I Didn't Mean To Blackmail My (Ex)Girlfriend With Religion

[kool_kid_86]

Living forever is like being locked up in a minimum security prison. Sure there are things to do in the prison, but after a while everything will become dull and boring as you will run out of things that are fun as you have done everything already.

 

I do want to know God, as it makes life much easier. Christianity adds purpose to your life, guides you, and God is like an invisible friend that will always talk to you if you listen.

 

My problem is that if I do believe in Jesus, then I will receive eternal life in heaven which is something I am uncomfortable with. My life is already not very great. I have great friends, great job, but I still feel lonely.

 

A year ago, I met this great Christian girl and we became real great friends. 7 weeks ago, we decided to go out. Things are going great but we broke up for personal reasons and because I am an atheist and she is not convinced that I am able to become a dedicated Christian but I know in my heart that I am able to because know I found someone that I truly cared about and I want to spend eternity just making her happy.

 

We decided to take a break so I can work out my personal issues before we take another stab at our relationship. I understand that Christianity is extremely important to her and her parents, and I do want to become a Christian too. I told her that during this time I will continue to read the bible and go to Church, but I will not convert to Christianity. In fact, only she will be able to bring me over to Christ. My reason being is that I absolutely trust her, and that I only want eternal life if she is by my side. She took it as blackmail and was very unhappy with what I said.

 

A bit of background information on me: My girlfriend (well, now ex) and I are both 27. I grew up in a Christian household (both my parents are Christian as well as many of my relatives). I did attend Church when I was young, but had a negative experience there so I only went to church until I was 14. I have had many un-coincidental incidents involving God (I would pray for something expecting for it to not come true but it does), which makes me think that God does answer my prayers and therefore must exist!

 

I guess my point is that:

1. I am afraid of eternal life as my current life is very lonely. I definitely do not want to spend eternity lonely. I however believe the teachings of Christianity, and I do value the perks you get from being a Christian.
2. I found a wonderful Christian girl and we both care for each other deeply. She however only wants to merry a Christian even though she has deep feelings for me.
3. I told her that I will only be a Christian if she was at my side. She felt that I am trying to blackmail her, which is not my intention. My logic for saying this is because I only want to spend my eternal life with her, otherwise I would feel miserable (as I currently feel miserable as she is not by my side during our break).
4. I have not told her my explanation for my decision yet because we are currently on a break, and I was afraid it would make matters worse.

What do you think of how I am approaching this relationship? I understand that it is ideal to put religion before a girlfriend, but for me I want to this particular girl to be with me otherwise eternal life will become a torture without her.

[ayin jade]

You become a Christian by turning to Jesus, not by changing to please a girlfriend. If you change just so you can marry her, the change is likely not heartfelt. A Christian in name only, not in fact. 

 

Seek the Lord.

[OakWood]

1/ You will not be lonely in eternal life. It is nothing like this life.

2/ Jesus will come to you if you ask.

3/ Jesus has a plan for you. Choose him for yourself, not for your girlfriend.

4/ A break is wise at this stage.

[1x1is1]

Seek to spend eternity with Jesus, not a future wife.  Don't sell the Lord short on keeping you amazed in Heaven or here on earth.  Do be grateful that you are able to detect that there is work to be done in this relationship. Now is the time to address it, so it can start of right with the Lord behind you.  GBU

[Fez]

Living forever is like being locked up in a minimum security prison. Sure there are things to do in the prison, but after a while everything will become dull and boring as you will run out of things that are fun as you have done everything already.

 

Heaven is a place of no sickness, no fear, no anxiety, no hunger, greed or strife. It is a place of perfect peace and Love shared with your creator, the God of Love and Light. Your ex gets this and wants to share this amazing feeling of freedom and expectation of heaven on earth, and when you are eventually in heaven, with someone who feels the same way. Can you blame her?

 

The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked in our relationship, and that is what she is doing.

 

Now tell me, what do you think the alternative to living forever may be?

[tigger398]

1/ You will not be lonely in eternal life. It is nothing like this life.

2/ Jesus will come to you if you ask.

3/ Jesus has a plan for you. Choose him for yourself, not for your girlfriend.

4/ A break is wise at this stage.

 

[tigger398]

I want to add. Jesus is not a religion, but a relationship

[gigman7]

I want to add. Jesus is not a religion, but a relationship

That is correct.

 

You can't become a Christian if you are an atheist. Meaning, "while you are an atheist". You first must believe that Jesus is real and will save you.

 

Also, you don't just decide to become a Christian. Jesus calls on you first.

[digitalinchrist]

I thought that too at one time. Being saved is the difference. But off the top of my head here's what I think. No one cares about time when they are having fun. Being in the presence of God might be like a high you never come down from. Like that temporary bliss of sexual orgasm forever. Except in heaven its not neurotransmitters in your brain firing. Its beyond physics and physical reality.

 

John 4:7-14 "

⁷ There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink.

⁸ (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.)

⁹ Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.

¹⁰ Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.

¹¹ The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water?

¹² Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle?

¹³ Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:

¹⁴ But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."

[kool_kid_86]

I don't think you are an atheist, but simply a person that has reasons for not becoming a Christian. 

 

 

 

I think you are right. I took my time yesterday to reflect and I think I am scared of being a Christian. A lot of my friends are atheist and I guess I am afraid of how they will view me if they find out I convert to Christianity. My two closest guy friends (one who was Christian) think that religion causes much more harm then good. My first two girlfriends (my most recent being my third) are both against religion. I guess I am heavily influenced by the people around me. To me, I find safety in the fact that my third girlfriend would have been there to guide me into the faith and to stick to my side even when I am at my worse.