Marriage, Divorce, & Remarriage

[Sherman]

Hello again everyone,

So, what do you believe about MDR and why do you believe it? I do have some pretty strong beliefs on this issue but of course am open to learning more and especially being corrected. It's a controversial issue, but I hope that we can share with grace and mutual respect.

Blessings,

Sherman

[Matthitjah]

Grace to you,

Brother Sherman, I believe that Divorce grieves God's heart and that it is never His ideal for us. However that He is Most Merciful and Outrageously Graceful towards us.

Peace,

Dave

[Sherman]

Thanks Dave, I agree! Divorce is tragic, always the result of sin, and often even sinful itself. But we do serve an awesome God that forgives and is merciful as you said.

[Redefine_Me]

Thanks Dave, I agree! Divorce is tragic, always the result of sin, and often even sinful itself. But we do serve an awesome God that forgives and is merciful as you said.

The thing to keep in mind is that while divorce is always the result of sin, it is not always sin on both sides. Yet, the person who remained Godly often gets the same judgment from those who look on from inside the church. I don't believe it is possible to set one statement about divorce/remarriage. There are reasons for the allowance of remarriage, I believe, for those whose spouse was unfaithful or whose spouse chose to leave them and were an unbeliever (or in some cases, both). I know, in my case, my husband had affairs - and I chose to remain married, believing that it was where God wanted me to be. Yet my husband left anyway and filed for divorce, etc. Do I believe I am free to remarry? Yes - if God chooses to lead me down that path. I know one thing, though.... this time God will be doing the husband choosing.... not me.... lol.

[s7000]

Malachi Chapter 2 or 3 states that God hates divorce.

[Axxman]

I am divorced. My wife left me for another man. I did everything I could think of to save my marriage. I even refused to sign divorce papers. My divorce still haunts me to this day. It is the "mark of shame" on my life. I HATE being that statistic!

I am remarried. God has blessed me with a beautiful wife, who in turn provided me with four great kids. I love them with everything I have within me. Yet my divorce still haunts me.

[Agape_CTL]

Marriage is a blessing given to us from God. It is a relationship we can learn from and walk out our faith in. Sin has destroyed many marriages, that is what sin does. The wages of sin is death, more than just a physical death.

If sin is running rappent in a marriage it is not what God wanted it to be like. God hates sin. It is a distortion of God's gift.

The bible is clear that adultry is the only thing that can disolve a marriage. And even through that God can heal a marriage.

If a marriage does end in divorce there is forgiveness. Divorce is not what God wants. I know sometimes only one of the members of a marriage wants the divorce. I have a friend I pray with every week night that is going thru this right now. He wants his wife to return but she may not.

[Redefine_Me]

Malachi Chapter 2 or 3 states that God hates divorce.

Yes, but it doesn't say he hates those who get divorced, whether by their own choice or by their spouses. Of course God hates divorce. It hurts his children and is not in the plan he laid out for our lives. Marriage is a bonding - a covenant, and the breaking of a covenant is a ripping - a tearing to separate what never had a plan to be separated. And to try to separate that bond is painful and traumatic - of course God hates divorce.

[Sherman]

Everyone, thanks for sharing. And by the way, I believe the traditional interpretation of Mal.2.16 "God hates divorce" is erroneous. The Jews had two types of divorce; 1) divorces based on morally acceptable reasons & 2) divorces based on selfish reasons. Divorces based on selfish reasons were called "Hateful Divorces." In Mal.2.16 God is chastizing the men of Israel for breaking their covenants. They were even divorcing the Jewish wives of their youth and marrying younger foreign women. God was so upset at these men for such "Hateful divorces" that He was not even listening to their prayers or accepting the worship of their sacrifices!

Furthermore, saying "God hates divorce" is about as senseless as saying "God hates amputation." Well, we certainly don't want to go around hacking people's legs off. But if someone is dying from gangreen and amputating his leg will save his life, then doctors being able to do so is a blessing from God.

So, I believe a better translation of Mal.2.16 is that God says that the "Hateful Divorce" is evil and one who does so is a violent selfish evil person!

Even so, God's forgiveness and mercy is still available for those who have been the cause of such pain in other's lives. God's mercy is new every morning!

[anitarose]

Gotta put my two cents in.....

Like Zoe, I'm going through a horrendous divorce. My husband left me for another MAN. Several other men, in fact. I was away from God when we split up, and now I'm waiting for Legal Aid to get in touch with me.

I know that God hates divorce, but I also believe that He hates homosexuality worse than divorce. Sin might be sin, but there's gotta be some degrees of sin, IMHO. God told me that my marriage was over the day it started because of my ex's sin, and all I need to do is pray for him. God will give me the right, Godly man for my life. I have to be patient (ewwww) and wait (even more ewwwwww) for God to bring him to me.

Sometimes I wonder if I jumped the gun with God and just married to get married. I don't know, and I doubt I'll ever know. But I have learned a lot about myself over the last 2 years.

I just have to remember that, in this case, God IS in control. He has been all along. Again, it's that patience issue that I hate--the waiting that goes along with it. As long as I stay in His Word, and stay wrapped up in His Love, I know that whatever His plans for me I'll go along with because they are the best plans for me.

I hope that all makes sense.

Anita