I don't seem to fit in with the Body

[LadyKay]

I've been a believer for about 15 years now. During that time, I've always tried hard to be involved in a church family. In the first few years, it seemed easy, but within the past decade it has been very difficult, getting harder all the time. We moved to our current city three years ago, and in that time we seriously have not been able to find a church we like. People are very nice and the sermons/worship are okay, but none of them seem to have any "oomph."

 

But really, the churches themselves are not what disturbs me. I've noticed a change among Christians in general. The ones I see in daily life, on facebook, at work, in my family... it seems they've all gone downhill. They never discuss the Bible unless it's to call someone a hypocrite. They seem more concerned about being popular and being liked by sinners, and they're scared to death of being seen as judgmental. Many of them are just shallow and vapid. They post photos of themselves drinking shots at a club in skimpy outfits - stuff that's so tacky even my nonbelieving friends have more class than that.

 

I watch people flounder in sinful lifestyles, going further into drug abuse, losing their marriages and their children, and no one steps in. If you say anything, you have 'Christians' coming out of woodwork to parrot some blather about thou shalt not judge. They're not around when you need help or advice, but they're johnny-on-the-spot when they see a chance to jump on you. I just don't get it.

 

It struck me tonight when I was chatting with a close friend who doesn't believe. I realized I would rather talk to him than most of the believers I know, and that really hurt me. I realized he had more class and self-control than some of my believer friends. And I realized I couldn't trust many of my believing friends to help me witness to him because I would be embarrassed to admit I know them.

 

I feel alone. I feel like I'm being bullied by the very people I should count on. Is there something wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? 

I think in the reality of things is that there are really very few true Christians. Lots of people believe in God, lots of people attend church to feel good about themselves or to look good for others, but in reality. Very few people are true followers of Christ. I am sorry I have no advice for you. But I understand fully what you are saying.

[LadyKay]

a good start would be to print out that post and give it to your pastor in a one on one private place and ask him for some insight on how to deal with it.

 

you might try a Nazarene church.  while i don't agree with everything the church teaches it's the closest I've found, and I'd be shocked if you find these kinds of problems there.

I have attend a Nazarene church and have done so since I was a little kid. If you have any questions about the Nazarene church I maybe able to help. The one I attend now is very small.

[YeshuasPrincess]

I can fully relate to what your going through . I myself have been in Australia for 4 years trying to share Jesus Christ with the lost and they laugh at me scoff and even some pastors have said i should not teach the Return of Jesus for it might cause them to leave the church ?? GET REAL ! i have had it too with the luke - warm church and Yes this is going to get worse We are in the Last Days These are the Days of Noah and Lott , lovers of themselves , as you mentioned and Yes you are even seeing the " elect of God walking away from the Lord , Compromising with Gods word , from the Pagan lifstyles and Holidays to the Rutual lifstyles of the so called " religious "   The Problem is People ( unsaved ) seem to think good deeds and going to church will get them into heaven , or reading their bible will get them to heaven or giving money to the poor , IT is only by the Blood of Jesus We are Saved , So many want to hold onto their I pads , I phones , twitter , Facebook , all those little " idols " but when you share the WORD of GOD on what Jesus said about " I WILL HAVE NO IDOLS BEFORE ME ! " they shrug it off like " oh Well i dont think Jesus will mind " they are being turned over to a Reprobate mind " they want the world and GOD their cake and eat it too Jesus said YOU SHALL NOT SERVE GOD AND MAMMON , ( money ) but this includes the SINS of the World , the drug, rock and roll rasing hell as they lift high the horned hand " hail to the Goat of Mendes this is Satan PEOPLE !     I am in the same position and i am 49 ! i cant even share about His soon return to my husband that claims to be Christian but when i tell him about Jesus Return he gats ticked off and yells " WHAT ABOUT THIS HOUSE ITS NOT FINISHED " do you see where i am coming from .    You have the ability now that you are some of the RARE SAINTS WITH EYES and OPEN TO THE HOLY SPIRITS LEADING to tell others about Jesus . Just know not EVERYone will listen , you will be laughed at mocked or even counted out , i have ! but then would you rather have Some Christians that follow the WORD of GOD without Compromise or  RUN with the REST of them as they play in the Devils Play pen !    Jesu was mocked and scoffed at , He felt very alone at times too , So count it a blessing YOUR EYES ARE WIDE OPEN . Every time i try to tell my brothers in sister about things of the world they get ticked off and mad at me . But rather i tell them the Truth then feed them a lie that Satan already dangels in front of them  the pleasures of this world ....  God bless and Shalom  your NOT alone ... if you dont feel like part of the body of Christ , thats cause YOU know the TRUTH that THE HOLY SPIRIT has shown u This is a GIFT of Discernement of Spirits ! Praise God and smile your on the Narrow road for Jesus not at the side of the wide road of Distruction

Your sister in Jesus Deborah leah

[pg4Him]

Hi Deborah,

 

I know what you mean about Christians telling you to only witness a certain way. There is a culture of bullying inside the church itself that seems determined to attack the more 'conservative' Christians (I mean conservative like modest, not like politics).

[Fez]

I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I would say that you are doing things right. Remember, Jesus had only a hand full of believers that truly followed Him, and He is God.

I'm with OneLight on this. You are not doing anything wrong (as far as what you have posted here). 

 

You say you have a non believer friend you would rather hang out with? Have you tried hanging out with your christian friends and working to change their attitude? I know this is difficult, but we are called to be the light on the hill. In other words everywhere.

 

Also otherone's suggestion that you print this out and ask your pastor for advice is excellent advice!

[pg4Him]

Hi Fez,

 

The inability to witness to church goers is the biggest thing that frustrates me. I have atheist friends who are more tolerant and open-minded than these folks. They go out of their way to appear secular, but then on Sunday they're in church, so they think they don't need any witnessing. It leads a person to have a very closed mind.

[Willa]

Perhaps it is not everyone else that is changing. Perhaps those of you who are having problems with carnal christians are growing in the grace of the Lord and you are becoming more Christ like. God is calling you to seperate yourself to Him. It is hard to love the ones who criticize us and mock us but that is what we are called to do. We are to be a blessing to them, to overcome evil with good, and to pray for them. And it may get worse as just by your life style, your love and the grace you show them, they feel condemned.

Perhaps you are called to witness to unbelievers and God is moving you toward them by making you uncomfortable in your church.. I don't know.

I am glad some of you have found good Nazarene churches. Many have left our local Nazarene church because it has become liberal and joined the emerging church movement!!. I have been told this by several who left it for that reason. So each must be weighed on its own merit.

I always look for a church that preaches straight from the Bible, going through a book in depth in an expository style and sometimes taking a year to cover it. These churches value the Bible as being verbally inspired by God, inerrant in the original tongue and infallible. That doesn't guarentee that the church is alive and growing in the grace of the Lord. But it is more apt to be because God's Word does not come back void.

Rather than the Catholic Church, the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod has a beautiful ritual and is conservative in doctrine. You still need to search for one that is alive. But you would not be required to bow down to images and pray to them, or to pray to the dead saints in place of Jesus. Nor does it consider legends (traditions) a basis for doctrine.

As Ayin Jade suggested, the Messianic Jews, who are born again Christians, also have a beautiful ritual and it is the one that Jesus practiced. You will find that most Jews who have discovered their Savior are very excited about their faith which is suddenly full of meaning. Look for one that does not require you to observe Old Testament law, though. That should be a choice. We who follow the Holy Spirit and live by faith are not bound by the requirements of the law. We avoid sin by seaking God's face and following the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Above all, pray and ask God to lead you to a good church. This has led us across 5 different denominations over 60 years time. But we have grown in each as we held on the the truth that we found in each but discarded the things that are not as bibical.

Blessings,

Willa

[Guest Butero]

I've been a believer for about 15 years now. During that time, I've always tried hard to be involved in a church family. In the first few years, it seemed easy, but within the past decade it has been very difficult, getting harder all the time. We moved to our current city three years ago, and in that time we seriously have not been able to find a church we like. People are very nice and the sermons/worship are okay, but none of them seem to have any "oomph."

 

But really, the churches themselves are not what disturbs me. I've noticed a change among Christians in general. The ones I see in daily life, on facebook, at work, in my family... it seems they've all gone downhill. They never discuss the Bible unless it's to call someone a hypocrite. They seem more concerned about being popular and being liked by sinners, and they're scared to death of being seen as judgmental. Many of them are just shallow and vapid. They post photos of themselves drinking shots at a club in skimpy outfits - stuff that's so tacky even my nonbelieving friends have more class than that.

 

I watch people flounder in sinful lifestyles, going further into drug abuse, losing their marriages and their children, and no one steps in. If you say anything, you have 'Christians' coming out of woodwork to parrot some blather about thou shalt not judge. They're not around when you need help or advice, but they're johnny-on-the-spot when they see a chance to jump on you. I just don't get it.

 

It struck me tonight when I was chatting with a close friend who doesn't believe. I realized I would rather talk to him than most of the believers I know, and that really hurt me. I realized he had more class and self-control than some of my believer friends. And I realized I couldn't trust many of my believing friends to help me witness to him because I would be embarrassed to admit I know them.

 

I feel alone. I feel like I'm being bullied by the very people I should count on. Is there something wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? 

Those are all good points, and most of us could be a better witness than we are, if we were honest with ourselves.  Basically what you are describing is lukewarmness in the church.  It is very common today. 

[pg4Him]

I'm absolutely sure that I have room for growth in my own life as a witness. I want to make sure I stay in a patient/graceful state of mind and don't become resentful. I will continue to look for a church with a hungry, devoted congregation, wherever it may be. Yesterday I used Skype to study Scripture with someone in another state, and we had a great time. The Lord has also led me to join a home study group with a coworker. These things don't replace a good church, but they are better than me sitting around doing nothing.

 

Willamina, I came from a very secular background when I got saved. I do always tend to make friends with unbelievers faster than other Christians, which sometimes I wonder is a blessing or me doing something wrong. God just seems to give me favor with people. 

[Guest AFlameOfFire]

 

I've been a believer for about 15 years now. During that time, I've always tried hard to be involved in a church family. In the first few years, it seemed easy, but within the past decade it has been very difficult, getting harder all the time. We moved to our current city three years ago, and in that time we seriously have not been able to find a church we like. People are very nice and the sermons/worship are okay, but none of them seem to have any "oomph."

 

But really, the churches themselves are not what disturbs me. I've noticed a change among Christians in general. The ones I see in daily life, on facebook, at work, in my family... it seems they've all gone downhill. They never discuss the Bible unless it's to call someone a hypocrite. They seem more concerned about being popular and being liked by sinners, and they're scared to death of being seen as judgmental. Many of them are just shallow and vapid. They post photos of themselves drinking shots at a club in skimpy outfits - stuff that's so tacky even my nonbelieving friends have more class than that.

 

I watch people flounder in sinful lifestyles, going further into drug abuse, losing their marriages and their children, and no one steps in. If you say anything, you have 'Christians' coming out of woodwork to parrot some blather about thou shalt not judge. They're not around when you need help or advice, but they're johnny-on-the-spot when they see a chance to jump on you. I just don't get it.

 

It struck me tonight when I was chatting with a close friend who doesn't believe. I realized I would rather talk to him than most of the believers I know, and that really hurt me. I realized he had more class and self-control than some of my believer friends. And I realized I couldn't trust many of my believing friends to help me witness to him because I would be embarrassed to admit I know them.

 

I feel alone. I feel like I'm being bullied by the very people I should count on. Is there something wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? 

Change your opening sentence to read "I've been a believer for about 25 years now" and leave everything else that you said intact and you've basically described my life.  If there's something wrong with you, then I caught it about 10 years before you did.

 

 

 

Ditto.

 

Yep, and we have been believers the same amount of time bro, and I acknowledge feeling quite the same on a few of those things too.

 

And you sent me the link to this thread after I had sighed in your ear about something similar.

 

I just wanted to acknowledge so much. I do become momentarily disillusioned at times, although I'm not convinced of throwing wound licking parties.  

 

We know how that often goes, hey, looky, my bruise (its bigger then yours)...

 

Another glass of whine, will you join me?

 

(As the tray of bitter roots make their way around the room) lol

 

For me (I think) maybe its best to just make the headcount, and pretty much shut my trap, as a woman.

 

Take up knitting or something (?) I dunno...