Mid life crisis

[Michelleblue]

Hello, 

I’m struggling with getting older, and particularly loosing my beauty. Just going to be up front about it.  I was hoping to broach this topic in a women’s only forum, but didn’t find any.  Does anyone have any Godly books geared toward this issue?  I’m trying to cultivate new interests.  Beauty was always my ‘ card’ and I feel a deep loss getting closer and closer. I get that it’s vanity, but it’s deeply a part of me. Thanks for your advice. I’m 42 also. 

[Coliseum]

31 minutes ago, Michelleblue said:

Hello, 

I’m struggling with getting older, and particularly loosing my beauty. Just going to be up front about it.  I was hoping to broach this topic in a women’s only forum, but didn’t find any.  Does anyone have any Godly books geared toward this issue?  I’m trying to cultivate new interests.  Beauty was always my ‘ card’ and I feel a deep loss getting closer and closer. I get that it’s vanity, but it’s deeply a part of me. Thanks for your advice. I’m 42 also. 

Hi Michelle.

It is interesting when we put ourselves under the magnifying glass to make ourselves into someone "better." We all do it in degree. Men watch those last follicles fall out one at a time. I call it follicular homicide. Gee, how is God going to number all the hairs on our heads if there are none? Yep, there are beards that have to be dyed and muscles to be enlarged at the gym. I get it, and I know that as I am working on all of those things that make others want to be near me more, I wonder how I have forgotten about what's inside. 

A story is told of a believer imprisoned for his faith, tortured and beaten, whose appearance was all but none at all. The interrogator wanted information about the brethren in prison with him, but he told him that One he knew was also interrogated but only showed love back. When the Communist official asked who, the prisoner told him it was Jesus. "Well, your Jesus cannot save you now, and besides, you have never seem him. You cannot tell me if he is even real." But the prisoner told the Commandant that he knew Him. "What does he look like? Can you show me his smile"? And this ragged Christian, who was emaciated with clothes that were never changed or washed since he had been there, said he could show him the smile of Jesus, and through his broken teeth and mud-caked face was the most radiant smile of Jesus a man had ever seen. The torturer looked at him and said, "Sir, I believe you. I believe you have seen Jesus." He could not torture any more.

Michelle, this brother had the most beautiful heart, and the jailer who beat his victims saw it with his own eyes; the radiance of Jesus was so beautiful, that he became a whole other person. It is not putting on more make up, but taking it off and allowing who you are on the inside to become who you are on the outside. That will melt everyone who sees you. ❤

Edited December 10, 2019 by Coliseum

[Raven]

@Michelleblue. Accept accept accept. The sooner you accept it now the easier it gets later on. After 50, bits start falling off, such as hair and teeth; let alone what gravity does to our skin. Most people of similar age group have to accept themselves too. If you don't, then those others may not accept your vanity, since they are letting go of their own.

[AnOrangeCat]

3 hours ago, Raven said:

@Michelleblue. Accept accept accept. The sooner you accept it now the easier it gets later on. After 50, bits start falling off, such as hair and teeth; let alone what gravity does to our skin. Most people of similar age group have to accept themselves too. If you don't, then those others may not accept your vanity, since they are letting go of their own.

I have to echo this. I'm not getting hit by age much yet except in some very specific respects, but in ways the acceptance of these things can be very liberating. Appearance is something that colors a lot of our interactions for good and for ill. I think that when age gives us a greater degree of freedom from the games people play with each other because of appearance and hormones it really opens the door for better, more honest relations with other people.

[enoob57]

9 hours ago, Michelleblue said:

Hello, 

I’m struggling with getting older, and particularly loosing my beauty. Just going to be up front about it.  I was hoping to broach this topic in a women’s only forum, but didn’t find any.  Does anyone have any Godly books geared toward this issue?  I’m trying to cultivate new interests.  Beauty was always my ‘ card’ and I feel a deep loss getting closer and closer. I get that it’s vanity, but it’s deeply a part of me. Thanks for your advice. I’m 42 also. 

Our Lord speaks to us about establishing a foundation within ourselves 

Matt 7:24-27

24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:

27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
KJV

When we were born we became aware of an event that would be unavoidably experienced 'death' … unfortunately for many this did not move them to find the permanence of things! Jesus came and showed us the way, truth about life, in that, all that we began as and all that we have experienced would pass away and be no more... here is the major fork in the road of life will you give up what you cannot keep to gain what you cannot lose? 

[ReneeIW]

10 hours ago, Michelleblue said:

Hello, 

I’m struggling with getting older, and particularly loosing my beauty. Just going to be up front about it.  I was hoping to broach this topic in a women’s only forum, but didn’t find any.  Does anyone have any Godly books geared toward this issue?  I’m trying to cultivate new interests.  Beauty was always my ‘ card’ and I feel a deep loss getting closer and closer. I get that it’s vanity, but it’s deeply a part of me. Thanks for your advice. I’m 42 also. 

I think you will adjust. I remember being worried about that before I had kids just knowing that my body would be different. But, of course, you become so preoccupied with kids you forget how you even looked before(although that doesnt mean you dont take care of yourself!). So, you are correct in your thinking that if you cultivate new interests, it will help.

Also, truly beliving God's Word that inner beauty is so much more important. I have known men(not that this is about men) that have fallen deeply in love with women who are considered plain looking and they just want to exploit the good-looking woman.

I dont know any books about it, but I'm forty-four and I do like to keep myself up. My mother is 69 and still keeps herself up. She was stunningly beautiful. I know everyone thinks that about their mother,  but unfortunately that's all people talked about when it came to my mother. So she had to adjust and the way she did it was:

1. Acceptance

2. Being attractive for her age. That may sound superficial, especially on a Christian board, but I'm just passing on info. Exercise a lot(dont turn it into an idol) and of course eat healthy for your skin. Exercise even makes your face look younger. And dont compare yourself to younger women. 

3. If you are exercising you will look good in clothes so become stylish. Again, don't  turn it into an idol, but if you stay in shape and dress nice you will feel pretty.

4. Have friends your age that you are growing older with and having friends twenty years older than you will  make you feel young.

5. Most importantly, pray about it. You are not the first woman to feel this way and you won't be the last. 

Edited December 10, 2019 by ReneeIW

[dhchristian]

13 hours ago, Michelleblue said:

Hello, 

I’m struggling with getting older, and particularly loosing my beauty. Just going to be up front about it.  I was hoping to broach this topic in a women’s only forum, but didn’t find any.  Does anyone have any Godly books geared toward this issue?  I’m trying to cultivate new interests.  Beauty was always my ‘ card’ and I feel a deep loss getting closer and closer. I get that it’s vanity, but it’s deeply a part of me. Thanks for your advice. I’m 42 also. 

How We face life is an attitude more so than anything else. You can fight aging, and lament at its effects on you, or you can face it with Gratitude Of a life granted you and the Wisdom attained as we grow older. I am what I am, by the grace of God, The Scars I bear are his scars, and the Hope I have is in Him. For me to Live is Christ, and to die is gain. Attitude of Gratitude is everything as we age.

 

[Billiards Ball]

14 hours ago, Michelleblue said:

Hello, 

I’m struggling with getting older, and particularly loosing my beauty. Just going to be up front about it.  I was hoping to broach this topic in a women’s only forum, but didn’t find any.  Does anyone have any Godly books geared toward this issue?  I’m trying to cultivate new interests.  Beauty was always my ‘ card’ and I feel a deep loss getting closer and closer. I get that it’s vanity, but it’s deeply a part of me. Thanks for your advice. I’m 42 also. 

The most beautiful women to men have the character qualities and attitude the Bible describes. Follow THOSE and you will be beautiful for your lifetime!

[missmuffet]

16 hours ago, Michelleblue said:

Hello, 

I’m struggling with getting older, and particularly loosing my beauty. Just going to be up front about it.  I was hoping to broach this topic in a women’s only forum, but didn’t find any.  Does anyone have any Godly books geared toward this issue?  I’m trying to cultivate new interests.  Beauty was always my ‘ card’ and I feel a deep loss getting closer and closer. I get that it’s vanity, but it’s deeply a part of me. Thanks for your advice. I’m 42 also. 

That is life. We all grow old and our outward looks diminish. It is important to not be shallow and vain. God looks at the heart and not our outward looks. We should not be overly focused on ourselves because that is pride. 

[johnthebaptist]

20 hours ago, Michelleblue said:

Hello, 

I’m struggling with getting older, and particularly loosing my beauty. Just going to be up front about it.  I was hoping to broach this topic in a women’s only forum, but didn’t find any.  Does anyone have any Godly books geared toward this issue?  I’m trying to cultivate new interests.  Beauty was always my ‘ card’ and I feel a deep loss getting closer and closer. I get that it’s vanity, but it’s deeply a part of me. Thanks for your advice. I’m 42 also. 

When we obey the Lord's commandments, we have integrity. That is better than beauty, and nothing can take it away from us.