The real fatal blow to the family

[wingnut-]

Well I knew that was coming Just because we don't see eye to eye does not make me a legalist. We are saved by grace through Jesus Christ our Lord, no amount of good deeds or works will save us, just Gods amazing grace.

Then you shouldn't be calling re-married people's status into question at all. I ask the question, because every post sounds like legalism.

And I have to say that since you have come here, I almost always agree with you, but you totally lost me with this thread. It isn't like you. At all.

I generally agree with you as well, so I think maybe we're just not reading each other right. I am not calling those who have re-married into question, each individual has to weigh their own personal situation out for themselves. If God has given you peace on the matter then that is all that matters. I guess I'm not stating my case clearly enough because this honestly was not the direction I intended for this thread. I will take into consideration what you're saying, I am not claiming to be right on my opinions. I have debated about broaching this subject for several years, and the reason I did now is largely related to recent threads I've read.

To me, marriage was sacred, a vow with God. I suffered for years under mental and physical abuse, and there were two reasons for that, my vow to God, and my daughter. I finally came to a place where I realized it was better to remove myself from that situation than stay and have my daughter grow up thinking this was normal or acceptable. From what I have seen most divorces happen for no good reason at all, someone just decides they are not happy and it's over, this is precisely the line I was given. No real reason, just I'm not happy, and poof, everything I worked for was gone. The ink on the divorce wasn't even dry before she remarried, inside the very church we had once attended together. Perhaps this information will give some insight to why I have issues with this topic.

I very much appreciate hearing you say that I am justified in that, but I don't see that aligning with scripture. I will try to look into this more, but I'm limited now to just a phone, so research is not easy at the moment.

[wingnut-]

Hey guys -

Would you take a look at this video I posted a couple days ago? Pariticularly, I would like for you all to hear the words of the opening preacher.

Yes, sexual sin within the church is a problem - but is that the disease? Or is it symptoms of the disease?

Thanks nebula, I enjoyed the video.

[wingnut-]

I don't see wing's point being that divorced individuals shouldn't be forgiven, taken into the church, etc. What he is saying is that if we are going to look at what is the greatest threat to family unity it isn't homosexuals wanting to marry (right or wrong is not the point of this thread), the divorce rate is a much bigger threat. More than that, it is large among people who self report as Christians. Perhaps that is something that should be dealt with with at least as much rigor and outcry as you see people responding to homosexuality with.

Yes bary, that was the idea of the thread

[wingnut-]

You did not answer the question.

Sorry about that, I somehow lost a section, operating from the phone I sometimes lose my post and have to start over. I don't think God punishes us, but at the same time that does not dismiss consequences. Clearly we all make bad choices at times in our lives, God will always forgive us, but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences does it?

[wingnut-]

I want to clarify what the point of the OP is. This is in no way a thread intended to point a finger at anyone or condemn anyone on this board. I don't think anyone who frequents this forum took their marriage or (if applicable) divorce lightly. I know from personal experience that sensitive matters like this are not arrived at easily for a believer. It involves a lot of pain, a lot of tears, and a lot of prayer for many of us.

What I am trying to get at, is why this has become so prevalent inside the church, and how do we change that. I don't believe anyone should be exposed to abuse, nor do I advocate staying in such a situation. The question at hand is more about how the family unit was fractured. Maybe my surroundings are different, because the divorces I see taking place are not legitimate reasons. People are divorcing more about financial reasons and materialism than anything else, and the church doesn't care at all, in fact, they don't even ask questions at all, divorce has become almost expected. The popular opinion now seems to be, if it doesn't work out, just get a divorce.

The comparison to homosexuality is comparable in my opinion, because both are sexual sins. The church is up in arms about one and fails to address the other.

[Adaeze]

But what about physical, emotional, and sexual abuse? There are times when walking away from a marriage is the safe thing to do. And then, after the man or woman walks away from the abusive marriage, is it a crime if they find someone they love and then they want to marry again?

[ayin jade]

And then, after the man or woman walks away from the abusive marriage, is it a crime if they find someone they love and then they want to marry again?

According to the bible, it is a sin.

[Adaeze]

And then, after the man or woman walks away from the abusive marriage, is it a crime if they find someone they love and then they want to marry again?

According to the bible, it is a sin.

To me personally I cannot accept that. I know people who have been in awful abusive marriages, including one where the guy left a friend of mine with a traumatic brain injury that still troubles her today.

I think, if there was ever any sin involved, the blame would be upon the abuser in that case. He's the one that defiles the marriage by choosing to hurt his wife.

Edited March 29, 2013 by Adaeze

[wingnut-]

But what about physical, emotional, and sexual abuse? There are times when walking away from a marriage is the safe thing to do. And then, after the man or woman walks away from the abusive marriage, is it a crime if they find someone they love and then they want to marry again?

I don't think anyone should stay in an abusive situation, nor do I think divorce is a sin in itself. Your example is too vague to speculate on, are they Christians, is just the abused a Christian, are neither of them? Given the basics, it's hard to think an abuser could be a Christian, but only God knows the heart. In your example you pretty much strike right at the heart of what I once struggled with, I think each person must look to The Lord for their answer.

[Sevenseas]

I want to clarify what the point of the OP is. This is in no way a thread intended to point a finger at anyone or condemn anyone on this board. I don't think anyone who frequents this forum took their marriage or (if applicable) divorce lightly. I know from personal experience that sensitive matters like this are not arrived at easily for a believer. It involves a lot of pain, a lot of tears, and a lot of prayer for many of us.

What I am trying to get at, is why this has become so prevalent inside the church, and how do we change that. I don't believe anyone should be exposed to abuse, nor do I advocate staying in such a situation. The question at hand is more about how the family unit was fractured. Maybe my surroundings are different, because the divorces I see taking place are not legitimate reasons. People are divorcing more about financial reasons and materialism than anything else, and the church doesn't care at all, in fact, they don't even ask questions at all, divorce has become almost expected. The popular opinion now seems to be, if it doesn't work out, just get a divorce.

The comparison to homosexuality is comparable in my opinion, because both are sexual sins. The church is up in arms about one and fails to address the other.

I am a little puzzled with your comparison to homosexuality. Adultery or fornication is sexual sin. Divorce is not a sexual sin. Do you see what I mean?

I'm trying to understand why you are comparing two very different things? Or do I not quite understand...I did read the thread and I see you have struggled with an explanation...I'm sorry. I'm still a

little foggy trying to follow.....

I will say straight off though, that I do not think you can compare homsexuality to other sexual sin as one is an abomination even though both are sin.