Blind dating

[Starise]

45 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

I'm in agreement that much of this is beyond our grasp, but then that's the nature of the hidden things of God. Unless the Lord sees fit to reveal something to us, we simply don't know about it. 

Yes, The Lord knew you were going to be here. He knew when you were going to be born and He knows when our last day here will be. He even knew we would be in this exchange right now lol. How does that play into who a man will meet to be his wife, if he chooses to marry?  I think we know the answer to this. God knows it all, yet we like to think we had some input into it. Maybe we do since He gives us choice. He knows what's going to go down but He lets us choose it, or in this case 'her'.

I could rightly say that my life had what looks to be a huge detour with my ex wife. I even purposely looked for a Christian woman when I met her. I talked myself into believing she was the one, even though I had a few very small reservations. I figured all women have this or that and none of us are perfect so I ignored the things that didn't exactly sit well with me thinking it was the right thing to do. In hindsight, I should have probably gone with some of my first impressions. I get uncomfortable around people who don't communicate. I don't mean sometimes, I mean almost never responding to anything verbal unless I initiated it. When I looked at other women, they almost can't seem to stop talking . I wrote it off as just a quirk and moved on, but admittedly it often made me uneasy. I mean, a woman that never talks?? .

I then learned there can be a difference between peaceful quiet and seething calculating negative quiet.Sadly so. Yet God KNEW this was going to happen. Can you wrap your head around that?

45 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

This isn't to say that it was easy for you. From what you've shared with us, you've had to endure much along the way (and what you've shared is only a drop in the bucket, I'm sure). Ah, but isn't that true for us all? No matter what our portion in the Lord might be, nothing comes easy on this earth. We suffer, toil, stumble at times and even fall flat on our face, but we always rise again. 

Well yes...I could tell you some..things that might be interesting and entertaining on my nickle. Things that really happened you might think I made up. Things that would make the mods uncomfortable, so I won't. God has greatly blessed me since then. I never thought I would say I am happy to be rid of her, but it was one of the best things to ever happen because I went from a negative heavy environment to a lighter more positive space. At one point in my life I though it was the end of my world.

45 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

As for my portion? After I discharged my duty faithfully and my adopted mother passed away, everything changed. I'm no longer ignorant. I know that I'm not to marry, brother. In the past, I certainly made the effort like so many do... but it wasn't my place to belong to a wife or a family. No one has to believe me, but that's the truth.  

And I appreciate your story there brother. It is amazing to hear how the Lord has protected and delivered you. I have known many both male and female who have no interest in marriage. It's just another way to live and while I reluctantly face my future, I know either me or my wife will eventually pass away and one of us will be single again. I don't want o think about that day, but at the same time I think we should begin to prepare as we get older for those inevitibilities.

Edited June 30, 2022 by Starise

[Starise]

11 minutes ago, Anne2 said:

I was in it for the long haul as well. As I said we were high school sweet hearts.

we had been together for three years, since I was 15. I was blindsided. He brought the woman home to our house....in my face type thing. It was because I had no children I got out. I could not think of a future like that. I knew I had to get out of that relationship. What had been in that relationship, was continuing and getting worse more and more. As I said i was young and really quite dumb about this stuff.

But My last husband was a real winner sweetie. Married 32 years. He passed in 2019. But it just took me along time to get over distrust in myself and others along the way.

 I was also married young. We were dating at 19 and married at 20. Crazy immature man I was. Someone should have tried to talk me out of it or at least I should have considered to wait a while longer to make sure she was the right one. But noooooooo. I wanted a Christian wife and she was it. 

For anyone out there looking. NEVER get in a hurry. You aren't buying a watch here. This is a relationship, a marriage. Many marriages like this have thrived and mine would have lasted too if not for what happened.I am not faulting anyone who married earlier if they were ready for it. Someone will probably step forward to say they were married at 18 now and have been married for 60 years. I say more power to ya. I think the best advice is probably to commit to at least a few years dating to make sure this is what you both want. Never see that person as your ONLY option before you are married simply because you know them better.

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your husband and I know that must be a real hard thing to cope with after being with him for so long.

I'm not sure if I've ever really fully recovered. I just lived though it and went on. That emotional attachment to her is now long gone, but the hurt from it will probably haunt me for life.

[Alive]

Trust the Lord.

Jer. 10:23 (NAS20S)   I know, LORD, that a person’s way is not in himself, Nor is it in a person who walks to direct his steps.

And always remember Rom 8.28

²⁸ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

The Great Shepherd loves each of His.

[Alive]

Ah! I found it. This is the verse that was echoing in my mind when thinking about this thread. Its funny but I still hear the KJV in my mind.

Prov. 3:2 (KJVS) For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee. 3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: 4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

[Marathoner]

2 minutes ago, Starise said:

Yes, The Lord knew you were going to be here. He knew when you were going to be born and He knows when our last day here will be. He even knew we would be in this exchange right now lol. How does that play into who a man will meet to be his wife, if he chooses to marry?  I think we know the answer to this. God knows it all, yet we like to think we had some input into it. Maybe we do since He gives us choice. He knows what's going to go down but He lets us choose it, or in this case 'her'.

We aren't in disagreement, my friend. Sure, there are times when we might disagree about something --- I would wonder about us if we agreed about everything  --- but I know this. I would dearly love to visit with you and your wife, make you bury your face into your palms by drowning my dinner with ghost pepper sauce, and spend time with you both. I'll have to settle for the age which is to come. 

I'm convinced that the will and purpose of God, and both the decisions and path of those who love Jesus Christ, are in harmony. Yep, this bends the mind in just about every direction. The scripture which assures us that all things work together for the good of those who love Him helps us understand. Both of us also know that God doesn't reveal everything to us. I believe that if the Lord were to reveal everything to man, we'd drop dead or at the very least, lose our marbles! 
 

15 minutes ago, Starise said:

I could rightly say that my life had what looks to be a huge detour with my ex wife. I even purposely looked for a Christian woman when I met her. I talked myself into believing she was the one, even though I had a few very small reservations. I figured all women have this or that and none of us are perfect so I ignored the things that didn't exactly sit well with me thinking it was the right thing to do. In hindsight, I should have probably gone with some of my first impressions. I get uncomfortable around people who don't communicate. I don't mean sometimes, I mean almost never responding to anything verbal unless I initiated it. When I looked at other women, they almost can't seem to stop talking . I wrote it off as just a quirk and moved on, but admittedly it often made me uneasy. I mean, a woman that never talks?? .

If I might presume to offer the following? You both learned and grew from that experience with your ex-wife, brother. I know how this might dump the applecart of some, asserting that through mistakes and error we learn, but then I've always been one who prefers reality over idealism. All things work together for the good of those who love our Lord, yes? Yes, they do. 

Your experience prepared you to be that husband whom the Lord intended for your wife. It can take both time and tribulation to arrive at our purpose on this earth.  

 

Quote

I then learned there can be a difference between peaceful quiet and seething calculating negative quiet.Sadly so. Yet God KNEW this was going to happen. Can you wrap your head around that?

Absolutely. Having experienced these things myself, I know precisely what you're talking about. 

The multi-quote function wasn't working properly, so I'm pasting portions of your post into quote boxes. 
 

26 minutes ago, Starise said:

Well yes...I could tell you some..things that might be interesting and entertaining on my nickle. Things that really happened you might think I made up. Things that would make the mods uncomfortable, so I won't. God has greatly blessed me since then. I never thought I would say I am happy to be rid of her, but it was one of the best things to ever happen because I went from a negative heavy environment to a lighter more positive space. At one point in my life though it was the end of my world.

You would be surprised regarding what I will believe. My experience with the Lord hasn't exactly been uneventful, hehe. You also might be surprised to learn that I share something in common with the Samaritan woman at the well. Enough said. 
 

28 minutes ago, Starise said:

And I appreciate your story there brother. It is amazing to hear how the Lord has protected and delivered you. I have known many both male and female who have no interest in marriage. It's just another way to live and while I reluctantly face my future, I know either me or my wife will eventually pass away and one of us will be single again. I don't want o think about that day, but at the same time I think we should begin to prepare as we get older for those inevitibilities.

This is one of many reasons why I would love to spend time with you, @Starise. You don't have to face what comes with reluctance, no matter how grim that may seem. No eye has seen, nor ear heard, what the Lord Almighty has in store for both you and your wife. 

I'm an idiot, and the Lord loves me. You are not an idiot by any means, my friend, so of course He loves you! Yeah, our suffering in this world blows. But then it wouldn't be suffering if it were easy.  

[Starise]

5 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

We aren't in disagreement, my friend. Sure, there are times when we might disagree about something --- I would wonder about us if we agreed about everything  --- but I know this. I would dearly love to visit with you and your wife, make you bury your face into your palms by drowning my dinner with ghost pepper sauce, and spend time with you both. I'll have to settle for the age which is to come. 

 I would welcome you if you ever get by this way. Hot sauce doesn't bother me. My wife might take some convincing . She is sometimes skittish about these things if she doesn't know who it is. I tend to be much more open that way. Maybe with a little convincing. I'll tell her it's a friend of mine  because it is a friend of mine. She will say, "What's his name?" Uh...Marathoner. His mum must have seen him running out of the womb when he was delivered. Isn't that the name for a candy bar as well?

12 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

I'm convinced that the will and purpose of God, and both the decisions and path of those who love Jesus Christ, are in harmony.

 Jonah made it much harder than it had to be. I would always rather eat fish than have a fish eat me.

13 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

You would be surprised regarding what I will believe. My experience with the Lord hasn't exactly been uneventful, hehe. You also might be surprised to learn that I share something in common with the Samaritan woman at the well. Enough said. 

Do you dip water from an ancient well?

14 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

I'm an idiot, and the Lord loves me. You are not an idiot by any means, my friend, so of course He loves you! Yeah, our suffering in this world blows. But then it wouldn't be suffering if it were easy.

Well if you are an idiot you play a wise person better than anyone else I know.

[MissTury]

Well, send me a three page essay, singles spaced, about why you think you might want to date me. If I like it, I'll send you an application to date me, then I will consider it.

Preview:

Question one: Is Jesus Christ the most important person in your life?

Question two: Is Jesus Christ the Lord of your life?

Question three: Is Jesus Christ the only God, and creator of the heavens and the earth?

[ladypeartree]

NEVER regret your" mistakes " without them you would never learn .. as a retired teacher I can say with a LOT of experience that the person who never makes  a mistake is fooling themself you really do learn more from making a mistake in anything than you do by getting things right first time .   DoI  regret my marriage after allthe physicaland emotionalsuffering ? NO if I regreted it I would have to also regret my children and grand children etc 

 

How far we have travelled from a blind date question

[Marathoner]

7 minutes ago, ladypeartree said:

NEVER regret your" mistakes " without them you would never learn .. as a retired teacher I can say with a LOT of experience that the person who never makes  a mistake is fooling themself you really do learn more from making a mistake in anything than you do by getting things right first time .   DoI  regret my marriage after allthe physicaland emotionalsuffering ? NO if I regreted it I would have to also regret my children and grand children etc 

 

How far we have travelled from a blind date question

Hmmm, not as far as some might think. We've shared what we think about blind dating... and then we went back and forth about dating/pursuing a spouse/not pursuing a spouse... we exchanged jokes... and at this point I see a great outpouring. I suppose it could have been worse?

Things might have stalled at the joke stage. 

It's turned out to be a good topic overall. No one called anyone else a neener-neener or a meanie-head. Yay!

[Marathoner]

51 minutes ago, Starise said:

 I would welcome you if you ever get by this way. Hot sauce doesn't bother me. My wife might take some convincing . She is sometimes skittish about these things if she doesn't know who it is. I tend to be much more open that way. Maybe with a little convincing. I'll tell her it's a friend of mine  because it is a friend of mine. She will say, "What's his name?" Uh...Marathoner. His mum must have seen him running out of the womb when he was delivered. Isn't that the name for a candy bar as well?

 Jonah made it much harder than it had to be. I would always rather eat fish than have a fish eat me.

Do you dip water from an ancient well?

Well if you are an idiot you play a wise person better than anyone else I know.

Can't split things up on my phone so I'll go at it one piece at a time.

Oh, you don't have to call me "Marathoner." You can use my late mother's description of me instead. "Hey there everybody, my name is Mud!"

I think most of us can identify with that boneheaded prophet of the Lord, Jonah. Well, maybe not the parts where an entire ship full of pagans tossed their idols (and Jonah) overboard to worship the Lord, and being swallowed by a huge fish afterward. I'm with you regarding fish. We eats the fishies, thank yew very much.

Now that you mention it, drawing water from an ancient well is what we do, brother. The Lord gives us water and we never thirst. Amen!

I'm not smart at all, but I used to play a smart fellow once upon a time. Then I learned how stupid I truly am:

One  lump  at a  time.