What is love?

[Jacob7688]

Hey everyone, 

 

(Truly sorry for my broken english)

I Direct messaged a girl from instagram. We clicked instantly and talked for 4 months without dating(she wasn’t ready to see me). The moment i saw her i was let down by some physical stuff i didn’t like. She isn’t ugly by any means. She just didn’t look like her pictures. She had an overbite(which she says she’s gonna have jaw surgery for it) and her face wasn’t as pretty in person. But i was already hooked by the time we met... and now her looks are bothering me.
 

She is the perfect woman. She is kind, loving, thoughtful, smart, intelligent and most importantly she is a believer. I don’t know what to do i really like her personality and character but her outer beauty wasn’t what i was expecting.

am i the problem here? Is my brain malfunctioning because of social media and seeing perfect women online the whole day so my expectations are not realistic...(btw i’m 24) or i don’t know what love is?

I believe that i shouldn’t be concerned by her looks because she is such a great woman but I feel that i’m not worthy of her because of my attitude now and even tough i say it shouldn’t concern me it still bothers me... I am praying every hour so the Lord may guide me and help me in my decision. I would greatly appreciate any help??

 

[Justin Adams]

15 minutes ago, Jacob7688 said:

Hey everyone, 

 

(Truly sorry for my broken english)

I Direct messaged a girl from instagram. We clicked instantly and talked for 4 months without dating(she wasn’t ready to see me). The moment i saw her i was let down by some physical stuff i didn’t like. She isn’t ugly by any means. She just didn’t look like her pictures. She had an overbite(which she says she’s gonna have jaw surgery for it) and her face wasn’t as pretty in person. But i was already hooked by the time we met... and now her looks are bothering me.
 

She is the perfect woman. She is kind, loving, thoughtful, smart, intelligent and most importantly she is a believer. I don’t know what to do i really like her personality and character but her outer beauty wasn’t what i was expecting.

am i the problem here? Is my brain malfunctioning because of social media and seeing perfect women online the whole day so my expectations are not realistic...(btw i’m 24) or i don’t know what love is?

I believe that i shouldn’t be concerned by her looks because she is such a great woman but I feel that i’m not worthy of her because of my attitude now and even tough i say it shouldn’t concern me it still bothers me... I am praying every hour so the Lord may guide me and help me in my decision. I would greatly appreciate any help??

 

Ahh. You should be so lucky. If she is true. If she knows what a wife truly should be. If she has compassion and an inner strength.. If she is demure and faithful. If she will stand at your back and you feel safe with her guarding your life. If these things are true, then what are you waiting for? Looks are very deceptive. Dangerous snares. They lie.

 

[Jacob7688]

3 minutes ago, Justin Adams said:

Ahh. You should be so lucky. If she is true. If she knows what a wife truly should be. If she has compassion and an inner strength.. If she is demure and faithful. If she will stand at your back and you feel safe with her guarding your life. If these things are true, then what are you waiting for? Looks are very deceptive. Dangerous snares. They lie.

 

But shouldn’t you also be 100% attracted physically to your future wife? So God forbid one day you start looking at other women just because you wasn’t in love with the girl you married?

[Justin Adams]

6 minutes ago, Jacob7688 said:

But shouldn’t you also be 100% attracted physically to your future wife? So God forbid one day you start looking at other women just because you wasn’t in love with the girl you married?

It never works that way in real life. Infatuation is a slippery slope. Attraction is misunderstood. It takes a person of emotionless bravado to really see what is what. I doubt you can really tell at this early stage. Your minds have to be mutually attracted and your actual 'elan' has to be connected. Compromise is at the heart of any good marriage. Learn it soon and learn it well. You will ALWAYS have to compromise in small or great matters.

Edited December 9, 2019 by Justin Adams

[Coliseum]

7 minutes ago, Justin Adams said:

It never works that way in real life. Infatuation is a slippery slope. Attraction is misunderstood. It takes a person of emotionless bravado to really see what is what. I doubt you can really tell at this early stage. Your minds have to be mutually attracted and your actual 'elan' has to be connected. Compromise is at the heart of any good marriage. Learn it soon and learn it well. You will ALWAYS have to compromise in small or great matters.

 

40 minutes ago, Jacob7688 said:

Hey everyone, 

 

(Truly sorry for my broken english)

I Direct messaged a girl from instagram. We clicked instantly and talked for 4 months without dating(she wasn’t ready to see me). The moment i saw her i was let down by some physical stuff i didn’t like. She isn’t ugly by any means. She just didn’t look like her pictures. She had an overbite(which she says she’s gonna have jaw surgery for it) and her face wasn’t as pretty in person. But i was already hooked by the time we met... and now her looks are bothering me.
 

She is the perfect woman. She is kind, loving, thoughtful, smart, intelligent and most importantly she is a believer. I don’t know what to do i really like her personality and character but her outer beauty wasn’t what i was expecting.

am i the problem here? Is my brain malfunctioning because of social media and seeing perfect women online the whole day so my expectations are not realistic...(btw i’m 24) or i don’t know what love is?

I believe that i shouldn’t be concerned by her looks because she is such a great woman but I feel that i’m not worthy of her because of my attitude now and even tough i say it shouldn’t concern me it still bothers me... I am praying every hour so the Lord may guide me and help me in my decision. I would greatly appreciate any help??

 

You are honest with your feelings and that is tough in front of the whole world. As you know, God's beauty is not about outward appearance, but rather what is in the heart. Love is much deeper. So many beautiful women can be very shallow because they want to appear appealing to a man's physical needs, and so very rarely do they have real beauty in their hearts. Like the love of money, the love of beauty can lead us astray. Men are physical creatures and their eyes can lust. They can also use attractive women as a lever to gloat over how "gifted" they appear to be as well. Look what you said about her: "She is the perfect woman. She is kind, loving, thoughtful, smart, intelligent and most importantly she is a believer." Once I knew a man who, like you, felt unworthy about his attitude toward the woman he wanted to marry, so he went to see a counsellor for an entire year; she waited for him, which only strengthened his resolve, and now they are married. He saw the beauty in her, which radiated from the inside out. Only you can ultimately make that decision with God guiding you. Wishing you the best.  

[Marilyn C]

2 hours ago, Jacob7688 said:

Hey everyone, 

 

(Truly sorry for my broken english)

I Direct messaged a girl from instagram. We clicked instantly and talked for 4 months without dating(she wasn’t ready to see me). The moment i saw her i was let down by some physical stuff i didn’t like. She isn’t ugly by any means. She just didn’t look like her pictures. She had an overbite(which she says she’s gonna have jaw surgery for it) and her face wasn’t as pretty in person. But i was already hooked by the time we met... and now her looks are bothering me.
 

She is the perfect woman. She is kind, loving, thoughtful, smart, intelligent and most importantly she is a believer. I don’t know what to do i really like her personality and character but her outer beauty wasn’t what i was expecting.

am i the problem here? Is my brain malfunctioning because of social media and seeing perfect women online the whole day so my expectations are not realistic...(btw i’m 24) or i don’t know what love is?

I believe that i shouldn’t be concerned by her looks because she is such a great woman but I feel that i’m not worthy of her because of my attitude now and even tough i say it shouldn’t concern me it still bothers me... I am praying every hour so the Lord may guide me and help me in my decision. I would greatly appreciate any help??

 

Hi Jacob,

I think the more you `see` her the more you will actually really `see` her. The inner beauty will blossom out and you will be blessed to have such a girl friend. Give it time and the mental picture you have will fade and the true will shine forth.

Marilyn.

[Galleon]

I think it's natural that we judge others based on appearance. Natural does not mean "good," of course, but I can't really post here and act like I haven't judged a book by it's cover before. 

I like to try and view things the way that famous MLK quote goes, "by the content of their character". Whether they appear pretty or ugly, rich or poor, fat or skinny, tall or tiny... The face is just a mask for that which dwells behind it. The lady sounds like a lovely person. 

To address the physical attraction, I don't think it needs to be 100%. Emotional connection is far stronger. When you feel strongly for her, you'll want to spend more time looking at her rather than whomever that woman you don't know is. Picture it like someone putting a plate in front of you with your favorite food on one side and your least favorite on the other; which one catches your eye, eh? Besides, something like an overbite can be an endearing feature. Like a big nose, or a billboard forehead. Just makes her all the more interesting.

[missmuffet]

3 hours ago, Jacob7688 said:

Hey everyone, 

 

(Truly sorry for my broken english)

I Direct messaged a girl from instagram. We clicked instantly and talked for 4 months without dating(she wasn’t ready to see me). The moment i saw her i was let down by some physical stuff i didn’t like. She isn’t ugly by any means. She just didn’t look like her pictures. She had an overbite(which she says she’s gonna have jaw surgery for it) and her face wasn’t as pretty in person. But i was already hooked by the time we met... and now her looks are bothering me.
 

She is the perfect woman. She is kind, loving, thoughtful, smart, intelligent and most importantly she is a believer. I don’t know what to do i really like her personality and character but her outer beauty wasn’t what i was expecting.

am i the problem here? Is my brain malfunctioning because of social media and seeing perfect women online the whole day so my expectations are not realistic...(btw i’m 24) or i don’t know what love is?

I believe that i shouldn’t be concerned by her looks because she is such a great woman but I feel that i’m not worthy of her because of my attitude now and even tough i say it shouldn’t concern me it still bothers me... I am praying every hour so the Lord may guide me and help me in my decision. I would greatly appreciate any help??

 

First of all it is risky and not safe to have a relationship with anyone on the computer. I definitely would give this to prayer. 

[lovethelord]

Jacob7688,

I'm wondering why her pictures didn't look like her. Were they really pictures of her?

Instead of thinking "love" at this point. Why don't you get to know her better.  There's a big difference between an online relationship vs. inperson relationship. For me, the way a person smells, laughs, eat, the sound of their voice etc... ( you get my meaning) all make a difference to me.  

However, since you already love her personality, why not plan more in-person activities and just get to know her and let her get to know the real you as well. I am confident that over time, her character and godliness will win the day. 

I just wanted to add that the best advice is really to take this to the Lord in prayers asking for guidance and discernment.

Edited December 10, 2019 by lovethelord

[Revlori]

On 12/9/2019 at 3:38 PM, Jacob7688 said:

Hey everyone, 

 

(Truly sorry for my broken english)

I Direct messaged a girl from instagram. We clicked instantly and talked for 4 months without dating(she wasn’t ready to see me). The moment i saw her i was let down by some physical stuff i didn’t like. She isn’t ugly by any means. She just didn’t look like her pictures. She had an overbite(which she says she’s gonna have jaw surgery for it) and her face wasn’t as pretty in person. But i was already hooked by the time we met... and now her looks are bothering me.
 

She is the perfect woman. She is kind, loving, thoughtful, smart, intelligent and most importantly she is a believer. I don’t know what to do i really like her personality and character but her outer beauty wasn’t what i was expecting.

am i the problem here? Is my brain malfunctioning because of social media and seeing perfect women online the whole day so my expectations are not realistic...(btw i’m 24) or i don’t know what love is?

I believe that i shouldn’t be concerned by her looks because she is such a great woman but I feel that i’m not worthy of her because of my attitude now and even tough i say it shouldn’t concern me it still bothers me... I am praying every hour so the Lord may guide me and help me in my decision. I would greatly appreciate any help??

 

Falling in love with the right person is a wonderful and beautiful experience that is designed to last a lifetime. continue to pray and God will direct your steps