Why single Christians are having sex

[back2thebible]

you do realize its also a heart issue as well people who really seek God out and love Him will take His commands against premartail sex more seriously and not play lets see how far I can go before I am sinning. Its really comes down to a heart attutide because honestly lecturing people to not have sex before marriage doesnt really work. people are gonna do what they are gonna do its sad to say. we can hope to model a Godly life and encourage and influence others in Godly living and pray for them but its gonna be there choice to live in the flesh or the Spirit.

and I say you could take the most sincere virgin, with a heart for God, and if you daily fed his or her mind with what young people watch on TV today, it would not matter how sincere and dedicated to God they once were, they will go with what their minds have been fed

[OneLight]

Our flesh is in constant battle with the spirit. The winner is the one who is well fed, and the looser will be the one who is less fed. Feed the spirit with His words and it will become stronger.

[RejectedStone]

I think the article raises a good point about the average marriage age being different then it was in biblical times.

Let's face it, a 20 year old college student with raging hormones faces a very, very, difficult battle.

[CaliforniaJosiah]

I believe the problem is that teaching and preaching abstinence needs to go beyond: "Don't have sex."

They need to do a better job teaching the problems and consequences of premarital sex and the advantages of waiting.

They also need to present different ways couples can guard themselves against falling into the "oops" moment. For example, as I shared in a different thread, my fiance and I did not kiss on the lips while we were in the "dating/courting" phase of our relationship, and we discovered that in itself was a guard against us caving into temptation to go further. We also were open with each other about what stimulated us and would cease whatever we were doing; thus we guarded each other.

I agree....

The "just say no cuz...." thing doesn't work very well.

And it USE to be girls had reasons to put up a stop sign: she's the one who got pregnant, she was often the one who wanted marriage. Both of these are gone. Birth control works, abortions are free and easy. Women seem to be no more committed to the idea of marriage than guys are.

There needs to be a MORALITY here, an ETHIC. IMO, it has to do with RESPECT: of self, of others, of sex, of marriage.

I'm 25 and a virgin. I was first strongly "encouraged" when I was 14 - and many times since. I realized then - and now - it very likely would not result in a child and would be a whole lot of fun. The "just say no" thing frankly doesn't loom so overwhelmingly. There needs to be an internal, personal reason. One that has nothing to do with docilic obedience or fear.

All this was much easier when I was high school age: many girls were virgins, too. Many respected the idea of "wait" (a STUPID concept that doens't work at all)....

Now, at 25, it's just part of dating. And to be a virgin is..... WEIRD (for a guy anyway) and suggests something is...... wrong, Biologically perhaps but probably socially and psychologically - or maybe, he just is really bad at it and is lying about being a virgin. I do NOT bring this up (nor do I except the girl to be a virgin).... I just don't bring it up. But she will Usually, by means of making it obvious it is what she wants and expects. All this happens amazingly early. Explaining my position is not easy - and MAY be viewed as "he's one WEIRD dude!" in which case, it's probably good the relation ends (in that sense) anyway; values are critical to a relationship. Occasionally, the girl (virgin or not) respects this. They may want to continue the relationship - but usually, not (even if they do really respect my position).

I've found no significant difference between Christian and non-Christian in this sense. It seems to be FAR more related to what I'd call "traditional" or "modern" in terms of their sense of marriage/family, their social philosophy. Girls who are close to their families, who have two happy married parents, who just think "long term" - they seem to be ok with this REGARDLESS of their religious views. Those focused a lot on the physical just fine me..... frustrating.

.

[desi2007]

I believe the culture we live in speaks

...loudly about christians having sex

...outside of marriage.

Paul talks about sexual immorality

...to flee from temptation.

1 corinthians 6: 16-18

If a person could decide head of time

...what will this look like if I do this

...how is this going to honor God

....questions to ask before going down

...that path.

[Guest shiloh357]

I am a virgin and am middle aged and the way i have stayed abstinent is by appropriating the fulfillment I have in Christ. He makes me whole and brings fulfillment down to the very core of my being. All of my primary needs have been met and so I don't seek to have those needs met in a woman. The wife fulfills her husbands secondary needs, but God meets the primary needs. When the primary needs are met by God, the secondary needs can wait. There is no desperation, no burning. Abstinence is easy-peesy when you find your wholeness in Christ.

[JTC]

I guess we shouldn't find this very surprising.

What I found surprising was in some of the comments below the article. Some of those people don't think the Bible says anything about sex before marriage being a sin. And others thought maybe it does, but it's unclear on this topic.

The Bible does say sex outside marriage is a sin, but apparently a majority of our young people either don't really know this, or if they do, they don't care. But I'm glad you provided this link Nebula. We adults need to wake up to what our young people are doing and believing.

[Guest shiloh357]

I guess we shouldn't find this very surprising.

What I found surprising was in some of the comments below the article. Some of those people don't think the Bible says anything about sex before marriage being a sin. And others thought maybe it does, but it's unclear on this topic.

The Bible does say sex outside marriage is a sin, but apparently a majority of our young people either don't really know this, or if they do, they don't care. But I'm glad you provided this link Nebula. We adults need to wake up to what our young people are doing and believing.

What happens is that people try to find a legal loophole because the Bible doesn't use the term "pre-marital sex." What they don't understand is that the Bible doesn't list every possible sin a person can commit. The Bible's laws are a set of behavioral paradigms. They give us enough light that we can judge actions and behaviors that are not directly mentioned in the text. We are commanded not to make graven images, but does that mean that an image drawn on paper is okay? The medium is irrelevant. The point is not to make any images of pagan deities.

The Bible says enough about sexual purity that we dont' need a verse that specifically references "pre-marital sex." The Bible mentions sex outside of marriage as a sin (homosexuality, adultery, prostitution, etc. Mary and Joseph were suspected of having sex prior to being officially married and they were shunned the rest of their lives. Even Jesus was accused of being an illegitmate child.

[Leonard]

In times past the typical boy of 7 or 9 years of age was apprenticed out to a master craftsman to learn a trade. By the time he hit puberty at 14 or 15 (much younger these days!) He was himself a master craftsman, and able to be a provider for wife and children.

With out idiotic 'child labor laws' of today, No kid is ready to make his way in the world until he's at least 18; realistically--since so many young men are still dealing with adolescence issues even into their 30's--let's say 22 on the average.

As you can see, our society by trying to be 'compassionate' and not let kids be apprenticed out at young ages, has really sown the seeds of its own destruction: We are asking kids who enter into puberty at 10-12 years of age to wait 10-12 years to fulfill their god-given sexual desires! This can never, ever work!

Every Christian family needs to prepare their young sons to become productive breadwinners as early as possible.

[ayin jade]

Studies have shown that the brain is not fully developed until they hit the age of 21. The part that isnt fully developed is the one that allows them to comprehend that a certain action produces certain other long term consequences. So they tend to not think things through. I personally do not think that anyone that young should ever marry. Ever.