Need a little advice from good people...

[zolkos]

Dear friends,

 

After I lost my job several years ago I really struggle mentally and financially. My wife kills my soul every single minute of my life. I feel like I am falling apart. Anyone in difficult time needs a hand, someone to comfort you, someone who could talk to but all I got is screaming, blaming me for everything, putting me down from the moment I open my eyes every morning, whole day under attracts, every day under huge pressure. It is very hard to move on, to concentrate on anything, loosing self-confidence and ground below my feet. I can't even describe my average day. It is a hell.

 

I have two talented boys [one is really talented soccer player], very sick father and completely broken marriage, feel very, very unhappy. Every day I live in stress and depression. I desperately need some friendly people to help me a little bit with a good word, with some advise. *edited*

 Before I left the States I worked in NYC for almost 10 years. in 2003 I decided to move to Europe to stay with my sick parents but I did not expect that my financial situation would turn upside down. Unfortunately I can't go back to the States anytime soon. I need to be near my parents to help them and at the same time I need to do something to make any money. I feel like the whole world turned away from to me. I tried to contacts so many people around the world, sending info about myself, about things I can do, about my skills and experience but ended up with nothing, no one cares, absolutely no one..

 

What else I can say..I would be very happy to get in touch with some good people out there. I still believe they are somewhere over there.

 

Pawel

Edited January 1, 2015 by ncn
Please be careful in your wording , soliciting is against the terms of service

[other one]

I don't know where you are, but if you were in Oklahoma I'd ask you go to to a good employment office and get them to find you a job that you are qualified for.....   around here good jobs are rarely advertised, and few good companies actually interview people before they are screened at the employment agencies.

 

The longer you are out of a job here, the more difficult it is go get something decent.

 

 

Putting myself in your position, I could not fix your problem without getting a job first.   To start with you may have to just take anything to build up a good work history.

[ncn]

Praying. 

[OneLight]

I am not sure how the employment opportunities are where you live, but any job is better than no job, even if it is a part time or day job.  If you are doing what you can to better your situation, nobody can expect you to do more.  Who you are in Christ is what matters.  Praying.

[Littlelambseativy]

Though difficult for you and your children, would your wife consider going back to the States to her parents and if not, why does she not get a job if it is easier for her to find one. Many women work to support family. You did not mention your skills, but is there anyway to take a job that may be beneath what you are talented for just so that you can bring in some money?

About your wife and you... The Bible says a house divided cannot stand..it is not easy for you to have someone constantly on you and tearing you down. Is she a Christian? If she is she needs to read what the Bible says about a wife's role in supporting her husband.

Pray without ceasing and ask God to open up a way for you to provide for your family. Go to the church and ask if they know of work ..even if it is that of a handy man but it will get you out of the house and making some money...no matter how much. God bless you and may He answer your prayer for work.

[another_poster]

I would like to emphasise the idea that any job is better than none. I took a job that was not suitable for me as a single parent and eight weeks later I found another one that is far more child friendly.  They did ask about my short time in the previous job and I explained it was not suitable for me but I would rather be working. 

 

For the situation with your wife I suggest counselling. This will help get the issues out in the open. Your wifes actions could simply be her expressing frustration. It might be more. Counselling would help find out the real issue and also put in place ways to resolve it or plans to get through those times it gets rough. 

 

I don't know if it would help but I have gone through depression and have written my story which talks about what I found helpful and how others can help a person with depression. Hopefully it also shows that while it may seem like it will never end there is an end. If interested send me a PM and I will email it to you. It is very long (about four pages). I will not be offended if you don't want to read it so only say yes if you do want to. 

[zolkos]

Thank you for all your good words and advises. I will need to sit down and think about my next move. All I know I can't live like that anymore. We tried to find a solution but nothing worked, even counselling. It seems like the only way is divorce. I did not want to do that because of our sons but now I realized that staying together under the same roof is more painful for my sons than living separate after divorce. Divorce is always traumatic experience not only for parents but for kids.

 

Job market is horrible here. No jobs for older than 50 and I am 52 already. On top of that wages are so low over here except really high positions so if you decide to take any, simple job it won't pay for all my bills [3-4 USD per hour]. That's why I am looking for a job in the States which I could do over the internet. Number of people do their job on-line such as data entry, database and website administration, word processing etc. But ii is very hard to find anything if you don't have any contacts over there, very hard. I have even created a simple website to present my skills and experience and I keep sending everywhere I can but no luck so far....

[LemonDrops]

If your wife would be open to it, I would suggest talking to a pastor about your marriage problems before seeking divorce. I'd also suggest finding activities you enjoy to take your mind off the stress of your situation. Whether it be taking up drawing, playing football, reading novels you never had the chance to read etc.. My family has gone through many hard financial situation and problems with relationships and I've definitely found having something else to focus on was the only thing that kept me from getting severely depressed. I wish you the best!

[Guest]

Praying~!