What do you think about Boundaries?

[GoldenEagle]

19 minutes ago, Yowm said:

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound sarcastic but one liners are my style. In another forum  I was known as the  'bumper sticker' poster...don't take offense, it is just me.  If you are preparing a loooong response, don't be surprised if my answer is also short.

 

12 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

I do not like long posts either Yown. I like your short posts. To the point.

 

2 minutes ago, RustyAngeL said:

Me too missmuffet, Right to the point.

Some things cannot be explained in one or two sentences. Summarizing a book for example.  

God bless,
GE

[missmuffet]

3 minutes ago, GoldenEagle said:

 

 

Some things cannot be explained in one or two sentences. Summarizing a book for example.  

God bless,
GE

I understand that. And the "Got Questions" that I post is not short.

[GoldenEagle]

3 hours ago, Yowm said:

GE, you've read the book and I assume the bible. What did the author say that wasn't in the bible?

 

1 hour ago, Openly Curious said:

GE

What do you think about boundaries now that you have read the book?  

What advice or counsel was given by the author of the book that would not be found in the bible?  

For the bible sets boundaries for believers to follow concerning our body, soul and spirit.  The bible gives the believers instructions or counsel in godly living.  

The world gives counsel but does not include the will of God it is worldly or earthly advice.  It can be useful at times as we live in the world but are not of this world.  But the natural mind does not understand the things of the spirit therefore we must as believers rely upon the Word of God.  As man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

In Chapter 1 the author speaks of a lady named Sherrie who has a hard time knowing what are her responsibilities and what aren't. She has the problem that she can't say no to people.

Her Mom 
Showing up unannounced on a school night. Staying all evening and guilting Sherrie into not finishing her daughter's costume for the school play. 

Her child - Todd
She was not able to say no to her son who in turn expected everyone to cater to his needs. The result is an undisciplined child who still has a hard time adjusting socially and has problems following directions in 3rd grade. The child's response to not getting what he wanted was World War 2 all over again. Hello temper tantrums! 

Her boss - Jeff
Giving her 5 hours worth of work crunching numbers and creating a report that should've been his responsibility at 4pm in the afternoon and expecting it the next morning to be finished. 

Her Husband - Walt
Walt had issues with his temper and didn't really spend time with his wife. 

Chapter 2 explains how boundaries work. The example is given of a young man in his mid-twenties still living at home, facing drug issues, paying bills, trouble finishing college, moving out on his own, and taking responsibility for his own life. 

Here's a good summary from the book that helps explain boundaries:

If our lives would be compared to a "house", we can only affect those things within our fences. One person is the owner. He or she can have assistants. When we try to go digging and molding other's property is when complications, frustrations, and misunderstanding occur. When we try to be the Holy Spirit or the "house" owner in someone's life then that is where the issues begin or increase.

That really resonated with me.

I have to be responsible for my actions, feelings, words, and thoughts. I cannot be responsible for the actions, feelings words, and thoughts of others.  

God bless,
GE

[*Deidre*]

4 hours ago, Ezra said:

GE,

No I have not read that book, since there is really no need to do so.  And yes, strictly biblical counseling by godly spiritual leaders (pastors and elders within the context of a local church) is what the Lord expects.  If they want to use the term nouthetic, then that's fine.

If Christians desire wisdom, they have not only the wisdom books in Scripture and the teachings of Christ and the apostles, but also the promise that those who ask God for wisdom will receive it in generous doses (James 1:5-8).

Just because we are Christians, doesn't mean we can't read books outside of the Bible in order to glean particular insights into everyday living. 

[*Deidre*]

As to the OP, I think if we are discerning of who to have in our social circles, we will not have to be so strict on boundaries, because we will be surrounded by healthy people who don't want to harm us. I have only had to put boundaries in place, when I've dated ''bad'' guys, who after we broke up, couldn't take no for an answer, etc. It's usually people who don't respect others to begin with, who need to be reminded of boundaries. Most healthy, well adjusted people don't ''need'' boundaries and respect people without much to it. Just my experiences, anyways.

[missmuffet]

25 minutes ago, *Deidre* said:

Just because we are Christians, doesn't mean we can't read books outside of the Bible in order to glean particular insights into everyday living. 

I only read Christian books. That is my safe boundary.

[Ezra]

3 hours ago, *Deidre* said:

Just because we are Christians, doesn't mean we can't read books outside of the Bible in order to glean particular insights into everyday living. 

We can read all the books we want, but if we want God's insights, they will not correspond to man's. Check out these non-boundaries (Mt 5:39-42):

But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.

And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

[Marilyn C]

Hi Golden Eagle,

I have enjoyed reading your thread & the way you are interacting & helping us all work through this important issue. I have read the book & know it has given insight to different people I relate to. My first thought is -

`God must be first in our life....` Thus that is the boundary of all boundaries. Jesus exemplified that in His life & we are also commanded to do so. By the Holy Spirit we learn how that works out in our everyday life. And people, like those who wrote `Boundaries` flesh out God`s truths for us.

Also if everything we said & read had to be just Bible words, we would not be talking here on the forum.

regards, Marilyn. 

[Marilyn C]

1 hour ago, Ezra said:

We can read all the books we want, but if we want God's insights, they will not correspond to man's. Check out these non-boundaries (Mt 5:39-42):

But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.

And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.Give

Hi Ezra,

I think if we understand that no scripture is of stand alone interpretation, (2 Peter 1: 20) then we will look at all God says regarding the topic.

So for example if we just read, `Give to him that asketh thee, & from him would borrow of thee turn not away,`  & if we did that to all who came calling, what of looking after one`s own household? Seems a contradiction, until you realise that God has given us discernment. We are to be wise in not giving out to all & sundry, realising that one`s family is of priority.

Marilyn.

 

[kwikphilly]

Blessings Golden Eagle

    I have not read this book but it does sounds like a good one......I know I couldn't possibly get around to it as I have "several"books here that I have not even opened yet,it will be a while before I can catch up on my reading & I've already took on too much ......gotta have boundaries -lol

   Gods Word gives us much instruction on setting up boundaries for ourselves,"for" & "from" others as well.......

Proverbs 22:24 - Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

2 Corinthians 6:14 - Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Joshua 1:8 - This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

Proverbs 21:19 - [It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Colossians 4:6 - Let your speech [be] alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

                                                                                       Just to mention a couple,Glory to God!                               With love-in Christ,Kwik