Is the Church Breeding Loneliness?

[walla299]

Quote

Is the church breeding loneliness? Rosaria Butterfield answers yes.

She believes we have declared independence from each other in our culture and, sadly, in our churches. Once upon a time, the church was “of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common” (Acts 4:32). Shared time, shared food, shared possessions. Shared identity. They were the early church — a family bound together by the blood of Jesus.

Many of our churches today have left behind that picture of the family of God, though. The contemporary Western church’s “absolutely low or nonexistent culture of family of God” has fostered an unparalleled depth of loneliness, with single women in particular buried at the bottom.

Link to the Full Article on Desiringgod.org

I saw this article and thought it might make a good discussion topic. I may not agree with her on all points, but she does make some valid points about the Western Church (though certainly not all local churches.) 

 

[Michael37]

39 minutes ago, walla299 said:

Link to the Full Article on Desiringgod.org

I saw this article and thought it might make a good discussion topic. I may not agree with her on all points, but she does make some valid points about the Western Church (though certainly not all local churches.) 

 

Hi walla299, I hope you are not among the "lonely ones" who struggle to build lasting friendships within the body of Christ. Thankyou for the link and the train of thought it pursues. 

Loneliness among Christians and other error-induced problems are good topics for discussion and are close to my heart as a consequence of battling against them in the past. Having been raised Anglican and the son of a "vicar" [loathesome word to the enlightened], I believe I am qualified to comment on the inherent flaws of the hierarchical institutional structure known generally as the church, and to point to the solution in Christ and His Word.

Often those who strive for elevation and leadership in denominations and congregations subscribe to an abominable teaching of ancient origin, that the mystique of leadership must be maintained by keeping "the people" at arms length. In large congregations this manifests as a pecking order of cliques that range down from the elite to the unwashed. Sometimes attempts are made to overcome social awkwardness by having a specially appointed person known as a "hospitality steward", who looks for newcomers and makes introductions, but what is required is instruction and nurture on how to build relationships that go beyond the superficial and artificial measures of the institution as it tries to resemble the ekklesia of God without knowing what it actually is. I am pleased to read this assessment below from the link supplied:

      

Rosaria strongly warns against homogeneous small groups, particularly those that separate by age, sex, season of life, or common sin struggles. “What single women need are not more single women. What young families need are not more young families.” Why? Rosaria continues, “Small groups that are organized by a sociological category really weaken relationships across differences in a church. And it weakens our ability to really serve one another.”

Rosaria encourages us to “leave room for real, organic friendships.” Christ is our commonality, and we are members of his body. And when we exhibit our unity by blood as we interact across our differences, we not only serve each other; we give the world a picture of genuine fellowship and the One who enables it.

[Neighbor]

Since I disagree with the opening premise, I guess I must disagree with the conclusion  built up from with see as a  flawed foundation.

The early churches were quite different one from another, not homogenous. Paul inspired by God was the human author of many a correction to individual churches regarding their rrelationships between leaders and individuals of each church and  between the different churches as each and their own faults, as well as som ehaving their own unigue fine qualities.

Paul encouraged and scolded, regarding relationships as well as  regarding raising of funds for the church at Jerusalem by the other churches,  as example. The church at Corinth could not even "share" the Lord's supper memorial and had to be scolded, and recorded and used as example of their failing for all  time through even today in every Bible written for every Christian and every non believer to read of and know. I don't understand how anyone can read the Bible accounts of the early churches and conclude they were all united as were all the people within them each helping one another  and no one having more than another or less. Seems to me that God used the differences and the disparities to force separation and dispersion all to serve His good purposes.

Christians are to go into all the world with the gospel, but if the early church had been homogenous of thought assets and deeds there might be but only one church through to today at Jerusalem alone. Instead though  by disagreement discomfort early argument among leaders the gospel moved ( dispersed ) about to many places and there became many churches espousing the gospel of Jesus even as there was wrangling between disciples, members  and local leaders.

 

The idea that there was once one ideal church and that now there is not seems to be severely flawed from the get go.

[Neighbor]

Are churches breeding loneliness? Yes of course. It causes great strife because it serves the purpose of God . It can  and does put and pit brother against brother sister against sister parent against child all over the gospel of Jesus. The Christian is in this world but not  of it. That alone makes the Christian a sojourner.  

God has directly warned his own  from even before encarnation  “You shall not oppress a sojourner. You know the heart of a sojourner, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt." 

There has always been need for God to lecture and command toward kindness and friendliness, sharing ( but not equally ), and so it still is today. There has always been the rich and th epoor and there will be rich and the poor going forward. Not all will  set up their own treasure in heaven equally.

[Michael37]

If someone's fellowship experience comprises a handshake and "welcome to church" at the door, an usher directing them to a pew where they sit for the duration with no interaction between them and the others assembled, and then a quick exit with no eye contact as the last song is played, not only is this isolating them, it is depriving others of Scripture-based contact . This is why we teach:
(14)  that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting,
(15)  but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—
(16)  from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love. Eph 4:14-16

[Who me]

It really depends on the people in the church, how they have organised the church and the willingness of people to be involved.

Most single women form close friendships and support groups with other women. They tend to have a higher proportion of singles init for two reasons.

Singles can more easily drop everuthing and come running. They don't present the problem of childlessness and husbandlessness that married women present.

That said any church organising small groups, home study cells, fellowship circles etc etc will arrange a mix of ages and single/married.

There is also nothing stopping the young adualts in a church from organising there own social and spiritual activities and from sharing those activities with others in similar churches.

 

[Tigger56]

13 hours ago, walla299 said:

Link to the Full Article on Desiringgod.org

I saw this article and thought it might make a good discussion topic. I may not agree with her on all points, but she does make some valid points about the Western Church (though certainly not all local churches.) 

 

Sorry, I don't know the lady you quoted and haven't read the article yet. I believe our society is breeding loneliness. That may seem strange with facebook, twitter, cell phones, and forums like this... but families, neighbors and yes church members aren't as close as they once were. I miss the times of a front porch here in the south. There was a time in our nation when neighbors came by to visit or you visited them and spent time talking. I remember sitting with an elderly gentleman a number of years ago on his front porch and he had his grandchildren playing in the yard. I took a moment and showed a boy how to tie a string around the back legs of a junebug and have it fly over his head like a spinning top. The older gentleman just sat back and smiled and said he hadn't seen that in years. It was just the spending of time in visiting. Our world has gotten too busy, to much noise and too many things to do. It breeds loneliness. I do believe our churches have failed to meet the needs of spiritually strengthening and feeding the community. I feel too many churches have blended too much into society and have failed to maintain the high moral road many need to strengthen them and this also causes a lack of fellowship and bonding which also breeds loneliness.

[BorderCowboy]

I don't believe so. My church is mighty in fellowship, ya always have many takin' your back. And I am mighty grateful to God for bringin' them  into my life!

[shortangel]

this is exactly where me & my parents were faced with when we attended our former church,  we felt uncomfortable there & in a certain sense we were sort of lonely there,  we had been to a couple of small groups but the people sounded like they only cared about themselves & really didn't help us grow in our faith, 

[AnOrangeCat]

I've personally felt that the church hit something along the lines of a technology induced speed bump somewhere in recent history. Just within a lot of our lifetimes we've had some real game changers to human society, for good and for ill. I do feel like that has created one of the widest generation gaps and lifestyle changes in human history, which also puts a gap between mature Christians and the younger generation of believers. In ways I could see this creating a sense of loneliness in some, but it's not the church's fault. It's something that hit humanity as a whole. As this tech saturated generation grows and as young leaders rise up within the church the gap will close.