It feels impossible

[4LdKHVCzRDj2]

I am not sure I should post about this here but this is the only place I can talk, then sorry if I am making a mistake.

 

It feels impossible for me to have a normal life like everybody else, people have friends, take pictures, talk with each other, share feelings, etc.

I would like to have (real) friends, to talk, share my feelings, expose myself comfortably, etc... But it feels so hard I cannot make it, and if I do it I feel so bad I don't want to do it again.

It all seems of extreme complexity, living in society, building relationships, knowing people, do things in the right order and in the correct way on the streets and buildings... I cannot explain very well.

Like when I talk to people and their reaction is negative, I feel like I did something wrong and I don't want to try again... I feel rejected and avoided by everyone, like they don't want to know me or they think I am not the type of person they should stay near.

 

What I would like to do that I do not do and when I do I feel like I should not do it. I do not know what to do, and people don't seem to understand me very well. And it seems I do not understand people very well too.

 

Sorry if this sounds confusing.. English is not my first language.

 

Thank you!

[missmuffet]

6 minutes ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

I am not sure I should post about this here but this is the only place I can talk, then sorry if I am making a mistake.

 

It feels impossible for me to have a normal life like everybody else, people have friends, take pictures, talk with each other, share feelings, etc.

I would like to have (real) friends, to talk, share my feelings, expose myself comfortably, etc... But it feels so hard I cannot make it, and if I do it I feel so bad I don't want to do it again.

It all seems of extreme complexity, living in society, building relationships, knowing people, do things in the right order and in the correct way on the streets and buildings... I cannot explain very well.

Like when I talk to people and their reaction is negative, I feel like I did something wrong and I don't want to try again... I feel rejected and avoided by everyone, like they don't want to know me or they think I am not the type of person they should stay near.

 

What I would like to do that I do not do and when I do I feel like I should not do it. I do not know what to do, and people don't seem to understand me very well. And it seems I do not understand people very well too.

 

Sorry if this sounds confusing.. English is not my first language.

 

Thank you!

Perhaps you are dealing with a social anxiety. You are not alone there are others who feel as you do. Maybe a very low self esteem and somewhat insecure. It does not sound confusing at all. Is it easier for you to relate to people over the computer? Have you even had any Christian counseling for this issue? It may help. There are groups that you could get into with people who feel the same way that you do. A counselor or your pastor may know of such groups.

[BK1110]

This sounds like me. Avoidant Personality Disorder, or AvPD. I suggest you look it up. I know what you mean. I'd love to be around people, but the thought of rejection is so heartbreaking and terrifying that it's easier to just be alone. It's been about a decade since I've been with a friend off-line. I really don't have anyone I share personal details with; it's just too painful when they, even unintentionally, say something even slightly critical.

Fortunately God is there for me, or anyone else who seeks Him!

[missmuffet]

It is very common with asperger's syndrome(autism).

[hmbld]

11 hours ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

 

Sorry if this sounds confusing.. English is not my first language.

 

Thank you!

I did not know english was not your first language!  And you explained yourself very well.  I relate to a lot of what you describe here, but I wish to let you know, God is able to able to set you free from yourself!  You can seek to label yourself with some condition or other, OR, you can focus solely on God and His heart for you, and simply allow your desire to know Him MORE grow!

Whatever condition or anxiety or rejection you feel, DISOWN it!  It is NOT God's plan for you!  Search out God's heart for you and for others, and only that matters.  You desire God's heart, so claim that!

Thank you for posting.  I believe far too many of us are held down, held hostage to this, is this the enemies oppression, is it our own emotions, is it spiritual forces coming against us?  I don't know, but it is not God's plan.  I want to know God, I want to know God's heart, I want MORE of You God!

[Aimes]

7 hours ago, hmbld said:

I did not know english was not your first language!  And you explained yourself very well.  I relate to a lot of what you describe here, but I wish to let you know, God is able to able to set you free from yourself!  You can seek to label yourself with some condition or other, OR, you can focus solely on God and His heart for you, and simply allow your desire to know Him MORE grow!

Whatever condition or anxiety or rejection you feel, DISOWN it!  It is NOT God's plan for you!  Search out God's heart for you and for others, and only that matters.  You desire God's heart, so claim that!

Thank you for posting.  I believe far too many of us are held down, held hostage to this, is this the enemies oppression, is it our own emotions, is it spiritual forces coming against us?  I don't know, but it is not God's plan.  I want to know God, I want to know God's heart, I want MORE of You God!

I totally agree with the post above. Often times we hold ourselves captive to things but Christ has already given us the freedom we seek and need. There may be a real chemical issue also that needs to be addressed but ultimately the Lord is big enough to heal us and make us whole - that includes mental illness. I'm praying for you! I fully believe the Lord will heal you and help you to have real relationships. Don't let fear hold you back from living in the abundance that's been offered to you. 

[shanee]

Hello,i would say just keep strenghening your self with the Word...The Bible says many  take the wide road,i know some people that are looked at as very good people...lots of money,work hard ect.and can even come off as very charming but....have very little if any "fruit"and have to much of a im better than you type thing going on...once you learn how to put on the armor of God and other wisdoms in the Word things get better.I think alot of times people thinking they dont fit  in  with most people  is a good thing.

[Guest Butero]

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2017 at 10:48 PM, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

I am not sure I should post about this here but this is the only place I can talk, then sorry if I am making a mistake.

 

It feels impossible for me to have a normal life like everybody else, people have friends, take pictures, talk with each other, share feelings, etc.

I would like to have (real) friends, to talk, share my feelings, expose myself comfortably, etc... But it feels so hard I cannot make it, and if I do it I feel so bad I don't want to do it again.

It all seems of extreme complexity, living in society, building relationships, knowing people, do things in the right order and in the correct way on the streets and buildings... I cannot explain very well.

Like when I talk to people and their reaction is negative, I feel like I did something wrong and I don't want to try again... I feel rejected and avoided by everyone, like they don't want to know me or they think I am not the type of person they should stay near.

 

What I would like to do that I do not do and when I do I feel like I should not do it. I do not know what to do, and people don't seem to understand me very well. And it seems I do not understand people very well too.

 

Sorry if this sounds confusing.. English is not my first language.

 

Thank you!

I am kind of a loner, and don't have a lot of close friends.  I understand where you are coming from.  Don't try too hard.  Just be yourself.  Have you tried the chat room?  You can always find someone to talk to there.  If you are at facebook, look me up there, under the name John Butero, tell me who you are and I will approve a friend request.  There are many people like you.  

[Neighbor]

Praying for you to have comfort of body,  peace of mind, and security  of spirit and soul ,whether alone or in a stadium full of strangers.

May you gain a friend even tomorrow. I think you have gained some today even here.

[LPTSTR]

I know you feelings but I can not help you. I also feel lonely with no real real life friends. God can. But from my experience I can tell that God only answers prayers of those who already have nice social life and not of people like me. My only hope is that one day I somehow manage to rise my status so high that I wouldnt depend on God anymore. I can tell from experience, that I have wen through in my life that hoping on God in such situations is last thing you want to do. You can never be sure that it is His will to help You.