When the Church Won’t Let Kids In...

[The_Patriot21]

no problem.

[Qnts2]

Let me just say that society in the U.S. has changed.

Forgetting the church service for now, there was a time not that long ago when parents would not bring babies or young children to an expensive restaurant knowing the fellow patrons might be disturbed. In a not so expensive restaurant, there was a time when young children were not allowed to make a fuss, be noisy, or leave their table and run about. Parents either took their children outside to calm them down or took other action. There was a time when parents with children on an airplane did not let their children kick the seat in front of them, disturbing other passengers.

Today, parents think it to be inconsiderate or rude to be asked to control their children, or go to a room for children so that whatever is occurring is not disturbed. Parents today, have become inconsiderate of others and unwilling to discipline their children.

Now for the church. I am going to guess that the church has experienced issues with irresponsible parents being unwilling to deal with their children when they become disruptive. If a church usher or official is forced to talk to parents who are allowing their children to be disruptive, well, the parents can be just as disruptive. With the service being recorded, the church might be reacting to issues by making a blanket rule, but they might have little choice.

Let's face it. If irresponsible and inconsiderate parents are upset by some simple rules, or simple requests, those parents do not belong in that church. A baby probably doesn't sing along when worship songs are sung, and the baby does not listen to or understand the sermons. I have talked to children who find Sunday services boring and grow to hate going to church. 

Some churches have services which welcome children during music and then send the children out for their own services or activities during the sermon. Some churches have nurseries for babies staffed with volunteers so the parents can listen to the sermon.

If I was visiting a church which allowed children to run about, bump into others, be loud or disruptive, I would leave that church.  

[Ezra]

There's nothing unreasonable to expect mothers with babies to move out to a nursery when necessary.  To call this "When a church won't let kids in..." is a little extreme, and I don't believer any church would so "Sorry, kids are barred".

[thereselittleflower]

1 hour ago, the_patriot2015 said:

lol no a cry room is seperate from a nursery. we have a nursery to where say, 1 and 2 year olds are watched by a volunteer during service. A cry room, is a room, usually connected to the sanctuary with a 1 way window where mothers can take the really young, especially nursing, children to, where they can let the kid cry or nurse the child, while still being able to see and hear everything going in in the sanctuary. the fancier churches have a room with no windows, but TV monitors showing a live feed.

Exactly - there is no tv, there is a large window, and the service can be  heard over a speaker.  The cry room is to provide somewhere for parents to go with fussy children, not to separate children from worship.

 

 

[The_Patriot21]

1 hour ago, thereselittleflower said:

Exactly - there is no tv, there is a large window, and the service can be  heard over a speaker.  The cry room is to provide somewhere for parents to go with fussy children, not to separate children from worship.

 

 

I have seen a few of your larger churches that it is a seperate room with TVs in it-though the one did it, because they already had the extra room, and it was cheaper to do it that way then to renovate.

[ayin jade]

Ok yall are responding as if the baby was crying. In the op, the baby wasnt making a fuss. The usher saw a baby carrier and made the assumption that it would be disruptive and asked them to go to a separate room. 

[The_Patriot21]

see, that isnt right jade-I wasnt saying it was. In my church were making the cry room available for parents to use-but we dont force/ask anyone to use it if they dont want to.

[Littlelambseativy]

Babies and young children should be welcome during a service. If a mother feels the child is a disruption it is generally up to the mother to take the child to the nursery where there is someone watching over the little ones or the mother can stay and with the adult listen to the service while the child fusses or plays. We have Sunday school for the children part way through the church service and this gives the young a place to learn about the same topic as the sermon yet at their level.

[Qnts2]

6 hours ago, Littlelambseativy said:

Babies and young children should be welcome during a service. If a mother feels the child is a disruption it is generally up to the mother to take the child to the nursery where there is someone watching over the little ones or the mother can stay and with the adult listen to the service while the child fusses or plays. We have Sunday school for the children part way through the church service and this gives the young a place to learn about the same topic as the sermon yet at their level.

If mothers were truly aware or cared when their child was disruptive, that would not be a problem. But, today, many mothers don't seem to care about the effect of their children on others.

Again, if all parents were aware or cared, this would not be a discussion, but today, parents are different then in prior years. Children run around, yell, etc, and parents do nothing. If a person says something, then they become almost worse then their unruly children. A church which has faced this situation where a parent was asked to take an unruly child or baby out of a service, and then parent objects loudly in the service, telling others, they are intolerant of children, ends up making rules so as not to have that kind of confrontation again.

Sorry, if all mothers were responsible then it would be up to mothers. Since so many are not responsible, then rules must apply.

[The_Patriot21]

I disagree with that qnts. Maybe if it was with older children, yes perhaps the parents should learn to control their kids, but how do you tell a 6 month old to stop crying? spank him perhaps? and even then, even if the older kids are unruley, well guess what, they need Jesus to. so do the parents. Running them off because they "can't follow rules" is not Christlike in the least. We had a similar discussion over drinks in our new church building, we had several members who wanted to ban drinks in the sanctuary, which sounds good on the surface, but we have a large community of shiftworkers, who come off working nights who need coffee just to stay awake with church, and what about single moms who bring in drinks for their kids. Do we want to protect our buildings? yes. But, on the other note, what if we have that single mom come to church for the first time in years, only to be chewed out by an old fellow because she brought in sippy cups for her kids. Think that single mother is coming back? No. Is it shallow that they would leave because of drinks? yes, probably. But they need Jesus to. The church isnt a museum for the perfect, but a hospital for the broken. Those are the people we want to reach, and Im not one to turn someone away over a coffee stain in the carpet.

The same principle applies with kids. Should parents keep better control over the kids? certainly. There are a lot of irresponsible parents and kids out there. But forcing them out of service, because a kid is to loud? Im sorry, thats not what the church is for. If we are turning people away because their kid is to loud, or because they might spill coffee on your precious new coffee, then your missing the point of going to church in the first place.