Not sure if i should do this-- advice please

[Figure of eighty]

So im trying to keep an arms length with my daughter's dad. He keeps trying to win me back and start up a relationship whem Im clearly not interested. Like going out to the movies.. I turned that down.

 

Now he said he stopped by his pastor and theyre doing christening and he wanted to baptize our daughter as well as my son and he wanted to take me for service as well.

 

He said he wanted to get anointed and start going back to church. But all of this was like a spur of the moment thing

 

Im like thats all good and well but i really want it to come from him and do it himself. It might very well come from his own motives but Im a bit skeptical since we had an argument yesterday which resulted in me doubling down in my decision to not be together.

 

Im at a cross though bc i do want my kids baptized and its hard for me to do alone bc i have a toddler and an arm baby. My family wont help me board them in out the car. My brothers are usually off to church themselves and my parents wont, my mom is usually tired from work and my dad just wont.

 

So i dont go to church bc of this. I really would love to but i just dont trust myself with him. Lines always gets crossed and Im truly trying to dedicate myself to God.

 

Im thinking of just letting him baptize our daughter and ill do my son at my church when I can. I feel his answer will reveal his motives

 

What would u all do?

[The_Patriot21]

Stay away from him-and that church. Even if hes sincere, infant baptism isnt biblical. Thats something everyone needs to choose to do on their own after coming to Christ.

You can avoid trouble with him and avoid raising your children with false teachings by standing by your convictions.

[Figure of eighty]

1 hour ago, The_Patriot21 said:

Stay away from him-and that church. Even if hes sincere, infant baptism isnt biblical. Thats something everyone needs to choose to do on their own after coming to Christ.

You can avoid trouble with him and avoid raising your children with false teachings by standing by your convictions.

Thanks these were my thoughts.

[R. Hartono]

Don't baptize toddlers n babies who don't understand, thats forcing religion like unbelievers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Omegaman 3.0]

I agree with most here. Jesus' command to his disciples was to make more disciples, and baptize them. When your kids are to the point where their understanding and faith is such, that they can legitimately  be called disciples (students and followers of Jesus) then it is time. That is not at any particular age, it will vary from individual to individual. In my opinion, it is something that should be by choice, not forced upon them, and it should be their testimony of faith to others, the declaration that they believe, and their identification with Jesus, going down into the water as a symbol of His death and burial, and rising up out of it, as a symbol of His resurrection, and our rising to new life as well.

[Baltika]

5 hours ago, Josheb said:

Forgive my bluntness but if that is true then you are already betraying yourself by posting about this. The post reflects an "interest". Yes, it may be one of antithesis but that is still an interest, no matter how paradoxical it my be. When you get to the point where no one ever hears anything about that guy because it no longer takes up room in your thinking, no room in head or heart, then you will have reached the point of no interest. 

So...... I suggest two options: 1) embrace the remaining "interest" and acknowledge it as such or 2) really be done with him and say, "Meh," to yourself every time that guys tries to "win" you back. We all know what would win you back even when you are unpersuadable. He knows, too. Since that's not happened be done. 

 

I like your advice

[Figure of eighty]

On 8/27/2021 at 9:17 PM, Josheb said:

Forgive my bluntness but if that is true then you are already betraying yourself by posting about this. The post reflects an "interest". Yes, it may be one of antithesis but that is still an interest, no matter how paradoxical it my be. When you get to the point where no one ever hears anything about that guy because it no longer takes up room in your thinking, no room in head or heart, then you will have reached the point of no interest. 

So...... I suggest two options: 1) embrace the remaining "interest" and acknowledge it as such or 2) really be done with him and say, "Meh," to yourself every time that guys tries to "win" you back. We all know what would win you back even when you are unpersuadable. He knows, too. Since that's not happened be done. 

Not interest in Him but church. I havrnt been to church in a long time but i think its best to stay away.

[AnOrangeCat]

On 8/26/2021 at 7:28 AM, Figure of eighty said:

He said he wanted to get anointed and start going back to church. But all of this was like a spur of the moment thing

 

Im like thats all good and well but i really want it to come from him and do it himself. It might very well come from his own motives but Im a bit skeptical since we had an argument yesterday which resulted in me doubling down in my decision to not be together.

A fair number of people who heed the altar call during church services go during a spur of the moment. I don't think that's wrong or bad at all. Some stick with it, some don't. I hope he does. I get where you're coming from about wanting to make sure he's doing it for God and his spiritual wellbeing. I'd personally take it slow with him to see where his heart is, but keep this in mind.

Hebrews 10:25 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

The Bible makes it clear there and elsewhere that we should encourage each other in the faith. So if you can encourage him to go to church and be a better Christian then please consider giving it a shot but make it clear that it's just encouragement and nothing more. Doesn't mean you have to get into a relationship with him since the encouragement is to be done in and for Christ, not in and for the flesh.

So far as infant baptism goes I personally wouldn't treat it as baptism. More of a sign of your own commitment to do your best as a Christian parent and an expression of hope that they'll get baptized on their own initiative later. Romans 14 seems relevant. It talks about people debating over whether or not it was better to eat meat or abstain, and whether or not one person's holidays were more legitimate than another's. Eventually it basically says "If you eat meat or don't, do it for God. If you observe a holiday or don't, do it for God."

I feel like infant baptism falls under the same heading. By no means should it be confused with or treated as actual baptism. But if you want to make it into an expression of your intentions to your child in relation to God? Go for it.

[WordSword]

I believe your point is mostly wanting to do the right thing, which is always the best motive concerning all things, so I wouldn't let anything that has to do with the kids distract you from continuing to give your situation more time, enough to allow you to be certain on your decisions and prayer time for guidance.

God bless!

[Figure of eighty]

Uhg. Update. This man didnt even go. He didnt go to church. He didnt come by to pick up his daughter. He was at work. Feel like that whole church line was just a feeble attempt to get back with me maybe.

Im glad i held out to see he was full of crap. I saw a pic of him on insta in another area after work. Talking about being with women ect.

Edited August 30, 2021 by Figure of eighty