Dealing with Non-Religious Parents

[enoob57]

14 minutes ago, LaurenMay said:

even though it doesn’t always align with my interests.

That is the sorrow isn't it?... they love this world and only this world, knowing, they can't remain or keep any of it, that is the deep down crack in their armor of no god belief. If the issue of reality of God ever comes up in discussion, you know, they are relying totally on this world and their body senses to verify their perceived reality. This is an advantage for you to point out how many things they believe in, 'yet', their senses cannot perceive such- like, viruses, atoms, distant galaxies etc. and still they believe by the words of others. Perhaps it will show them their unfair bias toward God's witness of Himself in His Word...

[Guest LaurenMay]

It is not necessarily the composition or structure of such debates that is the issue, more so the personal discomfort it causes to me, and a general feeling of stress in my home when I’m with them which I can’t escape because I live there.

[enoob57]

It is the difference of hearts: that which is separated out from God and that which has been brought back into closeness with Him. God is a unity and there can only be tension of this separation with the two types of hearts...
This is the living Word within you
Romans 8:16 (KJV)

[16] The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:

Hence the grief/tension with those who are not...

[farouk]

4 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

So a little update, I mentioned to my Father today that I would love him to explain why he does not believe, and as his loving daughter, I’m always to discuss with him about God’s love, even if I know it’s not comfortable for him.

He laughed and told me he doesn’t want to discuss fairytales, and that the sooner I get out of this phase I was in the better. 
Naturally this made me upset, so I’m in my room now reading some of my favourite passages from the bible and wishing I didn’t annoy him too much because I hate when he’s annoyed. 
 

Is maybe just holding my faith inside and close with him best?

Hi @LaurenMay Making sure that prayer and the Scriptures are pursued day by day and radiating a quiet, consistent testimony are the best course of action, so often..............

[farouk]

4 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

I do try to honor them. I respect them, and I do obey them, even though it doesn’t always align with my interests.

Always good to respect and honor them, yes, indeed.

[Who me]

13 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

He laughed and told me he doesn’t want to discuss fairytales,

I'm  sorry  that your Father responded in this way. It is a very hurtful  response. 

May I suggest you do your research  as to why the evidence supports a belief  in God and wait for an opportunity to ask him why he calls Christianity ' fairy tales ' ?

Be prepared for him to dismiss you again with mockery and to be ready to respond with " So your contempt is unreasonable unthinking prejudice! " 

Do continue to pray for him and your Mother.

[Debp]

9 hours ago, farouk said:

Hi @LaurenMay Making sure that prayer and the Scriptures are pursued day by day and radiating a quiet, consistent testimony are the best course of action, so often..............

@LaurenMay  I agree with @farouk

Live your Christian life in the Lord and love your parents.    Pray they will eventually see the light.   Since your father is mocking, no need to continue telling him about faith right now.

[Retrobyter]

20 hours ago, LaurenMay said:

So a little update, I mentioned to my Father today that I would love him to explain why he does not believe, and as his loving daughter, I’m always to discuss with him about God’s love, even if I know it’s not comfortable for him.

He laughed and told me he doesn’t want to discuss fairytales, and that the sooner I get out of this phase I was in the better. 
Naturally this made me upset, so I’m in my room now reading some of my favourite passages from the bible and wishing I didn’t annoy him too much because I hate when he’s annoyed. 
 

Is maybe just holding my faith inside and close with him best?

Shabbat shalom, (a Sabbath of peace), @LaurenMay.

You might ask him, "Have you ever considered that, to an Infinite God, YOU'D be the 'fairytale?'" Ask him, "who or what has convinced you that God is not real?" And, if he says, "science," remind him that it didn't stop Sir Isaac Newton from believing in Him.

And, you might consider, if the opportunity arises, to say to him that it's not a "phase"; it's a LIFESTYLE CHOICE.

There's an underlying story in your father's history that's led him to his conclusion. Maybe it's the death of a loved one he begged God not to take, or a special pet, or maybe he's asked for something else that he didn't get. In any case, it's a common fallacy that an Infinite, Perfect God would have to cater to a person such as us, a creature less than a bug to Him, but for whom He still amazingly cares.

Be patient with him, love him, and ask God to reveal Himself to your father. Ask your REAL Father, YHWH God, to give you the right words to say at the right time, but don't hurry with an answer. Let God lead you.

Here's another thought: Is there someone who your father really respects that you might know IS a believer? If so, that person might be the means through which God may work in your father's life. In either case, PRAY for him, and trust God to do the miraculous in his life.

[Fran C]

On 1/9/2025 at 9:25 PM, LaurenMay said:

This kind of piggybacks off the “How to be friends with non-believers” thread, except I was hoping to gain some more specific insight for my situation.

Both my parents are non-religious, my father in particular is quite antagonistic towards organised religion as a whole. 
I was raised in a non-religious environment but now, as the only one of faith in the family, I can’t exactly just find new parents as easily as I could move on from a group of non-believer friends.

I am trying to balance the immense love and respect I have for them with the things that trouble me because of all this. My father is disdainful of my choice, mocks me, has at least on one occasion removed a simple cross necklace I have from the house, and other things like this including saying I’d die a virgin cause no boys gonna want a christian know it all. My mother has just distanced herself from me. I’m scared to bring up my faith with them, I know they don’t wanna hear it, but at the same time I just wanna share the great things I’m learning and reading about.

anyway that’s my concern.
 

Hi LaurenMay

I don't usually give advice but the above seems to be an easy one for me and I'll give you my opinion without having read what anyone else advised you.

The commandment is not that we should love our parents...the commandment is that we should honor them.  Google what this means, I won't get into it here.  Nice if you could love them too, but even if we don't we still have to honor them.

I'm not saying you don't honor your parents.  I'm saying that this is what you have to do.  My advice would be to leave them alone about your faith.  They don't want to hear about it so don't bring it up.  Saint Francis (I think it was him) had a great saying:  ALWAYS WITNESS, AND WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, USE WORDS.  I think you'll know what that means.  Your life will be your witness.  

If you force them to hear about your faith, it'll only make them feel far from you and they'll only become more upset.  I have a friend that just does not want to hear about God...it makes her really upset.  So I leave her alone about it.  Once in a blue moon I'll mention something really quick...I'm not sure that in your case you should even do that.

Accept the fact that you cannot share this part of your life with them...there are many other moments to share.  Be positive and joyful...share with your Christian friends and acquaintances...be happy you have them.  Some don't even have that.

I think that if you do this things will change.  The time might come when you can share with them.  It's up to them. We all know about God and we all make our own decisions.  This does not mean I'm against witnessing.

Re what your father said.  I find it horrific.  Any man would be happy to be with a woman that hasn't been with 2 to 5 men by the time she's about 21, which is what is going on today.  Follow your heart and be happy.  Better alone than badly yoked.

God bless you.

[Guest LaurenMay]

12 hours ago, Fran C said:

Hi LaurenMay

I don't usually give advice but the above seems to be an easy one for me and I'll give you my opinion without having read what anyone else advised you.

The commandment is not that we should love our parents...the commandment is that we should honor them.  Google what this means, I won't get into it here.  Nice if you could love them too, but even if we don't we still have to honor them.

I'm not saying you don't honor your parents.  I'm saying that this is what you have to do.  My advice would be to leave them alone about your faith.  They don't want to hear about it so don't bring it up.  Saint Francis (I think it was him) had a great saying:  ALWAYS WITNESS, AND WHEN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, USE WORDS.  I think you'll know what that means.  Your life will be your witness.  

If you force them to hear about your faith, it'll only make them feel far from you and they'll only become more upset.  I have a friend that just does not want to hear about God...it makes her really upset.  So I leave her alone about it.  Once in a blue moon I'll mention something really quick...I'm not sure that in your case you should even do that.

Accept the fact that you cannot share this part of your life with them...there are many other moments to share.  Be positive and joyful...share with your Christian friends and acquaintances...be happy you have them.  Some don't even have that.

I think that if you do this things will change.  The time might come when you can share with them.  It's up to them. We all know about God and we all make our own decisions.  This does not mean I'm against witnessing.

Re what your father said.  I find it horrific.  Any man would be happy to be with a woman that hasn't been with 2 to 5 men by the time she's about 21, which is what is going on today.  Follow your heart and be happy.  Better alone than badly yoked.

God bless you.

This has given me so much to think about. Actions do speak louder than words after all you’re right. 
and yes it was horrifying what he says, but we all say things in the heat of frustration sometime I don’t know I didn’t let it get to me.