A Christian Owes Me Money

[Mea kakau]

Not certain if this topic belongs here.

A Christian brother owes my husband and I money for equipment he borrowed and subsequently got stolen out of his van. This man has repeatedly told us he would take care of it and pay us for the stolen equipment. This has gone on (on and off contacting us) now since 1996. Now I wonder, in the back of my mind, did he ever intend to pay us back. Every time I contact him he has either forgotten about it or says he will pay us soon.

I'm confused about what to do in this situation. I've prayed about it. I prayed for the man. I've called him and talked about it. And it's the same story again and again. "I'll pay you in a month or so." Never happens.

The man is a part time pastor at a well-known church in his city. He used our equipment to start a ministry and a business. Both are successful. So money isn't a problem.

 

[ayin jade]

After all this time I would consider forgiving the debt.

[Mea kakau]

Hello ayin jade,

Does forgiving mean forgetting? This is where I'm confused.

A Christian therapist who was also pastor, I saw years ago, told me forgiveness is not about forgetting a debt. It was in reference to forgiving someone for abusing me. He said just because you forgive doesn't mean you have to forget. He told me because if you forget then you can't protect yourself against abuse in the future.

[ayin jade]

I meant forgiving as in forgetting the debt. Its been 20 yrs and its not about the money you said. So really its more like a grudge that is being carried all this time. Let it go. Forgive him and forgive the debt. Whether you still continue to talk to him is up to you. But I would forget about the debt at this point. 

[Dennis1209]

Matthew 18:

[Omegaman 3.0]

1 hour ago, Mea kakau said:

I'm confused about what to do in this situation. I've prayed about it. I prayed for the man. I've called him and talked about it. And it's the same story again and again. "I'll pay you in a month or so." Never happens.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Eph 4:32

How has Christ forgiven you, do you think he expects you to pay him back?

"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Luke 6:35

If that is how we are to treat others, why make exceptions with this man?

My advice, drop the issue. No, that does not mean forgetting, it means just drop it.

In the future, I suggest not lending, unless you are able to let go if it. At the very least, if you really think you need to get it pack, you might be able to make an arrangement with hi, to pay you back on a schedule, you have waited 20 years so far.
 

[Ezra]

6 hours ago, Mea kakau said:

The man is a part time pastor at a well-known church in his city. He used our equipment to start a ministry and a business. Both are successful. So money isn't a problem.

Since this is the case, you could write a letter to the Chairman of the Board and let him know that you need his assistance in recovering your funds from the borrower, who is on their staff.  A word from a third party might help.

[Guest]

I feel it is entirely up to you, you are in the "right", either way you go on this.

I am a Christian businessman, and right now two Christians owe me for "services rendered...". I have full legal grounds under man's and God's laws to expect to receive my monies for this work. I can file small claims judgment at the local magistrate office, and they will be held accountable for it until it is paid in full.

I have decided not to do this. I have billed each person twice, and I will certainly receive the funds if they ever do decide to pay them, (doubtful) but at this point, I have forgiven the debt, as far as expecting to receive it - I no longer hold it to their charge, it is no big deal to me if I receive it. Maybe not "forgotten", as I obviously still remember it, but I no longer hold them accountable for it.

If they pay it, that is fine, but if not...so be it.

[enoob57]

9 hours ago, Mea kakau said:

Hello ayin jade,

Does forgiving mean forgetting? This is where I'm confused.

A Christian therapist who was also pastor, I saw years ago, told me forgiveness is not about forgetting a debt. It was in reference to forgiving someone for abusing me. He said just because you forgive doesn't mean you have to forget. He told me because if you forget then you can't protect yourself against abuse in the future.

The reality of life is not to be conformed to this world... Loving not the world nor the things in it is key to having different motivations and purposes! Our responsibility to our brothers and sisters are the same as to oursleves in this directive... I believe you need not to worry about that which you cannot keep anyway but to allow your brother to injure himself in error is also a consideration!
Ezra has given a way to step up a influence to do right for He (the borrower) has shown the need for you to help him in his weakness! Do it in love... Love, Steven

3 hours ago, Ezra said:

Since this is the case, you could write a letter to the Chairman of the Board and let him know that you need his assistance in recovering your funds from the borrower, who is on their staff.  A word from a third party might help.

 

[Mea kakau]

9 hours ago, Abby-Joy said:

I know it's painful to be put off like that by a brother... I've been there.  But after awhile, you just have to realize they aren't intent on repaying. 

All of us played on a praise and worship team, the man and his wife and my husband and I. One time he visited us and saw our digital synthesizer. He was a wonderful piano player and asked if he could play it. Soon after that he wondered if he could borrow it to start his two ministries. And we never saw it again. I've always suspected it was never stolen in the first place. He just intended to keep it.

I've prayed for him to have success in his business and he did.

I'd consider this stealing because he never intended to bring it back.

I guess I've got a hard time with him being a pastor and teaching the Alpha Course at his church. Of course I'm not supposed to judge. Right. Geesh! It's okay for him to steal and then teach his congregation not to steal. Say what!?

This isn't the first time a pastor preached on not doing a particular thing, and then I caught them in the act doing exactly what their sermon said not to do.

Edited November 17, 2016 by Mea kakau