spouse vs friends

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, Running Gator said:

Yes.  With my job we sometimes have multi day schools that require us to be out of town from Monday to Thursday.  About 5 to 6 of us go and we stay at a hotel in our own rooms.   We eat dinner together and have been known to have a drink at the end of the night.   Then we go to our rooms and get ready go to bed. 

We are all adults and can control ourselves.  

The only thing about your scenario that is different is that it is not often, only once or twice a year. 

Is that right? Temptation never comes into it? That looks like a pride thing to me.  Tell all those who are no longer married this.

[Neighbor]

Ask how many office party  flirtations have begun incidences that have ended marriages left children without two parents together as a family unit. Ask how many  pastors elders counselors have ended up living with their secretary after leaving their wife. Ask how many jobs have been lost due to such situations, ask how many jobs have been left because of the threat of unwanted advances by a supervisor.  The situations we put ourselves into  do lead to the situation's consequences that cause us much grief.

We study King David, but we do not see the result of the first sin By him, that of not doing the work God has for him, that he not be led  into a situation where he later become enticed to indulge  in his sin  nature?  Do any of us think we are smarter stronger in faith than David and that we can ride out such enticements which are the result of following  a first sin that leads to being in  position to be enticed into a second one and a even a third for which we pay great price in our shame? To which we also one day hear that accusation - You are that man!

On a more  loosely related example;  this message board does not allow use of Youtube, for the very reason that additional  unwanted enticements and even ads come with it's use. Are we to complain that we just cannot use this board without also being able to post links to Youtube?  That we can surely avoid clicking on the inappropriate enticements from Youtube? Or is it, yes we can make the decision  to not go there at all, and still function quite well?

I think the better trainning for us is to learn to avoid the first enticement appearing, whether  on our computer screens or in the work place or office celebration occasion,  than it is to decide well it is part of this world  I won't let myself be led astray in any way. I can easily walk on the swampy waters and not end up stinking of the swamp.  Yeah sure lots of luck with that one. 

 

Edited November 2, 2017 by Neighbor

[Running Gator]

6 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Is that right? Temptation never comes into it? That looks like a pride thing to me.  Tell all those who are no longer married this.

We are now getting into a separate issue.  First this was about appearance now it is about temptation. 

As for temptation, we all have things that tempt us and we should stay away from those things.  When I was in the Marines I did 6 month deployments.  During such times you learn what tempts you and you either learn to avoid that situation or you lost to it.  So, going to the club and drinking when there are women around that provide that temptation is not a good idea.  But if just the mere fact that there are women you know that are staying in the same hotel causes you to cheat on your spouse, then the hotel was not the problem. 

If someone is wanting to have an affair they do not need to go away to different cities to do so. 

 

Also, I would like to add my response about the new job you mentioned.   I was a bit hasty in my reply, depending on what you mean by "often" I would maybe turn down the promotion if it meant being away from home a lot.   Not because there might be women at the hotel, but because I spent too much of my early married years apart I choose not to do so now. 

 

Edited November 2, 2017 by Running Gator

[Neighbor]

I'll be even more specific with example. Look at Youtube Christian songs. Click on one by a secular artist. Now see what  is listed on the right hand column, is it not more secular stuff with  some rather enticing to the lesser pursuits of the eye? Click on one of those and what comes up? It is more suggestive and inappropriate material. Now go on to any link,  on any subject, what kind of ads start popping up on the computer screen?  Whoa where is that coming from, eh?

Did the images and messages change in tone from  perhaps innocent, to subtle, to glaringly obvious inticement to engage in  most unprductive and sinfilled activities?- some that may not even have been known of before?

And then; do they not keep coming again and again every time the computer is turned  to the internet? There is that trail of cookies isn't there? Each of us ( our computers) is known to an enticer. Our "errors", our failings are  of record, and even when cookies are deleted and routers erased, there is an external source that re-identifies at some level, and  we are known. It is like that with  all of life too! We are known (We are known in three dimensional life by our actions too!).

We each may think ourselves to be free of consequence from our playing with matches, but there is a little sulfer in the air that gives us away, and besides  God knows. So we need to know also, and not be the fool that says- no harm in this, I can handle it. 

Edited November 2, 2017 by Neighbor

[Running Gator]

15 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

Ask how many office party  flirtations have begun incidences that have ended marriages left children without two parents together as a family unit. Ask how many  pastors elders counselors have ended up living with their secretary after leaving their wife. Ask how many jobs have been lost due to such situations, ask how many jobs have been left because of the threat of unwanted advances by a supervisor.  The situations we put ourselves into  do lead to the situation's consequences that cause us much grief.

We study King David, but we do not see the result of the first sin By him, that of not doing the work God has for him, that he not be led  into a situation where he later become enticed to indulge  in his sin  nature?  Do any of us think we are smarter stronger in faith than David and that we can ride out such enticements which are the result of following  a first sin that leads to being in  position to be enticed into a second one and a even a third for which we pay great price in our shame? To which we also one day hear that accusation - You are that man!

On a more  loosely related example;  this message board does not allow use of Youtube, for the very reason that additional  unwanted enticements and even ads come with it's use. Are we to complain that we just cannot use this board without also being able to post links to Youtube?  That we can surely avoid clicking on the inappropriate enticements from Youtube? Or is it, yes we can make the decision  to not go there at all, and still function quite well?

I think the better trainning for us is to learn to avoid the first enticement appearing, whether  on our computer screens or in the work place or office celebration occasion,  than it is to decide well it is part of this world  I won't let myself be led astray in any way. I can easily walk on the swampy waters and not end up stinking of the swamp.  Yeah sure lots of luck with that one. 

 

I would agree with this, if one is enticed by having a woman in the car with them, then they should not be alone with a woman in a car.  If the act of being away from home in a hotel where there are members of the opposite gender are an enticement to a person, they should avoid such a situation.  If watching a video on YouTube about how to fix a broken side mirror on your car entices a person to click on "bad" videos, then they should find a different way to learn how to fix their car.   If those things are not a problem for a person, there is no reason to "avoid" them. 

[Neighbor]

2 hours ago, Running Gator said:

I would agree with this, if one is enticed by having a woman in the car with them, then they should not be alone with a woman in a car.  If the act of being away from home in a hotel where there are members of the opposite gender are an enticement to a person, they should avoid such a situation.  If watching a video on YouTube about how to fix a broken side mirror on your car entices a person to click on "bad" videos, then they should find a different way to learn how to fix their car.   If those things are not a problem for a person, there is no reason to "avoid" them. 

Lots of "luck" to you Gator.

Having been in service industries ( Funeral industry, Hotel industry, Landlord residential real estate,  and even church as a workplace) for all of my working life time, I have been around so much sad consequence of people making wrong decisions when enticed that I feel like I could do a parady of the Traveler's Insurance ads on the kinds of accidents they have seen,  only on how sins play out on people.

Keep sticking your fingers in open light sockets, so to speak. You will eventually find one is live. Hey for a real thrill try wetting your fingers first and tempting such an event to occur. You can do it, you will get away with, it no problem, none.  You  will never find a single light socket to be hot, there will never ever be a broken switch, it never happens, so go ahead, hey go barefoot too, for you are invincible right? Yeah sure.

Know there is trouble in the air seeking a place to land right now, even this day. Don't turn the landing lights on to your runway. No sir, don't do it.

ps enough from me on this one, can't say enough, but then some will never learn even after they get the shock of their life they will go right back for more, and never learn the how or why of what got them.

Edited November 2, 2017 by Neighbor

[Running Gator]

9 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

Lots of "luck" to you Gator.

Having been in service industries ( Funeral industry, Hotel industry, Landlord residential real estate,  and even church as a workplace) for all of my working life time, I have been around so much sad consequence of people making wrong decisions when enticed that I feel like I could do a parady of the Traveler's Insurance ads on the kinds of accidents they have seen,  only on how sins play out on people.

Keep sticking your fingers in open light sockets, so to speak. You will eventually find one is live. Hey for a real thrill try wetting your fingers first and tempting such an event to occur. You can do it, you will get away with, it no problem, none.  You  will never find a single light socket to be hot, there will never ever be a broken switch, it never happens, so go ahead, hey go barefoot too, for you are invincible right? Yeah sure.

Know there is trouble in the air seeking a place to land right now, even this day. Don't turn the landing lights on to your runway. No sir, don't do it.

ps enough from me on this one, can't say enough, but then some will never learn even after they get the shock of thier life they will go right back for more, and never learn the how or why of what got them.

I do appreciate your concern, but I do not need luck as I have the Lord and I have true love for my wife. 

It seems that you view situations as thrilling, as people pushing themselves to the very limit of temptation without falling over the line.   I view them as normal every day events that are no more thrilling or tempting than stopping at a red light on the way to work. 

If the mere act of being in a hotel knowing that there are members of the opposite gender there as well is a thrilling test of one's limits, then the problem lies not with the hotel or the situation but with the individual themselves. 

I am not speaking hypothetically when I say these things, I am speaking from my own person experiences.   20 years in the Marines, of which probably 5 was spent away from home.  Much of that time away was in month to 6 month increments in places like Thailand and the Philippines where one has access to every sort of vice and perversion.   Going to places where you would be tempted by those things would match your light socket analogy. 

But if driving in a car with a woman is that thrilling then I will say again the problem is the person and not the situation.   I personally find it sad that there are people that cannot be in the vicinity of members of the opposite gender without it being a thrilling enticement to do wrong. 

[Guest shiloh357]

11 hours ago, Running Gator said:

 

It is my opinion that people totally misuse the 1 The 5:22 and that the KJV actually mistranslated the verse.  The ESV gets it right...Abstain from every form of evil.

No, it is not a mistranslation from the KJV at all.  Changing "appearance" to "form" does not change the meaning of the verse at all.

[Running Gator]

56 minutes ago, shiloh357 said:

No, it is not a mistranslation from the KJV at all.  Changing "appearance" to "form" does not change the meaning of the verse at all.

It gives is a totally different meaning.  

Having a beer in your fridge can be said to give the appearance of evil but is not a form of evil. 

One could argue that driving alone in a car with a member of the opposite gender who is not your spouse or family member gives the appearance of evil, but it is not a form of evil. 

Adultery is a form of evil, eating a dinner with  a member of the opposite gender who is not your spouse or family member is not

 

 

Edited November 2, 2017 by Running Gator

[vlad]

On 10/31/2017 at 6:38 AM, creativemechanic said:

Something that interested me in a sermon i heard. Tell me what you think. Whose advice would you think is more appropriate

"You gotta respect her wishes" appeals to me.