nude posters on ur bf's walls

[Guest alishatheartist]

hey every1..im new it's polite to introduce myself so i will.. i'm from new zealand am 21 and have been a christian all of my life..during the past 3 years i have backslid so to speak not intentially but i am not reali going to church and am not as close to God as id like to be. I realise God is real and nothing will ever change that fact i cannot deny the experiences i have had in the past. I am so hungry for God but too lazy to go to the super market so to speak (church) ok so there'z sum info 4u about where im at.

I have been going out with a wonderful guy for 3 1/2 months who i have grown to love..he was brought up christian has good values and is quite alternative..i dont know if he is the one for me as i know that God has the right person for me and will bring us together in his timming..but how do i know if he is that one?

anyway this is what's bothering me.......

I have a very strong dislike for porn..i hate it it's almost like i can feel my spirit mans anger when i see it..i feel confused..hurt..frustrated..clueless i dont understand why guys have these posters on their walls. I have brought this up to my boyfriend and he says they are just there because they are nice to look at and full in space on his walls. But why naked in those grossed out poses? cant you still appreciate someone who's good looking with clothes on? it's not like were in the garden of eden anymore.

After a rather heated argument (the 3rd one) he took them down..i still expressed my anger even so..asking him why it had taken him THIS long..telling him if the situation had been turned around i would of taken them down the minute he said they made him uncomftable..he didnt really have an answer. A few days later i found some more pics he had printed off the net of a lady who looked like she was older enuff to be his mother with blond hair ..u know the deal. He said hed had them for ages and he wasnt lying but wouldnt get rid of them..i was so mad i got them ripped them up and threw them in the bin. He doesn't ever get worked up or angry but he did say "alisha this is not going to work if you react like this everytime you find something about me you dont like" "you cant make me perfect" Am i being unfair? i hate those posters so much so doe's God but it's his room his life what can i do about it. I told him its disgusiting and perverted especially when he has a girlfriend..he said he had those pics cas she was "good looking" but im quite aware that "good looking" to most guys is sexy/seductive not beautifull as in say catherine zeta jones..i have neva seen tastefull pictures like these on a guys wall. i think that kinda made me jealous and upset as she was hideousally pornstar and it made me feel as low as anything he says im goregous and they dont compare as im his perfect girl. But i dont want to be with my bf surrounded by pictures of woman with no tops on with seducing poses etc.....he mite find them nice to look at but i dont when and how do you draw the line. I personally dont think its right when you have a girlfriend (especially) to have posters like that on ur wall it screams "hey look at me im perverted" im no different to that builder who whistled at you hollaring slime this morning. or "this is what i think is good looking/attractive now compare yourself" (it's worse when they look like pornstars or are!)...im not ugly but im not perfect i dont spend 5 hours in hair and makeup and photoshopped and airbrushed to look like barbie please help me i'm lost on this one yo

Alisha

Edited April 6, 2005 by Dr. Luke

[ayin jade]

There is so much to address in your post.........

You say you have been a Christian all your life, but what do you think it takes to be a Christian?

You boyfriend was raised Christian, but is he saved?

Assuming you are both saved believers, you have some real differences to overcome. Like you, I find porn offensive. I also believe it is a sin. He is after all looking at these pictures with lust in his heart. Thing is, your boyfriend doesnt see the harm in it, even tho it hurts you. You cant make him change. You can pray about it. You can explain to him why it is a problem. Ultimately the choice is his.

You wanted to know how to tell if he is the right one. Maybe you have your answer. This may be an irreconcilable difference. One way to know if he is or not is to ask God. Talk to the Lord in prayer. Ask Him to give you guidance. Give your relationship with your boyfriend over to the Lord and ask Him to develop it as He wants it done. Put the Lord first in your life, and all the rest will fall into place.

I hope this helps.

[Matthitjah]

Alisha,

God Bless you.

I see something about your post here. First off I want you to understand that God Loves you. I mean Jesus, He had to have you. So much so that He put off His Glory and set forth from heaven.(Most of us are just trying to make it on Faith.) He actually left there and Scripture says ,"He counted His equality with God as nothing. Shedding His Glory and taking up the Cross for you."

Now that in mind? I believe that He desires the best for you.

You are the object of His desire.

I see in your post that you are hungry for the Lord?

I have to tell you that as much as you desire to gain Christ? He desires more to gain you.

Scripture say's;

Mt

[Leonard]

Yes, I think your boyfriend was treating you rather shabbily to keep such posters around. And I think women treat their men rather shabbily when they keep those harlequin romance novels about. They are female pornography. They serve the same purpose for women as the dirty posters do for men. So lets address the issue, but be fair and balanced.....

[nebula]

Dear Alisha!

I am a young woman who as a child had first-hand exposure to what kind of damage a porn addiction can do.

My word to you is RUN!

I appreciate how much this young man's love means to you - but this problem he has (and yes it is a problem that he has) will only lead to your getting hurt more and more and more and more.

"Nice to look at" - my foot! They are stimulating his lust, and he's enjoying it. He is wrong, and he is justifying his sin.

Never, never, never give yourself to a man who cannot admit to his wrongs.

You deserve better than that.

(And you can quote me on that to this guy, if you want!)

Praying all this works for good for you!

[Orr v'emet]

I see something about your post here. First off I want you to understand that God Loves you. I mean Jesus, He had to have you. So much so that He put off His Glory and set forth from heaven.(Most of us are just trying to make it on Faith.) He actually left there and Scripture says ,"He counted His equality with God as nothing. Shedding His Glory and taking up the Cross for you."

I don't really want to hijack this thread but I wanted to say that this is a beautiful reminder of how deeply Jesus loves us. Thanks Dr. Luke!

[tsth]

Dear alisha,

I DO think you are right to be bothered by your bf's posters. We know what things are worthy and true and right. There is really no need to even ask if what he is displaying is right. It is an obvious thing to understand about our behavior IF we are truly a child of God.

Psalms 101:3 I will set nothing wicked before my eyes;

hey every1..im new it's polite to introduce myself so i will.. i'm from new zealand am 21 and have been a christian all of my life..during the past 3 years i have backslid so to speak not intentially but i am not reali going to church and am not as close to God as id like to be. I realise God is real and nothing will ever change that fact i cannot deny the experiences i have had in the past. I am so hungry for God but too lazy to go to the super market so to speak (church) ok so there'z sum info 4u about where im at.

I have been going out with a wonderful guy for 3 1/2 months who i have grown to love..he was brought up christian has good values and is quite alternative..i dont know if he is the one for me as i know that God has the right person for me and will bring us together in his timming..but how do i know if he is that one?

I will say that just because a young man was raised in a Christian home, does NOT mean that he is a Christian himself. We have to begin to be able to discern the actions of a Christian.

1 John 1:5 This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

We must look at what we claim and make sure it matches up with HIS WORD.

Listen to what is troubling you, and do what is right. May God bless you alisha.

May you hear His Words and believe.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[Guest Bro David™]

Yes, I think your boyfriend was treating you rather shabbily to keep such posters around.  And I think women treat their men rather shabbily when they keep those harlequin romance novels about.  They are female pornography.  They serve the same purpose for women as the dirty posters do for men.  So lets address the issue, but be fair and balanced.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok that was a good point, argument aside, pornography in any form male, female, novels, T.V shows and the most overlooked one is suggestion is still pornography.

Main Entry: por

[Imamom]

Jades suggestion is still the best, prayer from the girl towards healing of the boyfriend's perversion.

Prayer changes things.

We all were healed of something were we not.

Yes, I agree that Alisha should pray for the healing of the boyfriend's perversion.

You should also pray that you see how God will lead you in your situation.

I have to tell you that if you'll seek Jesus and His Love? This problem with this young man will be an afterthought

I also agree that you should seek after Jesus and His Love.

But remember

Thing is, your boyfriend doesnt see the harm in it, even tho it hurts you. You cant make him change. You can pray about it. You can explain to him why it is a problem. Ultimately the choice is his.

Don't accept less than what you're worth.

[darkest_red]

I think all of the above is very good advice. You are worth SO much more than this... don't let yourself be tricked into thinking otherwise.

My boyfriend has pictures of the Incredible Hulk on his wall.... should I be scared? You know... I'm not as green as Hulk....maybe he likes green people....