Comprehending a FATHER’s Love

[AlsoBroken]

I would like to hear from others who relate to this life-long difficulty…

Due to the physical and emotional ABSENCE of my earthly Dad (even though he was alive and usually only a phone call away) and no other caring substitute interested in my life, I seem to be incapable of truly believing and trusting that my Father God loves me unconditionally, and actually WANTS a relationship with me. I believe it in Faith because “the Bible tells me so” and sometimes I DO feel His love for me, but on a daily average, I don’t. I can barely comprehend that this Father - Creator and Sustainer of the Universe - actually wants ME in a close relationship with Him? I have NO frame-of-reference for this. (Which is a deep grief in itself). This lack of comprehension on an emotional level has seriously effected my spiritual growth, my whole life. 

 And yes, I continue to pray for it! 
 

[Jayne]

I'm so sorry that you had to endure an absent father.  What I am about to share with you is not my own words.  I am taking this from a woman named Kia Stephens whose father left their family when she was a baby and she suffered some of the same things you are.

What she has to say is too long to post, so I will summarize it and I will leave you the link to the whole post.

In summary:

• She said that she had little to no time with her earthly father and she can now see that she transferred those "absent" feelings from him to how she felt about God.  

 

• She used the following examples of equating God with her absent earthly father:  [1]  God couldn't be seen.  [2] She couldn't hear him speak audibly.  [3] Her prayers seemed to go unanswered.  [4] She felt ignored by God. [5] She said that she came to view God as distant, silent, and uninterested with the ache she carried in her soul.

Then she said that she realized she was believing three lies.

LIE #1 = "God is just like my daddy." THE TRUTH:  My dad is like me – flawed, broken and in need of a savior.  Even the greatest fathers are imperfect and fall short in comparison to God.  Although fathers can reflect the heart of God, they are not God and we must make the distinction.

LIE #2 = "God's silence means he doesn't love me"  THE TRUTH:   His communication is endless;  through the Bible, people, nature, and our circumstances, God communicates His love for us.  “Deep within our souls an omniscient God engages in a continuous discourse between our thoughts and His.  The challenge is silencing the noise around and within so we can hear.

LIE #3 = "God cannot be trusted."  THE TRUTH: After experiencing disappointment  in my father daughter relationship I found it difficult to trust God.   But as a baby begins to walk, I took a step and then another.  In fact I’m still taking steps in my journey with an all-knowing God, forever learning to trust, and countering lies that separate me and Him.

Here's the link to the whole thing.   How Fathers Affect Our View of God (fatherswap.com)

[AlsoBroken]

Thank you Jayne. 

I relate mostly to this…

Distant or passive fathers can inadvertently influence their children to view God as uninvolved  and disinterested in their lives. 

Edited November 18, 2022 by AlsoBroken

[Billiards Ball]

21 hours ago, AlsoBroken said:

I would like to hear from others who relate to this life-long difficulty…

Due to the physical and emotional ABSENCE of my earthly Dad (even though he was alive and usually only a phone call away) and no other caring substitute interested in my life, I seem to be incapable of truly believing and trusting that my Father God loves me unconditionally, and actually WANTS a relationship with me. I believe it in Faith because “the Bible tells me so” and sometimes I DO feel His love for me, but on a daily average, I don’t. I can barely comprehend that this Father - Creator and Sustainer of the Universe - actually wants ME in a close relationship with Him? I have NO frame-of-reference for this. (Which is a deep grief in itself). This lack of comprehension on an emotional level has seriously effected my spiritual growth, my whole life. 

 And yes, I continue to pray for it! 
 

A deep relationship includes not just talking to someone but listening. You should get out of the busy city, get alone in nature outside, ask God to talk to you, and just LISTEN at length. This will transform your relationship--of course you can read some Bible in nature and pray and etc. to prepare to listen.

[AlsoBroken]

Billiards, that is one of the best pieces of counsel I have been given yet! I live alone in a quiet neighborhood and have a lot of time to pray but I know I don’t “listen” very well. I need to close out all the other things in my mind clamoring for my attention. 
❤️ Thank you for the reminder. 

[Ani Tefillah]

On 11/17/2022 at 4:48 PM, AlsoBroken said:

I would like to hear from others who relate to this life-long difficulty…

Due to the physical and emotional ABSENCE of my earthly Dad (even though he was alive and usually only a phone call away) and no other caring substitute interested in my life, I seem to be incapable of truly believing and trusting that my Father God loves me unconditionally, and actually WANTS a relationship with me. I believe it in Faith because “the Bible tells me so” and sometimes I DO feel His love for me, but on a daily average, I don’t. I can barely comprehend that this Father - Creator and Sustainer of the Universe - actually wants ME in a close relationship with Him? I have NO frame-of-reference for this. (Which is a deep grief in itself). This lack of comprehension on an emotional level has seriously effected my spiritual growth, my whole life. 

 And yes, I continue to pray for it! 
 

When I read this I immediately recognized myself with it, and I also felt a heartache for you. 😔🙏🏽 

I'm 55 years old now and grew up in a home where my parents divorced when I was around 6 years old. It was devastating to me, as a little girl, to experience this, as I didn't understand why my dad moved, and actually thought it was my fault or something. 

My mom had a difficult childhood too, and wasn't able to understand my deep sorrow or comfort me, so I ended up crying alone very often, because I missed my dad so much. 

When I got saved and born again, as a young woman, I finally got Home to my real Abba Father (Daddy Father), and little by little He has healed my broken heart, (which also had been broken because of incest etc), and today I just know that I know that I know, that He is my Abba Father Whom loves me so much, loved me before the foundation of the world in His beloved Son, He has only thoughts of Peace/Shalom with me, and will never leave me or forsake me. I pray from the bottom of my heart, that you will gradually know Him like this too. 🤗 

When I ponder on what it cost Abba Father to give up His only begotten Son for me, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love towards Him! Also when I ponder of how much He has forgiven me! How can I not love Him and realize how much He loves me? 

🌸🌹🌸🌹🌸🌹🌸🌹🌸🌹🌸

Here's a poem called "Abba Father". 😊

Abba Father!

 

I can call You Abba Father!

Such amazing Grace from Above,

that You for me did bestow.

 

My Abba Father You have been for many years ; cared for me and wiped away my tears. 

 

I'm dwelling between Your shoulders, 

each and every day ; and You give me all I need to walk on the narrow way. 

 

I don't need to fear about tomorrow, 

for pain, for trial or test or sorrow ;

for You, my loving Abba Father care for me ; my days, months, years and eternity! 

 

So, I thank You for Your mercy and Love ; as I before Your Throne bow. 

As the apple of Your eye You'll keep me, until I reach my eternity. 

 

16.04.2022.

 

[AlsoBroken]

Thank you for your loving reply to me!

I relate to your grieving alone as a child! Separation and divorce of one’s mom and dad is devastating. I experienced this at age 8 and the most dysfunctional part is that nobody talked about their OWN feelings about it. My whole childhood was like “Let’s all pretend that everything’s FINE.”
The loss and absence of my Dad then led to terrible choices in men during my entire adult life, with consequences of MORE loss. I required YEARS of mental health counseling to sort through what was REAL to me, but never, ever acknowledged.   

So much Healing has been needed. 

[Ani Tefillah]

1 hour ago, AlsoBroken said:

Thank you for your loving reply to me!

I relate to your grieving alone as a child! Separation and divorce of one’s mom and dad is devastating. I experienced this at age 8 and the most dysfunctional part is that nobody talked about their OWN feelings about it. My whole childhood was like “Let’s all pretend that everything’s FINE.”
The loss and absence of my Dad then led to terrible choices in men during my entire adult life, with consequences of MORE loss. I required YEARS of mental health counseling to sort through what was REAL to me, but never, ever acknowledged.   

So much Healing has been needed. 

Everything you've mentioned here I've been through too, and the Lord has pulled me through it all! I know that He can do the same thing for you, even if it may take some time. 

I assume you are a woman? If you need someone to talk with or pray with, please let me know, ok? 

May the Lord's peace and grace be with you there! ☺️ 

[missmuffet]

On 11/17/2022 at 7:48 AM, AlsoBroken said:

I would like to hear from others who relate to this life-long difficulty…

Due to the physical and emotional ABSENCE of my earthly Dad (even though he was alive and usually only a phone call away) and no other caring substitute interested in my life, I seem to be incapable of truly believing and trusting that my Father God loves me unconditionally, and actually WANTS a relationship with me. I believe it in Faith because “the Bible tells me so” and sometimes I DO feel His love for me, but on a daily average, I don’t. I can barely comprehend that this Father - Creator and Sustainer of the Universe - actually wants ME in a close relationship with Him? I have NO frame-of-reference for this. (Which is a deep grief in itself). This lack of comprehension on an emotional level has seriously effected my spiritual growth, my whole life. 

 And yes, I continue to pray for it! 
 

I don't think the human really can comprehend how much God really does love us. When we wil see Him face to face then perhaps we will be able to know that love. 

[AlsoBroken]

19 hours ago, MonicaWife said:

Everything you've mentioned here I've been through too, and the Lord has pulled me through it all! I know that He can do the same thing for you, even if it may take some time. 

I assume you are a woman? If you need someone to talk with or pray with, please let me know, ok? 

May the Lord's peace and grace be with you there! ☺️ 

Thank you sister, that’s very kind of you   ❤️
Jan