pulling the plug on a loved one

[Neighbor]

 Whether it is easy or hard likely doesn't resolve the issue for the person that asked the question.

 Perhaps it is both easy for one person, and hard for another.

It has been terrible for me each time. I said four times now, but actually it has been five times that I have been involved, will have one more soon, and have been surprised by  yet another just today. Easy? So far for me, it has been absolutely horrible, having to stay awake hospital  bedside or hospice bedside days on end doing battle to see that the very best care is given. It is the furthest thing from easy that I have ever experienced. If it is easy for another, great  I am glad that it comes so easily for them. 

Regardless a decision and a process needs to be fought out. May God be merciful and comforting upon each person that has the responsibility for making these decisions.

[Neighbor]

22 minutes ago, Butero said:

It is easy when they stated their wishes and a promise was made.  It would be hard if you didn't know their feelings.

Okay sounds easy, but I am going to enter into why it doesn't work out that way, by personal experience. No on second thought I am not. I'll just say that life's events get in the way of the best of plans and instructions. It becomes a war being fought, and like the generals's that plan out the battle learn it all gets changed when the first artillery shell lands. From then on it is a free for all of turmoil, fatigue, anguish, disappointments, and pain. Again, may God provide the energy and strength for the battle.

[Guest Butero]

2 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

 Whether it is easy or hard likely doesn't resolve the issue for the person that asked the question.

 Perhaps it is both easy for one person, and hard for another.

It has been terrible for me each time. I said four times now, but actually it has been five times that I have been involved, will have one more soon, and have been surprised by  yet another just today. Easy? So far for me, it has been absolutely horrible, having to stay awake hospital  bedside or hospice bedside days on end doing battle to see that the very best care is given. It is the furthest thing from easy that I have ever experienced. If it is easy for another, great  I am glad that it comes so easily for them. 

Regardless a decision and a process needs to be fought out. May God be merciful and comforting upon each person that has the responsibility for making these decisions.

Christians should be able to be trusted to keep their word on something this serious, especially a promise to your own Mother.  That is why it would be easy for me.  Who cares how the doctors feel?  They didn't make the promise and it is not their Mother.

[Neighbor]

Just now, Butero said:

Christians should be able to be trusted to keep their word on something this serious, especially a promise to your own Mother.  That is why it would be easy for me.  Who cares how the doctors feel?  They didn't make the promise and it is not their Mother.

None of that is the issue. I just  am not going to hijack the thread to go into it all with you. You are entitled to your opinion. I simply share that once into it  it is not an easy smooth ride. It is  hellish. Try having two at the same time 2800 miles apart, see how smooth and easy it goes. perhaps a discussion at another time and place.

[Guest Butero]

1 minute ago, Neighbor said:

None of that is the issue. I just  am not going to hijack the thread to go into it all with you. You are entitled to your opinion. I simply share that once into it  it is not an easy smooth ride. It is  hellish. Try having two at the same time 2800 miles apart, see how smooth and easy it goes. perhaps a discussion at another time and place.

What is hard about keeping your word?  You just tell the doctors what her wishes were and don't pull the plug.  How is that hard?

[Behold]

 

-

A few years ago., My mother had a heart attack and  then the 911 didnt respond after the 1st call was made to them for help.

The EMT station is less then a mile from her home, but i was 12 miles away.

I talked to her husband, as he had called me that Thursday morning at 5:27am, and told me "your mother is not doing well", and she got on the phone and said....>"my chest is burning, and i feel dizzy".

So, as any Son should do, i jumped in the car and headed to her..........> . Now, this was a mistake, as i should have called 911....but, she was talking, and it was early, and i was instantly in.... "protect mama" mode.

I arrived 18 mins later, and there is a "Life Flight" Helicopter sitting in the street in front of my Mother's home.

Next, as i pass my ashen faced stepfather who is barely responding to me, as he is tottering on the front porch in a daze, i rush inside her home to be grabbed by 2 of the 4 EMTs who have only just arrived mins earlier,  after the 2nd 911 call was made, ( again by stepfather).

As they are not letting me into the bedroom where my mother is laying on the floor with the other 2 EMT's at her side, (as she collapsed seconds after our phone call), i can  smell her burned flesh, as this is the aftereffect  of a panic'd EMT team who realize that my mother's now brain dead condition is a result of them not being sent (first call)  14 mins earlier by the 911 Dispatcher  (that one mile), that would have saved her brain .....And so in their panic, this burning flesh i smell, is a result of the  11 Defibrillator applications they shocked her with.....that's right , 11 times they shocked her heart.

And before this, they were so aggressive with their heart massage, that they broke her ribs........which i discovered later during the first few X-Ray exams and explanations.

Now, all this, is a worst case scenario gone crazy...  and........3 Mins later, as her beautiful green eyes are "fixed and dilated", she passes me on her cart, on the way to the chopper to be life lifted and flown to a waiting ER team, who Cath her heart, and open the block, and leave me with a brain dead mother, for about a YEAR.

The Cath doc tells me later......"yep, her vessel opened like a flower, ... too bad her brain is dead".........and that is a QUOTE. !

During that next year, i fought nurses, staff, management, and even court, to try to get them to not kill her when i was not able to stay in the hospital to protect her from a system that wants the BED, and does not want to keep the "veggie" alive.

In the end, she bled out, about a year later, as i again stayed all night with her.... and i was the one soaking up the blood as it was running out of her eyes, and all other "openings", until a nurse came in that morning, lied to me, and told me after examining her that "there is no sound in the body", and the machine could be turned off ""......... And i agreed, and once the air stopped, my mother's eyes flew open, and she began to gag like a fish on land trying to breath, and i had to watch her die like this, in my arms,...took about 3 mins.... as the lying "christian"  nurse didnt know how to program the Ventilator, and the Respiratory Techs were not on the right floor, as this was winter and they were dealing with many cases of flu and worse, and had no time to come and give my mom her air back.....so, she (her body) died, looking into my eyes, as she finally stopped gagging and jerking and was still.

So, that is how it can be  TurtleTwo, if you are guilt tripping, feel like you are losing it...... and are the one who is become the person who is there for your mother when all others are slowly turning away and leaving it up to you, and they will...they will leave you and you will be alone with this issue.

 

So, Here is what you do TurtleTwo.., take my advice............and im assuming your mother is saved..

Give her exactly 2 weeks from her "heart event"  to open her eyes and speak to you..........2 weeks.

Is she does not, then she is gone, and you are to let her body follow her Spirit that has already gone to be with the Lord.

 

Final answer.

 

 

 

God help you,

 

 

B

 

Edited March 13, 2018 by Behold

[john1]

6 hours ago, turtletwo said:

I'm being pressured to pull the plug on my mother who had cardiac arrest on Friday

If that was you mothers  wishes I would respect them, I wouldn't want what she wants, but it's her life, not mine.

Luke chapter 18 verse 1

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

 

[Guest Butero]

How in the world can anyone assume she won't recover if she doesn't respond after two weeks?  

Keep your word to your Mother or you will have to live with the guilt you didn't.  

[Neighbor]

42 minutes ago, Butero said:

What is hard about keeping your word?  You just tell the doctors what her wishes were and don't pull the plug.  How is that hard?

I just  am not going to hijack the thread further to go into it all with you at this time. Thanks anyway, bye for now.

[Guest Butero]

Just now, Neighbor said:

I just  am not going to hijack the thread further to go into it all with you at this time. Thanks anyway, bye for now.

I remember you saying that.  Nothing you could tell me about your past experiences would matter anyway.  This is the easiest, clear cut situation I have encountered.  We know her desire.  He promised to honor it.  She put her trust in him to do what he can to keep her alive.  No personal tragedies change that.