Order of authority.

[Guest Bro David™]

It's a curse how women flock to me .....

God Broke the Mould after he made me.....

Changed your mind yet ?

[mrs]

I think I side with butter on this.

[nebula]

Nebula, I am just curious, not picking an argument or trying to discourage you or  anything.  Okay? 

No prob!

  I can understand your father having authority over you, if you are living in his home, but how does a brother have authority over you?  I understand that in some cultures, this is done, but seriously, I don't understand it.

I'll put it this way . . . ever have an older sibling boss you around?

I've discovered there's this thing I call older brother syndrome. This is the attitude older brothers tend to have towards younger siblings:

"I'm older than you.

I'm stronger than you.

I have power over you.

I know it.

And you know it.

And I'm going to take full advantage of it!"

I wonder about this too, why do you feel that you submit to your father and brother?

Up to a certain age I can understand your father having autorithy over you, but not anymore and your brother has no authorithy at all.

Biblically?

Who is the spiritual covering of a single woman?

(And I still live with my dad.)

As for brother . . . see above.

For the record, they have both been getting better - but I still have my sensativities to this.)

[angels4u]

Nebula,

Of course you have to live under his rules if you still live home, but he should respect you enough to let you make your OWN decisions,you're not a little girl anymore and don't feel bad about it. Respect him and let him know you appreciate his concerns but that its up to you to decide how you live and what you believe and whatever decision you have to make.

Can you agree?

[Guest Ahdiba]

I'm the youngest in the family, also, but my brothers never treated me like that. My sister tried until I became stronger than she when I was 13, held her down on the floor without letting her up, and then let her up out of the goodness (??) of my heart. I was victoriuos, and I wore that smirk -- you know, that one. But then, I realized that she had no power over me, and we could be friends. We are to this day. I LOVE her -- and all my other siblings.

My brothers will tell me things, but they would not think of trying to force their opinions on me. I guess I don't understand what you are going through.

For one thing, I have read a few of your posts and thought you to be older. You write very maturely for a young person, from the posts I have read.

[nebula]

No, you were correct, I am older.

I'm just taking a long time getting to where I can afford to live on my own.

I've been going back to school the past few years, too.

[Gerioke]

I'll put it this way . . . ever have an older sibling boss you around?

I've discovered there's this thing I call older brother syndrome. This is the attitude older brothers tend to have towards younger siblings:

"I'm older than you.

I'm stronger than you.

I have power over you.

I know it.

And you know it.

And I'm going to take full advantage of it!"

I thought girls were smarter than boys.

I think you let your brother push you around and you are going to zing him when the timing is right

[nebula]

I don't know, Geri -

In person I am such a mouse!

And I don't stand against anger too well.

[Guest Ahdiba]

Nebula, Oh, I am such a trouble-maker. But you are likely stuffing a lot of anger inside. While I can understand tiptoeing around your father, since you are in a situation that make it necessary to live in their home, your brother has no authority over you. I pray that you will learn quickly how to stand up to him.

Nebula, I was held down and held back by my parents for years, long after I was an adult, but not by my siblings. The only way I could exist with some semblance of normalcy was to live far from them and eventually to cut them out of my life. I am still paying their emotional debt. Please don't do this to yourself. You are too precious.

Edited June 12, 2005 by Ahdiba