the pecking order in a marriage

[Annette]

On 6/14/2017 at 5:20 PM, Willa said:

It is even more important to pray WITH one another.

 So true Willa. So often, it is easy to forget this. And seems to be something that we do as a last resort. 

Blessings

[Annette]

On 6/14/2017 at 0:57 PM, missmuffet said:

A Christian couple in a marriage learn to function as a team. They lean on one each others strength. The man is not given free rein to dominate the woman. The couple need to stay in prayer regarding the decisions that they make. 

Hi MissMuffet,

I love the idea of drawing from each other and their strengths. It is often so easy to focus on the other person's faults. 

Blessings  

[other one]

The husband has the final say, however, if the relationship is that that is directed by Jesus, the decision should always be made in what is best interests of the wife.  We are to love them as Jesus loved the church.

[Neighbor]

Okay, I am going to be  the contrarian I suppose.

 We married young. I was Tarzan, I killed the food, brought it home,  Jane decided from there how to cook, if to cook or if to throw out Tarzan's kill and then dine out. I may have  dug out the cave but Jane picked the dig site. In fifty years I never looked at the family financial books, except one time when teaching our young daughter how a check book works. That was back in the days of land phone lines and Bell Telephone. Well I read aloud," And here on this line is the telephone  bill"...Jane seemed to wince a bit. "See the bill is $276. $276?!! What!!!"

With that I handed the check book over to Jane  and said you teach her, if you can make that work for us all these years you  are a miracle worker, and I don't ever want to see our finances again.  And I didn't. And she was-that miracle worker for half a century, till death did part us.

Now God has granted me late in life a  wife yet again. We being mature realize that we want to do what our Lord wills, so we start with the idea we are of the bride of His church.  We ask each day and for each situation guidance from God the Holy Spirit. We give our praise and our thanks. 

Edited June 17, 2017 by Neighbor

[Annette]

On 6/14/2017 at 11:48 PM, april1234 said:

Ephesians 5:22-28 explains it quite well.

We are to submit to our husband's authority, but he is to love us as Christ loves the church.  As wives, we are also called to be our husband's helpmate, which means we are also supposed to help them with these decisions, however.

1 Peter 3 even goes so far as to tell us that this is how wives can minister to our unsaved husbands.

Hi April1234,

Thanks for your answer  

I can't think of any love greater than Christ has for the church. If we can get to the stage where we truly love each other in the same way, can you imagine what an impact it would have on our family and friends?

Blessings.

 

[Annette]

On 6/15/2017 at 7:37 AM, Gary Lee said:

Though I, the husband, was entrusted by God the responsibility to make the final decisions in our marriage, it is my wife, in her feminine subtle, wise and inspired wisdom,  who is the one who usually brings up what scripture would have us do.  But she's cool.  My male ego is not aroused emotionally (usually) when she simply reminds me of God's word for our/His path in our marriage.  And then;   "Husbands! Love your wife"..................

“Behind every great man is a great woman!” ……that saying is especially true for the husband of the Proverbs 31 woman!

Hi Gary,

I love the honesty in your answer  And the reminder that as a husband and wife, we work as a team. 

The reference to Proverbs 31, is a reminder that I am still on a journey to becoming who I should be... 

Blessings

[Annette]

On 6/15/2017 at 8:37 AM, TheMatrixHasU71 said:

I agree totally, as a woman, and a non-feminist. A wive's opinions should be treated as important and a husband should always listen to his wife but in the end the final decision must come down to him.

 Hey TheMatrix, thanks for sharing this. I love that there is an opportunity to share our thoughts. And important truths. I like what you said about it being important to hear one another out. Not sure about you, but those arguments inside our head where we think we know what someone is going to say.... can be so futile.

One person has to make a final decision, and to be honest, I am glad it is my husband who gets that responsibility  

Blessings.

[Annette]

10 minutes ago, other one said:

The husband has the final say, however, if the relationship is that that is directed by Jesus, the decision should always be made in what is best interests of the wife.  We are to love them as Jesus loved the church.

Hey Other One,

If we only all thought of this as having the other person's best interest at heart, it would be easier to work as a team together, than fighting against one another.

As a mother, I may tell my daughter not to walk on the road. When I say it, I may realize that a car is coming and do not want her to be bumped. She may take it that I don't love her and choose to be offended. 

Maybe we need to take the time to encourage one another  

 

[Annette]

14 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

Okay, I am going to be  the contrarian I suppose.

 We married young. I was Tarzan, I killed the food, brought it home,  Jane decided from there how to cook, if to cook or if to throw out Tarzan's kill and then dine out. I may have  dug out the cave but Jane picked the dig sight. In fifty years I never looked at the family financial books, except one time when teaching our young daughter how a check book works. That was back in the days of land phone lines and Bell Telephone. Well I read aloud," And here on this line is the telephone  bill"...Jane seemed to wince a bit. "See the bill is $276. $276?!! What!!!"

With that I handed the check book over to Jane  and said you teach her, if you can make that work for us all these years you  are a miracle worker, and I don't ever want to see our finances again.  And I didn't. And she was-that miracle worker for half a century, till death did part us.

Now God has granted me late in life a  wife yet again. We being mature realize that we want to do what our Lord wills, so we start with the idea we are of the bride of His church.  We ask each day and for each situation guidance from God the Holy Spirit. We give our praise and our thanks. 

Thank you Neighbor for sharing your story. It was a real encouragement.  

[other one]

5 hours ago, Annette said:

Hey Other One,

If we only all thought of this as having the other person's best interest at heart, it would be easier to work as a team together, than fighting against one another.

As a mother, I may tell my daughter not to walk on the road. When I say it, I may realize that a car is coming and do not want her to be bumped. She may take it that I don't love her and choose to be offended. 

Maybe we need to take the time to encourage one another