mother in law and money I Could Use Advice On This Matter

[LadyKay]

This has been going on for a number of years now. I have ignored it but now it has recently begin to get under my skin.  Every family gathering, every get together, nearly every phone call or whenever we visit; my mother in law starts going on about how she does not have any money. When we were living at her house she said she had to sell the house cause she can't afford the utility bills. She sold the house and got the full asking price for it and bought paid in full a house that was cheaper in price then the one she sold. Still she is going on about how she has no money. I would go on ignoring this but it has become some what embarrassing and uncomfortable. As she is saying this to everyone anytime we have a family together.  Last week at Thanksgiving my husband's aunt and uncle came over. For some reason my mother in law starts telling them how she paid off one of her credit cards so now she has no money. She then tells them "I may have to sell the house (one she just bought paid and full) and move in with you guys cause I don't have any money." We all kind of laugh it off and don't say anything. Yesterday she gave me a ride to pick up my Jeep at the repair shop and again she was talking about how she does not have any money. I don't know what is going on here. She owns her home, she owns her car, she has food to eat and does not seem to be doing without. I am sleeping on the floor on an air bed in an one bedroom apartment and she is the owner of a three bedroom house and all she talks about it how she does not have any money.  When advice has been giving to her about money she refuses to listen and just keeps on talking about how she does not have any money. I don't know what is going on here. If there is a real money issue or if this is a cause of  "I want more but can't get it." I wonder if I should say something to my husband about it. He knows a little about it but I don't think he knows that she is saying this stuff to other family members. I am really not sure what is going on here but it is becoming uncomfortable to be around. Especially with the holidays coming and family gatherings going on.

[LadyKay]

Quote

After telling God all about this, your husband is the ONLY one you should be telling this to((delete this thread even))

Why do you want me to delete the thread? Isn't this the place to come to when you need advice on something. I'm not using my real name nor the name of my mother in law or any other family member's name. I am not doing this it slander my mother in law. I am seeking advice on a matter that I do not seem to have an understanding on. If this is not the place to do this then I will go else where. And while I do believe that the word of God gives good advice for life issues. I do not think that the verses you have posted fits the issue here.

[*Zion*]

Bless you, LadyKay, I am married too, so I know what it is to feel like you can't tell your husband everything you want to about how your mother-in-law makes you feel.

My advice is to tell him, but pray before you do for wisdom, and for God to give you the words to say to him, as this can be rather delicate.  But he does need to know and you both need to be in agreement in how to handle the matter, under God's divine guidance (which will be different for everyone even though they may find themselves in similar circumstances).

I pray that the Lord also begins to talk to your mother-in-law, for her confession is powerful!  There is the power of life and death in the tongue.  Also, as a man thinks, so is he.  I pray that she will be transformed by the renewing of her mind in the Word of God which is life.  In Jesus' mighty Name!  Amen.

Let me know how it goes, feeling for you hon

Much love and blessings in Christ!

 

[*Zion*]

Don't be discouraged, Lady, I know how you feel.  God gets us through so that we are wiser and stronger through every little and big thing.  You know how we ladies do  Not girl power mind, but God power!  Yay, Jesus!!!

[LadyKay]

34 minutes ago, simplejeff said:

...It is similar ((the same actually)) to what other women have 'advised' other women recently concerning personal situations / requests  - and what is written in Scripture  for who we ((any of us)) are to seek advice from about anything.    

The head of you is your husband.   this is emphasized throughout God's Word.

Even in a church meeting,  woman are directed to ask their husband's at home ((I didn't list that reference, but it is well known)).  ((also older women of the assembly you go to))

i.e. 'practice' what Scripture says , even if you're not used to it - it takes time and is very beneficial.... and Scripture directs God's Way to learn the Truth.

'Here' ((and most all other forums or chat rooms)) , open to the world, both believers and unbelievers,  it's like talking  out loud for all to hear at a public park or in a grocery store, even if you were talking with your own husband there, or pastor, or even the people involved...  but with everyone listening in....   ((and it eventually gets back to everyone involved too - even if it 'seems' anonymous here.... ))

 

So what you are saying is that I should not come here and ever ask for advice about anything. Even though the topic listing is " Have a problem? Looking for advice" section of this form. If I may assure you that if there was any chance of what I posted getting back to my mother in law, I would not be posting it. But since she nor any other family members come to to this form. Nor have I used any names or the name of the town in which I we live, I see no harm coming from me asking for this advice.

[other one]

4 hours ago, LadyKay said:

So what you are saying is that I should not come here and ever ask for advice about anything. Even though the topic listing is " Have a problem? Looking for advice" section of this form. If I may assure you that if there was any chance of what I posted getting back to my mother in law, I would not be posting it. But since she nor any other family members come to to this form. Nor have I used any names or the name of the town in which I we live, I see no harm coming from me asking for this advice.

don't pay any attention to Jeff....     )(*&(%#@%#^)(&)_(_)&%$&$....

 

I think to know about your mother in law, you need to know if she really has a money problem.   I know people who manage to spend every penny they get their hands on and are truly in the position of her.   They are always broke.        Then I know a couple of (Poor me) folks that wouldn't be comfortable with a half million under thier mattress  LoL.   I take it that she will never be content sleeping on an air mattress on the floor.

I'd mention it to your husband in a way that you are concerned about her welfare.   He needs to make sure she's really ok.

[LadyKay]

1 hour ago, other one said:

don't pay any attention to Jeff....     )(*&(%#@%#^)(&)_(_)&%$&$....

 

I think to know about your mother in law, you need to know if she really has a money problem.   I know people who manage to spend every penny they get their hands on and are truly in the position of her.   They are always broke.        Then I know a couple of (Poor me) folks that wouldn't be comfortable with a half million under thier mattress  LoL.   I take it that she will never be content sleeping on an air mattress on the floor.

I'd mention it to your husband in a way that you are concerned about her welfare.   He needs to make sure she's really ok.

Yeah I kind of think so too.  It didn't really start bugging me until she started saying this stuff to other family members. I kind of get the feeling that she is someone who will never be happy no matter what. Losing every thing taught me to be happy in a strange sort of way.

[another_poster]

9 hours ago, LadyKay said:

Yeah I kind of think so too.  It didn't really start bugging me until she started saying this stuff to other family members. I kind of get the feeling that she is someone who will never be happy no matter what. Losing every thing taught me to be happy in a strange sort of way.

I have some relatives who are always crying poor. I know there is no money problem. With some what it really is is that they want a certain lifestyle and they struggle with what they have because of the lifestyle they choose to live. They like things such as going to the theatre (season tickets) and opera as well as memberships to art museums. Another relative wanted to be able to say she had a house designed by an architect. So she wasted money on paying an architect and then didn't have enough money to do all the landscaping she wanted. If she hadn't wasted money on an architect she would have had money to do that and paid off the loan before finishing work.

I find most I know who are struggling don't tend to say much about it.

 

I like the idea of talking to your husband and saying she has been mentioning money problems to several family and you are concerned about her welfare but didn't feel comfortable bringing it up with her. Hopefully your husband will then work out a way to deal with the situation or discuss it with others in the family. Sadly there is no easy way to deal with it.

[Hawkeye]

18 hours ago, LadyKay said:

Why do you want me to delete the thread? Isn't this the place to come to when you need advice on something. I'm not using my real name nor the name of my mother in law or any other family member's name. I am not doing this it slander my mother in law. I am seeking advice on a matter that I do not seem to have an understanding on. If this is not the place to do this then I will go else where. And while I do believe that the word of God gives good advice for life issues. I do not think that the verses you have posted fits the issue here.

Don't let jeff get to you........ just ignore him.

As far as whether or not the poor is the issue, just talk to them? I mean, share your concern and such.

[*Zion*]

Yes, Lady, I have learned the hard way about Jeff.  Do let us know how things are getting on