what is the point of "waiting for marriage"

[Kenzie]

I am in college and feel as if I am missing out. It is also discouraging that people who identify as christian (my friends) have casual sex.  It confuses me. I then hear Christians talk about how they were sexually promiscuous and then decided to get saved and all is forgiven. I am 19 and I've tried praying and reading my bible, but I feel just so disconnected. Also, I kinda have the feeling that if I do wait, most likely my future husband will not be a virgin too, which then it feels like it was for nothing. And I say that because so many guys I know are not and are not interested to do that. Even those who identify as christian. I go to a catholic university which confuses me more. This is something that I truly struggle with. I've talked to my parents about it and before they were strict on advising to wait, but now, even though they advise to wait still, they just tell me to be wise. Please don't judge me, I seriously would appreciate some advice.  

[Hopefully]

“So run away from sexual sin. It involves the body in a way that no other sin does. So if you commit sexual sin, you are sinning against your own body. You should know that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit that you received from God and that lives in you. You don’t own yourselves. God paid a very high price to make you his. So honor God with your body.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭6:18-20‬ 

“The wrong things the sinful self does are clear: committing sexual sin, being morally bad, doing all kinds of shameful things, worshiping false gods, taking part in witchcraft, hating people, causing trouble, being jealous, angry or selfish, causing people to argue and divide into separate groups, being filled with envy, getting drunk, having wild parties, and doing other things like this. I warn you now as I warned you before: The people who do these things will not have a part in God’s kingdom. But the fruit that the Spirit produces in a person’s life is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these kinds of things. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their sinful self. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:19-25‬ ‭

 

[johnthebaptist]

2 hours ago, Kenzie said:

I am in college and feel as if I am missing out. It is also discouraging that people who identify as christian (my friends) have casual sex.  It confuses me. I then hear Christians talk about how they were sexually promiscuous and then decided to get saved and all is forgiven. I am 19 and I've tried praying and reading my bible, but I feel just so disconnected. Also, I kinda have the feeling that if I do wait, most likely my future husband will not be a virgin too, which then it feels like it was for nothing. And I say that because so many guys I know are not and are not interested to do that. Even those who identify as christian. I go to a catholic university which confuses me more. This is something that I truly struggle with. I've talked to my parents about it and before they were strict on advising to wait, but now, even though they advise to wait still, they just tell me to be wise. Please don't judge me, I seriously would appreciate some advice.  

It is better to wait. That is what Jesus taught (Mark 7:20-23), and Jesus is smarter than the rest of us and only looking out for our well-being.

If you wait, then you prove to your husband-to-be that you can be trusted, and if he waits, then he proves he can be trusted. Otherwise, you will never be able to fully trust him, and he will never be able to fully trust you.

[BK1110]

The Bible is very, extremely, repeatedly clear on this topic. Read Paul's various letters in the new testament. Over and over and over again he makes it clear that sex before marriage and with any other person other than your spouse is grave sin, damaging sin, and ultimately damning sin.

There are so many great reasons to wait, so that you can exclusively experience that deep, giving, loving connection with just one person, attempting to out-do each other in love directed towards each other. But even aside from all of that, you simply have to make a choice; the Bible is clear about where the line is, and is clear that people who wantonly cross it will not be going to heaven. If you believe the Bible, your choice is clear.

Might I recommend that you go to the Youtube channel "Dr. Sean McDowell" and just type in "wait for marriage" in the search bar for his channel. You will get many results, including a "Sex, Love, and Relationships" playlist. His videos and interviews should help you get a much clearer picture of not only God's will for your life and body, but also His reasons for it.

And FWIW, I'm a guy and nearly 35, and I'm still a virgin. I hopefully await the day that God brings the right woman into my life that I can give all of myself to, so she can feel loved and blessed and special, doing my all in sex and in every other way to help her more fully appreciate the love of God. There are guys out there who value Biblical teaching on this. God will bring you the right one on his timing if you faithfully wait and allow God to be sovereign over this aspect of your life as well.

[Who me]

4 hours ago, Kenzie said:

feel as if I am missing out

 

Missing out on what?

Guilt of having casual sex, the fear will I get pregnant, the fear of sexual transmitted diseases.

 

There is nothing in the bible that says obedience to Gods law is easy. 

Hold on to the highest standards, don't be mislead by the lies told by those seeking to destroy marriage.

 

[Billiards Ball]

21 hours ago, Kenzie said:

I am in college and feel as if I am missing out. It is also discouraging that people who identify as christian (my friends) have casual sex.  It confuses me. I then hear Christians talk about how they were sexually promiscuous and then decided to get saved and all is forgiven. I am 19 and I've tried praying and reading my bible, but I feel just so disconnected. Also, I kinda have the feeling that if I do wait, most likely my future husband will not be a virgin too, which then it feels like it was for nothing. And I say that because so many guys I know are not and are not interested to do that. Even those who identify as christian. I go to a catholic university which confuses me more. This is something that I truly struggle with. I've talked to my parents about it and before they were strict on advising to wait, but now, even though they advise to wait still, they just tell me to be wise. Please don't judge me, I seriously would appreciate some advice.  

Hi Kenzie,

Start by parsing who is a true Christian. Only someone who has trusted Jesus, not their good deeds or mass or confession or etc. for salvation IS saved. Trust Jesus today for eternal life AND to feel "connected" in Bible reading.

Real saved men are real men who wait for marriage. My son did so, got married and is HAPPY and they expect their first child in two months.

Anyone you have sex with will be in your head and heart when you marry INCLUDING your future husband. Divorce in the USA is 1:2 and for two virgins 1:1,000!

[Hobie_]

21 hours ago, Kenzie said:

I am in college and feel as if I am missing out. It is also discouraging that people who identify as christian (my friends) have casual sex.  It confuses me. I then hear Christians talk about how they were sexually promiscuous and then decided to get saved and all is forgiven. I am 19 and I've tried praying and reading my bible, but I feel just so disconnected. Also, I kinda have the feeling that if I do wait, most likely my future husband will not be a virgin too, which then it feels like it was for nothing. And I say that because so many guys I know are not and are not interested to do that. Even those who identify as christian. I go to a catholic university which confuses me more. This is something that I truly struggle with. I've talked to my parents about it and before they were strict on advising to wait, but now, even though they advise to wait still, they just tell me to be wise. Please don't judge me, I seriously would appreciate some advice.  

Sin seems very fun till you pay the price, then its much confusion and sorrow..

[appy]

Your not missing out on anything. That is a lie from Satan. And and as you have already discovered, it hurts their witness for Christ.

If a man is not willing to wait till after you both say “I do”, he doesn't value you to begin with. And why should he, when he can test drive now? There is the lack of unconditional commitment and dedication to the relationship; which leaves you feeling vulnerable and changes everything about the dynamics of the relationship and there will always be question marks in the back of your mind of his commitment and sincerity to you. The same applies to women too. It goes both directions

Waiting allows us to be sure we picked the right man or woman and that we’re actually committed to one other, making the relationship that extra special, not just there out of ease or convenience. The reward for waiting till wedding day is knowing in your heart that you heeded your parents advice. Because the relationship between you and the man you marry, will then be extra special with a lasting bond.

People who give in to sexual temptation before marriage, experience guilt and regret, and you don't want to have this in the back of your mind. Waiting, will keep you free from this. As a Christian, it is best advised that the man you choose, is a committed Christian and Christ is central to him, and is of the same religion as you. Otherwise you two will be pulling in different directions when it comes to values and principals.

And at the same time, don't set the bar so high in your expectations of the other, because if you are expecting the other to be perfect and never have flaws, you will be disappointed and never find anyone.

In closing... run from sex sin, because it hurts you emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

1 Corinthians 6: 13 thru 20  (LB, a paraphrase)
13But sexual sin is never right: our bodies were not made for that but for the Lord, and the Lord wants to fill our bodies with himself. 14 And God is going to raise our bodies from the dead by his power just as he raised up the Lord Jesus Christ. 15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts and members of Christ? So should I take part of Christ and join him to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute she becomes a part of him and he becomes a part of her? For God tells us in the Scripture that in his sight the two become one person. 17 But if you give yourself to the Lord, you and Christ are joined together as one person.

18 That is why I say to run from sex sin. No other sin affects the body as this one does. When you sin this sin it is against your own body. 19 Haven’t you yet learned that your body is the home of the Holy Spirit God gave you, and that he lives within you? Your own body does not belong to you. 20 For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God because he owns it.

[The_Patriot21]

I could go into a long list of reasons to wait, but they have already been listed...instead ill just offer some hope.

I waited and found a beautiful wife who did as well. We met in Bible college. Were still married 13 years later and still happy. Follow Gods plan...and hold to His standards. Even if you meet someone who isnt a virgin (as long as he has repented from his sin) its not for nothing. Following Gods plan is never for nothing. But finding someone who is waiting isnt impossible either. It is getting rare these days...but not impossible.

My wife told me had i not been a virgin she wouldnt have married me. It is Gods way. If you sacrifice your morals just because everyone else is doing it, you will regret it.

[other one]

23 hours ago, Kenzie said:

I am in college and feel as if I am missing out.

You won't know the answer to your question [what is the point of "waiting for marriage] until you are married and still a virgin.....   and if you are not a virgin when you are married you will never know the answer.   And if you do manage to wait, you will understand more the older you get.    How do you put into words the relationship of two people and their love.   I can tell you from experience that having a relationship with someone including God himself is different if you have not crossed that line.   Not being guilty is a whole different thing than just being forgiven.

God intended sex to be so special that it brings two people together,,,,,   if you do that with many you will miss out on Gods plan for marriage for it will not mean the same to you  when you meet that special person.

Pluss, you don't pick up some really bothersome diseases nor accidentally get pregnant.   I have a very good friend who got pregnant with her second child even though she had an IUD and my wife got pregnant with our second child while taking birth control pills.     (Stuff happens).    I might add that both my friend and we had healthy kids that have grown up to be successful ("Thank you Jesus"), but would have been kind of  a disaster had it happened earlier in life that way.