how far do you forgive

[creativemechanic]

That we forgive is not in question at all. But my issue is how far does this forgiveness go in terms of how you relate to the person.

I had a couple of situations where people I considered friends made their opinionsof me known  openly and very embarrassingly. So mentally I cut them off. If they need my help, I'll help them, I'll also be civil to them. I don't think I hate them or hold a grudge and prayed that God not let me do so. But the supposed friendship is no where near the same. I won't try to be friendly or go out to interact with them as I once would. I'm wondering if this is right or christianlike

[full goespel]

You are told to lay down your life for them you have one right and that is to love, 7 x 70 times you have to forgive. And that doesnt say forgive them small things either. You are

Romans 8:36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
 

[Jayne]

Forgiving people MUST go the full distance to it's fullest degree ...... but forgiveness doesn't always mean that you are bosom buddies once again.  Forgiving people just means that you don't hold what they did to you in account against them.  It's what Christ did for us.  We must forgive as he forgave.  And that's hard.  But we must.  And sometimes even though forgiveness is given - consequences are such that relationships are not easily restored and maybe never restored.

Our forgiving people has nothing to do with their paying a consequence.  We forgive whether they pay a consequence or not.

If a husband/father sexually abuses his child, the wife/mother and the child will have to come to the point of forgiveness someday - even for their own sanity - , but that does NOT mean that reconciliation is required or that they ever have to see him again. 

My uncle was held in his home at gunpoint - tied to a chair -  and robbed.  He has forgiven that young man - who is a distant cousin and is 24 years old.  We all have.  But we won't be in a happy-go-lucky relationship with him anymore like when he was a boy.  He is a dangerous young man who cannot stay out of trouble and his actions get progressively worse.  He frightens me.  I  have forgiven him and pray for his salvation, but he will not be in any of our families homes any time soon and we all hope that he will be going to jail after the hearing.  He's robbed people at gunpoint in another state as a minor and all they did was to tell him he wasn't allowed back in that state.

Forgiveness is imperative - it's part of the healing process for the victim who is in pain.  But consequences sometimes are such that what's broken cannot and sometimes should not be restored or at least not right away.

 

[markdohle]

When we trust someone it is actually a gift we bestow, when it is broken, especially in a manner that is grievous, then there is no more trust.  It is hard to regain.  Sometimes trust can be recovered, though I believe that is seldom done if the betrayal is truly malicious.  Of course if the person knows the depth of his betrayal and his sorrow is deep enough it could lead to something deeper, but again, I believe that is rare.

Peace
mark

[full goespel]

Why does what happened to us change Gods word. It doesnt. He gave all to us and we give it all back. There is no half measure in forgivness. @Jayne He forgave us fully and there is no half measure. So you are bosom buddies. We hold on to our pians like prizes. Let it go. Go pray for the person its them who is trouble not you.

[kwikphilly]

Quote

.  I  have forgiven him and pray for his salvation, but he will not be in any of our families homes any time soon and we all hope that he will be going to jail after the hearing. 

I agree,forgiveness does not mean someone like this should be trusted & carry on as usual......

Blessings creativemechanic,I think your wise to proceed with caution....You have forgiven,love them & yet let their fruits tell you WHO they are,trust must be earned & has nothing to do with love or forgiveness                                                            With love-in Christ,Kwik

[RustyAngeL]

On 11/20/2016 at 1:51 PM, creativemechanic said:

That we forgive is not in question at all. But my issue is how far does this forgiveness go in terms of how you relate to the person.

I had a couple of situations where people I considered friends made their opinionsof me known  openly and very embarrassingly. So mentally I cut them off. If they need my help, I'll help them, I'll also be civil to them. I don't think I hate them or hold a grudge and prayed that God not let me do so. But the supposed friendship is no where near the same. I won't try to be friendly or go out to interact with them as I once would. I'm wondering if this is right or christianlike

I"ve said this before.  Forgiveness does not have anything to do with the other person, it has to do with us.  When we forgive we are freed up to love them whether they ever know they are forgiven or not.

[B3L13v3R]

As mentioned brother, we forgive, and move on!
I've had some "friends" that have done similar things over the years. Slander, lies, even theft being amongst those sins towards me and ultimately against God.

Mark 11:25-26
(25)  And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
(26)  But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

I've rebuked them. As there has been no change on their part, I have nothing more to do with them, but still pray for them on occasion.

Luke 17:3  Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

Should they ever repent before God, and ask forgiveness towards me, I'll gladly accept.
At the same time, I'll be looking for "fruits meet (worthy & right) with repentance" to make sure they were sincere.

Matthew 3:8  Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:

 

[full goespel]

17 minutes ago, B3L13v3R said:

As mentioned brother, we forgive, and move on!
I've had some "friends" that have done similar things over the years. Slander, lies, even theft being amongst those sins towards me and ultimately against God.

Mark 11:25-26
(25)  And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
(26)  But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

I've rebuked them. As there has been no change on their part, I have nothing more to do with them, but still pray for them on occasion.

Luke 17:3  Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

Should they ever repent before God, and ask forgiveness towards me, I'll gladly accept.
At the same time, I'll be looking for "fruits meet (worthy & right) with repentance" to make sure they were sincere.

Matthew 3:8  Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:

 

If you forgave them theres nothing to gladly except. I would pray Lord bless them Thank you they are most trust worthy. bless yu Father there coming into the kingdom. I have people stole 1,5 thousnd pounds from me and 500 pounds and other things. Let it Go bless them Father thank you for them There amazing Your amazing, Its nothing Lord. I love them. I thank you Father you helped me love them. woo hoo. I am free from You because I am free from me. Hardly anyone will get the last paryer.

[Jayne]

On 11/20/2016 at 3:07 PM, full goespel said:

Why does what happened to us change Gods word. It doesnt. He gave all to us and we give it all back. There is no half measure in forgivness. @Jayne He forgave us fully and there is no half measure. So you are bosom buddies. We hold on to our pians like prizes. Let it go. Go pray for the person its them who is trouble not you.

You didn't read my post past the second sentence, did you.