Why I left my church and family.

[Guest PinkBelt]

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

Edited July 14, 2018 by PinkBelt

[Michael37]

32 minutes ago, PinkBelt said:

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

And the boyfriend, PinkBelt?

[Blood Bought 1953]

1 hour ago, PinkBelt said:

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

 

 

Great to see that you escaped the insanity of your previous years.....no wonder you are happier.The charity and compassion of which you speak are great things......I hope you realize they play no part in your salvation...could you expand on the Red Letter thingy? What does it say about salvation?God bless.

[Debp]

2 hours ago, PinkBelt said:

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

I do not endorse a legalistic, uncompassionate, domineering church....but I also wonder about your boyfriend?   Although we should be loving Christians, we should still seek to walk with Jesus in ways that honor Him and His name as followers of Christ.

[Guest PinkBelt]

1 hour ago, Yowm said:

Although your growing up experience is pretty much a caricature of what the Christian faith is not, neither is the 'red letter theology' the Christianity of the Bible which at least covers from Matthew to Revelation.

That's a pretty bold claim. Why are they and, (by extension of your claim), myself not Christian?

[Michael37]

5 hours ago, Yowm said:

  14 hours ago, Michael37 said:

I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption

Please Note: I, Michael37, did not make this comment as shown in the quote bearing my appellation. It should read PinkBelt. This error has been reported and hopefully will not reoccur. Gremlins get thee hence! ?️

Edited July 14, 2018 by Michael37
gremlins

[Guest PinkBelt]

6 hours ago, Cobalt1959 said:

The largest problem is that while you claim that you, and the Red Letter movement eschew "right" or "left," that is actually not true.  The Red Letter movement was formulated by people like Jim Wallis, Richard Rohr, Brian McLaren and Tony Campolo.  All 4 of these men preach a Social Gospel not found in the Bible.  All of them are part of the Emergent Church movement that hates Evangelicals with a passion.  All of them preach a Liberal doctrine that says there really is no such thing as sin and any behavior is fine as long as you say Jesus' name once in awhile and make everything good by inserting the word "love" in the concept.  In other words, the Red Letter movement is 100% Liberal.

The main problem with Liberal Christianity adherents is that they only use Jesus when it is convenient to do so.  They will use him to further un-biblical concepts like wealth re-distribution, gay marriage and "everything is OK as long as 'love' is the focus" logic, but when it comes to sin, repentance and actual fixed moral values, Liberal Christianity adherents become limp-wristed mumblers who distance themselves from the moral absolutes that Jesus talks about all the time like they are a communicable disease. 

I will also point out that as a two-time Obama voter, you voted for a person who was amoral to the core.  You voted for a person who was the most avid fanboy of abortion I have ever seen, next to Cecil Richards.  Cecil Richards is the president of Planned Parenthood and one of the people who thinks it is perfectly acceptable to part out an aborted fetus like it was a junk car and sell the child's parts to the highest bidder.  The Obama administration did absolutely nothing to stop this violation of U.S. law.  Also, your use of the word "jingoism" would mean that you believe, to some degree that patriotism is the by-product of rampant racism by every white person in America.  There is no other reason to use the word, which has just about as much validity as "homophobe."  In other words, a vote for Obama said you support abhorrent moral practices such as abortion and homosexuality.  Do you believe these behaviors are acceptable to Christ?

That you don't like the red letter "movement" (for lack of a better term), which believes the church has become to enmeshed in politics because they don't embrace your politics makes me chuckle. None of what you said is based in reality so I'll leave it there.

Edited July 15, 2018 by PinkBelt

[Guest PinkBelt]

On 7/14/2018 at 11:29 PM, Cobalt1959 said:

It isn't that easy.  You were the one that made the comment that you were neither "left" nor "right."  That was a false statement.  The Red Letter movement is decidedly Left-leaning.  They don't get more Left-leaning than the founder of the RLM,  Jim Wallis.  You know, that guy that runs the Social Justice website "Sojourners?"  The guy that was Obama's personal "faith" advisor?  You set up a false dichotomy and then try and pretend like just saying something makes it true.

Liberals like Jim Wallis find the concept of sin and repentance repugnant.  You seem to find it repugnant as well because you refused to deal with it and you claim you like where you are because it is "come as you are."  Liberal Christianity is all about politics and feelings.  It is not about anything else.  It certainly is not about Jesus, repentance or moral values.  Conservative Christianity is not "enmeshed" in politics.  Conservative Christianity rightly believes that there are still things that are morally wrong.  That is something Liberal Christianity does not believe.  Conservative Christianity believes there is still personal responsibility for each person.  Liberal Christianity does not.  Conservative Christians believe you still have to repent of your sins, and turn away from them to actually be saved.  Liberal Christianity does not.  Everything a Liberal supports is 100% amoral.  Since you embrace a movement begun by a person who unashamedly admits he is Liberal, that makes you Liberal as well, or you would not follow him.

What I find amusing is that you would unashamedly tell everyone you were an Obama supporter but then tell everyone how amoral Trump is.  Hypocrisy at it's best.  I'll ask the question again, since you failed to answer it:

In other words, a vote for Obama said you support abhorrent moral practices such as abortion and homosexuality.  Do you believe these behaviors are acceptable to Christ?

You obviously hate "liberals" and are only interested in attacking me. You are trying to goad me into defending Jim Wallis and railing about your pet social issues. I'm not biting. 

 

None of what you said is accurate, and if it was you'd prove it. I follow the teachings of Christ and anytime a persons words and his come into conflict, the person loses automatically. 

Edited August 11, 2018 by PinkBelt

[Michael37]

1 minute ago, PinkBelt said:

You obviously hate "liberals" and are only interested in attacking me. You are trying to goad me into defending Jim Wallis and railing about your pet social issues. I'm not biting. 

 

None of what you said is accurate, and if it was you'd prove it. I follow the teachings of Christ and anytime a persons words and his come into conflict, the person loses automatically. 

What about your boyfriend?

[notsolostsoul]

2 hours ago, PinkBelt said:

I follow the teachings of Christ and anytime a persons words and his come into conflict, the person loses automatically. 

 Agreed!!!

 He didn't say anything about "Man's way" being the way.

John 14:6 King James Version (KJV)

6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me

Acts 4:12 King James Version (KJV)

12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

Stay in/with Christ!!!!