Severing A 16 Year Adulterous Marriage

[Walty]

Please forgive me, i typed this up from my phone. I don't know where to begin. Right now, my marriage is not on the rocks. Matter of fact, it's been very beautiful recently since both my wife and I have rededicated ourselves to the work of the Lord. Knowing how much I love my wife, it grieves my heart to even bring this point up, yet it seems I am facing a undeniable truth, that the woman who I am in love with, and is wonderfully faithful to me, shouldn't be married to me.

See, this is my first marriage. This is her second marriage. She was very young when she was married before. In her early twenties. She married a man who was trying to be a musician. For seven years she was his wife. He never held down a real job, and was caught up in drugs. She ended up leaving him mostly because of drugs. Please keep in mind, at this time in her life she professes to be a Christian. 

*[[Mat 19:9]] KJV* And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Years later, I came into the picture and married her.

At the time I married her, I was running from God. I wasn't in a good place. When I was very young, in my teens, I was a Christian serving God. Later, I went to a bible college to become a preacher. Afterwards, I went to California to help build a Church.

One day I just left. I ran. I admit I stopped praying and reading the Bible. My spiritual life was non existences. It was during this dark time of my life where I "shacked" up with this woman for well over a year. I then thought I should marry her. 

Forteen years later, God tugged on my heart reigns. God told me to "clean house". My wife and I started to go to church. Now today, both her and I are Christians. 

Am I living in a adulterous marriage? Should I repent of my doings 15 years go and sever my marriage? I love my wife, but I love God more! I know ending my marriage would be devastating to her! It also would grieve my heart infinitely! 

[FresnoJoe]

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:47 (English Standard Version)

[Walty]

The scripture clearly says that "whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery".

Here are a few points:

1. My wife's previous marriage ended NOT on biblical grounds. according to Matthew 19.
2. Even till this day, she professes to be a christian at that time.  Even though this really doesn't matter.

I was in a dark place of my life, running from God, living in sin when I met the woman who I'm married 16 years ago. I want to repent of all my sins.  

Please understand, I don't want to break up my marriage. I love LOVE my wife. A month or so ago I privately talked to my pastor of the church my wife and I go to about this issue, and he told me to ignore it. He told me that it is not of God to break up a marriage. He even told me that the devil can use this to destroy my marriage.  Believe me, i don't want to destroy my marriage.

Paul said:

*[[Cor 13:5]] KJV* Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

I don't want to live a life in a marriage that God recognizes as adultery!

I want God's blessings on my life.  I want to serve God with all my whole heart. I don't want anything to be in my way in servanthood to God.  I have my struggles, and I have failed repeatedly. Yet, I want to bounce back and get right with God almighty! It's not God's fault that I married a woman who was previously married and divorced unbiblicaly.  I admit, in my foolishness of following my own lusts and desires, I put myself in this situation.

Please, anyone can shed a little divine light on this matter?

[Walty]

48 minutes ago, FresnoJoe said:

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:47 (English Standard Version)

Beautiful scripture, and I try my best'est to forgive much. Yet, God will not change his Word in Matthew 19 for no one. His word is eternal. 

I've been praying and praying regarding this issue. I even thought about asking God to give me some type of sign that I know I'm not living in a adulterous marriage, yet my mind go to this scripture:

*[[Mat 16:4]] KJV*  A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas. And he left them, and departed.

It says "adulterous generation"! There are a lot of people who are living in sin.  Remember when Jesus sat by the well of water speaking to the Samaritan woman in John 4:18?  

*[[Joh 4:18]] KJV*  For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

OMG! I need clarity on this! Even though it will be mightily grievous, should I repent of my sinful actions and end my marriage?

[enoob57]

This can only be answered by God The Holy Spirit within you... as the Bible indicates we are not justified by works of the Law but by faith. Relationship to God is all that has worth here and that relationship then opened to example before others, here, the work... If done in The s/Spirit then all relationships are the result of The One we have with our Lord and we in fact see it as such... You singularly then together need to open into the nakedness of His Presence to seek out His Pleasure in the answer! When you both desire His Will in this more than your own desires and will the answer will be given Through His Word by The Spirit.  Love,  Steven

[Walty]

4 minutes ago, enoob57 said:

This can only be answered by God The Holy Spirit within you... as the Bible indicates we are not justified by works of the Law but by faith. Relationship to God is all that has worth here and that relationship then opened to example before others here the work... If done in The s/Spirit then all relationships are the result of The One we have with our Lord and we in fact see it as such... You singularly then together need to open into the nakedness of His Presence to seek out His Pleasure in the answer! When you both desire His Will in this more than your own desires and will the answer will be given Through His Word by The Spirit.  Love,  Steven

I understand. I do agree how we are not justified by the works of the Law, but by faith. It is this very faith that keeps me going and learning to even forgive myself of my past.

I really appreciate your comment, and please take this with no offense, you said "This can only be answered by God The Holy Spirit within you" isn't this already answered in God's Word? It's not God's fault that I married my wife. This is all part of the free-moral-agency of mankind. Isn't the answer that I'm looking for already written in God's word? Even though it is very grievous and very emotional to wrap my mind around this, but isn't it clear to repent of my action, I should follow God's Word and end this marriage that isn't biblical? This is what's going though my mind right now.

[enoob57]

1 hour ago, enoob57 said:

This can only be answered by God The Holy Spirit within you... as the Bible indicates we are not justified by works of the Law but by faith. Relationship to God is all that has worth here and that relationship then opened to example before others, here, the work... If dounne in The s/Spirit then all relationships are the result of The One we have with our Lord and we in fact see it as such... You singularly then together need to open into the nakedness of His Presence to seek out His Pleasure in the answer! When you both desire His Will in this more than your own desires and will the answer will be given Through His Word by The Spirit.  Love,  Steven

 

1 hour ago, Walty said:

I understand. I do agree how we are not justified by the works of the Law, but by faith. It is this very faith that keeps me going and learning to even forgive myself of my past.

I really appreciate your comment, and please take this with no offense, you said "This can only be answered by God The Holy Spirit within you" isn't this already answered in God's Word? It's not God's fault that I married my wife. This is all part of the free-moral-agency of mankind. Isn't the answer that I'm looking for already written in God's word? Even though it is very grievous and very emotional to wrap my mind around this, but isn't it clear to repent of my action, I should follow God's Word and end this marriage that isn't biblical? This is what's going though my mind right now.

Undoubtedly you are speaking of the Matt 5 comment by The Lord   However at the contextual time of the speaking He (Jesus) was under the Law and taught as one under the Law... but anyone but The Christ was not justified by works of the law! Only Jesus fulfilled the law! Jesus also said this

Matthew 9:13 (KJV)
[13] But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

{snip}from Adam Clarks work
Mt 9:13 I will have mercy, and not sacrifice - Quoted from 1Sa 15:22. These are remarkable words. We may understand them as implying,

1st. That God prefers an act of mercy, shown to the necessitous, to any act of religious worship to which the person might be called at that time. Both are good; but the former is the greater good, and should be done in preference to the other.

2dly. That the whole sacrificial system was intended only to point out the infinite mercy of God to fallen man, in his redemption by the blood of the new covenant. And

3dly. That we should not rest in the sacrifices, but look for the mercy and salvation prefigured by them. This saying was nervously translated by our ancestors, I will mild-heartedness, and not sacrifice.

Go ye and learn - צא ולמד tse velimmed, a form of speech in frequent use among the rabbins, when they referred to any fact or example in the Sacred Writings. Nothing tends more to humble pretenders to devotion than to show them that they understand neither Scripture nor religion, when, relying on external performances, they neglect love to God and man, which is the very soul and substance of true religion. True holiness has ever consisted in faith working by love.

I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners - Most of the common editions add, εις μετανοιαν, unto repentance; but this is omitted in the Codex Vatic. and Bezae, sixteen others, both the Syriac, both the Persic, Ethiop. Armen. Gothic, Anglo-Saxon, all the Itala except three, the Vulgate, Clemens Roman, Origen, Basil, Jerome, Augustin, Ambrose, and Barnabas. The omission is approved by Mill and Bengel. Griesbach leaves it out of the text.
and again it is written

Micah 6:6 (KJV)

[6] Wherewith shall I come before the LORD, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old?

[7] Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

[8] He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

Love, Steven

 

 

 

[Openly Curious]

It is not the will of God to divorce your current wife.  Do you not think God can forgive a person who has had a divorce in their past and give them a new start in life.  Do you actually think you will be more righteous to put your wife away for no reason other than her past marriage?   You have admitted that both of you have repented and now are living for God does it not bring any reasoning to your current walk That God Hates Divorce?  Will you then sin against her by putting her away without a cause?    

[other one]

was her first husband unfaithful to her........   most male druggies I know have very wide ranging sex lives.  At least to hear them talk about it.

[Walty]

10 hours ago, other one said:

was her first husband unfaithful to her........   most male druggies I know have very wide ranging sex lives.  At least to hear them talk about it.

I repeatedly asked her if he was in anyway unfaithful. She continues to say it wasn't. It was because of not supporting the marriage, and of drug use.