I don't feel God is transforming me inside out...

[Figure of eighty]

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up being a christian. I've been saved and baptized twice but I see no fruit in my own life.. 

I've come to a place where I feel weird towards God. I don't trust him at all, I have alot of anger towards him and I genuinely don't want to surrender completely mainly bc I see an example being my brother who's brainwashed and has nothing. 

Idk what to do. 

 

I really don't know how to trust God 

Idk I wish I were full of faith but I'm not. 

 

I just know my situation isn't ideal-- I just feel like a pot of destruction.. 

 

I think maybe I should take a hiatus. 

[missmuffet]

20 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up being a christian. I've been saved and baptized twice but I see no fruit in my own life.. 

I've come to a place where I feel weird towards God. I don't trust him at all, I have alot of anger towards him and I genuinely don't want to surrender completely mainly bc I see an example being my brother who's brainwashed and has nothing. 

Idk what to do. 

 

I really don't know how to trust God 

Idk I wish I were full of faith but I'm not. 

 

I just know my situation isn't ideal-- I just feel like a pot of destruction.. 

 

I think maybe I should take a hiatus. 

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31). God has already done all of the work. All you must do is receive, in faith, the salvation God offers (Ephesians 2:8-9). Fully trust in Jesus alone as the payment for your sins. Believe in Him, and you will not perish (John 3:16). God is offering you salvation as a gift. All you have to do is accept it. Jesus is the way of salvation (John 14:6).

[Vine Abider]

20 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up being a christian. I've been saved and baptized twice but I see no fruit in my own life.. 

I've come to a place where I feel weird towards God. I don't trust him at all, I have alot of anger towards him and I genuinely don't want to surrender completely mainly bc I see an example being my brother who's brainwashed and has nothing. 

Idk what to do. 

 

I really don't know how to trust God 

Idk I wish I were full of faith but I'm not. 

 

I just know my situation isn't ideal-- I just feel like a pot of destruction.. 

 

I think maybe I should take a hiatus. 

I've had lots of those kinds of feelings over the years.  And the bottom-line is this:  Feelings are just feelings and have zero bearing on God's love for us. Our feelings are all over the place, but His love is rock solid - He loves us and purposes the very best for us!

I took a hiatus a couple times.  One time I thought for sure God just wanted me dead, and thought He was just out to punish me. Then one day He showed me His purpose was all about His love, and came to see that all those negative thoughts were a lie.  We have an enemy, whose purpose is to steal, kill and destroy us, and to keep us from knowing how amazing God really is.  The enemy's full time job is to accuse you and make you feel bad and lacking regarding your salvation.

Have you had an initial salvation experience?  That is, did you pray to receive Christ into you and had an assurance, that is, a witness in your being that He was your Savior?  If so, then His life came into you as a divine seed and your were born-again as a child of God!  And if you received Him, you don't stop being a child of God just because your feelings are all wonky.  Now you can choose to either let that life in you grow or not.

Here's what I do - there's power in the name of Jesus and no other name has been given whereby we must be saved.  And calling on the name of Jesus is not just a one time thing - we need to call on Him all the time!  So when those depressing/slanderous thoughts come to you, pray something like this: "Lord Jesus help me!  I don't feel like God loves me and I'm depressed where I am in life.  But I'm here calling on You to help and I just give these thoughts and feelings to You.  Lord Jesus, show me what's really going on and how much You love me!" 

You can also boldly declare to the enemy, "I have been purchased by the blood of Jesus and God loves me!  You are the one that's depressed, because your destiny is the lake of fire - so leave me alone in the name of the Lord Jesus!"

[Michael37]

20 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I think maybe I should take a hiatus. 

Stay on the line, stay beside the Living Water and keep looking to Christ, love God then no matter what happens it will all work out for good.

Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Heb 12:1-2  Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  (2)  looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

[Jedi4Yahweh]

20 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up being a christian. I've been saved and baptized twice but I see no fruit in my own life.. 

I've come to a place where I feel weird towards God. I don't trust him at all, I have alot of anger towards him and I genuinely don't want to surrender completely mainly bc I see an example being my brother who's brainwashed and has nothing. 

Idk what to do. 

 

I really don't know how to trust God 

Idk I wish I were full of faith but I'm not. 

 

I just know my situation isn't ideal-- I just feel like a pot of destruction.. 

 

I think maybe I should take a hiatus. 

Don't give up.  Seek God with all your heart, mind and strength.  God puts us sometimes in dry lands to test us and see if we will remain true to him and rely on him.  A fruit trees needs both sunlight and periods of darkness to grow and produce fruit. Let these scriptures instruct and comfort you:

Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight [is] in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly [are] not so: but [are] like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish. - Psa 1:1-6 KJV

[farouk]

Reckon with prayer and the Scriptures.

Look above (Hebrews 12.2) and don't get caught up with personal feelings.

[Debp]

21 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up being a christian. I've been saved and baptized twice but I see no fruit in my own life.. 

I've come to a place where I feel weird towards God. I don't trust him at all, I have alot of anger towards him and I genuinely don't want to surrender completely mainly bc I see an example being my brother who's brainwashed and has nothing. 

Idk what to do. 

 

I really don't know how to trust God 

Idk I wish I were full of faith but I'm not. 

 

I just know my situation isn't ideal-- I just feel like a pot of destruction.. 

 

I think maybe I should take a hiatus. 

I think you need to get your eyes off of yourself and think more of what the Lord has done and is doing. 

All of us must keep our eyes on the Lord day by day... having faith in Him.   Jesus Christ is our only hope in life.   And walking with the Lord is a good life, nothing to fear.   Don't look at other people's lives, just trust the Lord.

"Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith"  Hebrews 12:2

[BornAgain490]

The more you read His word, the more you'll hear Him speak to you. If you want to hear God audibly speak to you, read His word out loud. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will guide your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6).

[AdHoc]

22 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up being a christian. I've been saved and baptized twice but I see no fruit in my own life.. 

I've come to a place where I feel weird towards God. I don't trust him at all, I have alot of anger towards him and I genuinely don't want to surrender completely mainly bc I see an example being my brother who's brainwashed and has nothing. 

Idk what to do. 

 

I really don't know how to trust God 

Idk I wish I were full of faith but I'm not. 

 

I just know my situation isn't ideal-- I just feel like a pot of destruction.. 

 

I think maybe I should take a hiatus. 

My oldest grandson wants to be a biologist. He's 13 and very informed about dinosaurs and the big crocodiles. But I guess its at least ten years of study till he gets there. Next year, a whole year will have passed and he is still not a biologist. 2026 too will be a year of nothing. And then, suddenly, he'll be graduating. But then are years of field trips and whatever field biologists do to get to post an article in National Geographic.

Peter's name is not for nothing. It means " a stone". He is a precious stone for God's House. Also from Peter comes "petrify" - the process of turning wood into stone. And until it is a precious stone - fit for God's House, it could take a million years. The fruit comes at THE END. Up until then its FAITH.

Just your cry on this thread shows you care. Join the club of Sarah's - the barren, UNTIL God gives His fruit in due time - and then comes the great nation. Just live your life, pray, and read God's Word out loud and one day you'll give a beggar $100 .... gladly. Then you'll know that God LOVES a cheerful giver. Now that's fruit ...

[missmuffet]

4 minutes ago, AdHoc said:

My oldest grandson wants to be a biologist. He's 13 and very informed about dinosaurs and the big crocodiles. But I guess its at least ten years of study till he gets there. Next year, a whole year will have passed and he is still not a biologist. 2026 too will be a year of nothing. And then, suddenly, he'll be graduating. But then are years of field trips and whatever field biologists do to get to post an article in National Geographic.

Peter's name is not for nothing. It means " a stone". He is a precious stone for God's House. Also from Peter comes "petrify" - the process of turning wood into stone. And until it is a precious stone - fit for God's House, it could take a million years. The fruit comes at THE END. Up until then its FAITH.

Just your cry on this thread shows you care. Join the club of Sarah's - the barren, UNTIL God gives His fruit in due time - and then comes the great nation. Just live your life, pray, and read God's Word out loud and one day you'll give a beggar $100 .... gladly. Then you'll know that God LOVES a cheerful giver. Now that's fruit ...

You are right just her cry on this thread shows her concern. An agnostic or atheist would not care. Good analogy.