2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the powers of the air, the spirit who now works in the children of disobedience;

Eph 2:3 among whom we also all once lived in the lust of our flesh, doing the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.

A taking it to the extreme would be to always dress in black or drab colors.