Is this over the top or normal..

[PreciousRubi]

Extravagant wedding plans! Definitely!....But the age is not a problem.

They both sound mature enough.

The fact is that we used to marry and have children, while hubby works.

These days its a matter of, get a career first, don't get married too young, have children, perhaps as late as in your 30's and even 40's.

This new-fashioned way, in my opinion, leads to all kinds of un-godly life-styles.

It's an invitation to living together and having children out of wedlock.

I think your nephew is wise to marry at this age. It's God's way.

May He bless them both in this union.

PR

Edited December 8, 2007 by PreciousRubi

[damo1]

damo1

high grace222

i can see wear you are comming from i took my time to read this and as you see every one has a diffrent view on this and please do not let this up set you yes they are too young how i wish i was like this but i did not think of things like this as you would know our welfare system very well when i had my first relationship with a female i met at katoomba youth refuge in 1987 both me and sharron wear on a centerlink payment living in a youth refuge and we decided to tell center link we wear a couple but defacto relationship was put on our centerlink payment as the youth workers wear controling our money on our behalf

as we wear both 16yr old not wanted by our parents sharron was escaping her mother as her mother was a full on jahova wittnes and the only one that stayed with mum was sharrons youngest sister as the older ones moved out of home very fast when dad divorced mum as sharrons mother was very forcfull and so wear the elders of the church her mum was involved in as sharron was told with sevral elders who decided to turn up one day if you can not handle your mothers rules and wishes for you and your other sisters and brother you better pack your stuff and leave this is what the elders told not just sharron but all her sisters as their wear 4 sisters plus her brother who is no longer alive

we had mark when sharron just turned 17 and we found out that mark had autisem so sharrons mother took mark in as we both had a fal out sharron went and lived with a big time drug dealer while i went of the rails

my second wife who i met when cheryl was 19 was also a jahova wittness and in the same situation as sharron but cheryl was living with two elderly men who wear shofers for parliment house one of them was pressuring cheryl to sleep with him as she was very pretty and i could see why so i took her into the flat i was renting and cheryl stayed with me until sevral people found out and word got out that we wear living together so a friend who took me in when i came out of jail took cheryl in just to keep the back lash at hold as sevral people wear gossiping wel i did sleep with cheryl sevral times before we got married and finaly the church decided to help out with wedding and my old pastor married us cost nothing as every one pitched in and we wear able to invite her side and my side the only ones who turned up from my side was my uncle and my grandfather and best friend from teen challange who use to be a satanic priest

i was blown away by what the people of oconner unitting church did for me and cheryl even the wedding cake payed and bought by one of the elders matthew and dean played for us we got married and the songs we chose was power of your love and shine jesus shine and elshadi

yet we fel appart

kristina came into my life in jan 2006 and her church is pitching in for our wedding when i am their in jan 2008 all i have to do is pay for the rings her wedding dress and i wil be buying the traditional gear the filapino males wear as i am going to get messured when i am their for the 2 weeks we worked out our cost also for extra things is only going to cost $ 800 filiapino dollars as kristinas aunty is going to do al the cooking as she is a cheff and wil do our wedding cake some of the elders and the members are also going to cook so its going to be a big church family get together with her family and just me as kristina is head pastor and has 7 pastors under her i cried when kristina told me all i am bringing with me is about 40 little koalas on rings to give out to sevral people that we have chossen and every one else is not that concernd as they want me and kristina to be happy grace

i feel that they wil do this with out your approval and i can see how up set you are over this but please do not let it eat at you step back and just let it go if you have tried to talk to them both and they have not heard you this wil just get your nephew on your bad side he is making good money and the men in the navy and army can afford this

at least he did not do the same mistakes as i did when i was 16yrs old grace i slept around a lot and had a lot of one night stands he sort of has his head on at such a young age yes they are babes but we have babies in this town having babies of their own and some of the girls i know are only from age 13 to 14 yrs of age i am god father to one of the girls i know and i cant help but be their when this young girl does call up out of the blue

i feel for you grace and i wil pray for gods peace to rest on you and your husband

god bless from your brother in the lord damien stipic

[Marnie]

This is an extravagant wedding!!

when I was 19 years of age, I was still helping my mother and father

around the home. I was only a baby.

They are babies. They are not mature adults.

That's what I was thinking, too. At 19, how could this girl possibly know what she wants, I mean in terms of a wedding. It's not like she's attended a lot to compare and dream about. People who know the Lord can do stupid things, too. I'm speaking from personal experience. lol

Oh well. It's her day; let her have it her way.

[Guest Biblicist]

This is an extravagant wedding!!

when I was 19 years of age, I was still helping my mother and father

around the home. I was only a baby.

They are babies. They are not mature adults.

That's what I was thinking, too. At 19, how could this girl possibly know what she wants, I mean in terms of a wedding. It's not like she's attended a lot to compare and dream about. People who know the Lord can do stupid things, too. I'm speaking from personal experience. lol

Oh well. It's her day; let her have it her way.

grace & Marnie,

I knew what I wanted and who I wanted to marry when I was 13. We just recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.

My son, 15, met his future wife in 3rd grade. They are deeply committed to each other and he is preparing to have a future with her. Every decision he makes for his life, he considers her feelings and expectations of him as a husband.

When you know, you just know, and age has nothing to do with it.

[sierra21]

Personally, I think it's a lot to spend on a wedding. Personally, I think when I was 19 I would have been an awful wife and would have had no idea what I was doing in a marriage.

BUT

This isn't me. Some people are willing to pay whatever it takes to have their dream wedding, even if it means going into debt. And I have seen some very mature young people in my time. Take my brother. He was 18 when he became a police officer, and 20 when he got engaged. He was already with his wife to be at 19 and could have very well gotten married to her if the oppurtunity had been right. So age isn't always an issue for everyone. Some people know what they want and don't see any harm in having it right away.

And really, no one has the right to say anything to them on the matter. It isn't anyones business but their own- they are adults after all.

[ladypeartree]

when I was 19 years of age, I was still helping my mother and father

around the home. I was only a baby.

They are babies. They are not mature adults.

Try telling the soldiers getting killed all over the world that they are just babies and do not know their own minds..or the police officers who have to face crazed gunmen or bombs or have to deal with the results of traffic accidents and suiceds or murders that they are only babies and do not know their own minds. If he is in the navy then presumably the navy think he is old enough to know his own mind and ..if need be ..to die for his country

If you are being asked to pay for the wedding then you have a right to say no and that you think it is too much and the money could be put to better use ...but if you are not then it is a matter for the person or people who are paying and if they think it is what they want to do with their money then it is their decision...what is right for one person or couple is not always going to be right for everyone else

[sierra21]

when I was 19 years of age, I was still helping my mother and father

around the home. I was only a baby.

They are babies. They are not mature adults.

Try telling the soldiers getting killed all over the world that they are just babies and do not know their own minds..or the police officers who have to face crazed gunmen or bombs or have to deal with the results of traffic accidents and suiceds or murders that they are only babies and do not know their own minds. If he is in the navy then presumably the navy think he is old enough to know his own mind and ..if need be ..to die for his country

If you are being asked to pay for the wedding then you have a right to say no and that you think it is too much and the money could be put to better use ...but if you are not then it is a matter for the person or people who are paying and if they think it is what they want to do with their money then it is their decision...what is right for one person or couple is not always going to be right for everyone else

Right on the money (no pun intended...)

[Marnie]

This is an extravagant wedding!!

when I was 19 years of age, I was still helping my mother and father

around the home. I was only a baby.

They are babies. They are not mature adults.

That's what I was thinking, too. At 19, how could this girl possibly know what she wants, I mean in terms of a wedding. It's not like she's attended a lot to compare and dream about. People who know the Lord can do stupid things, too. I'm speaking from personal experience. lol

Oh well. It's her day; let her have it her way.

grace & Marnie,

I knew what I wanted and who I wanted to marry when I was 13. We just recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.

My son, 15, met his future wife in 3rd grade. They are deeply committed to each other and he is preparing to have a future with her. Every decision he makes for his life, he considers her feelings and expectations of him as a husband.

When you know, you just know, and age has nothing to do with it.

Yeah, like I said, it's her day, and if she doesn't do it her way, she'll regret it for as long as she is married to this guy. Which, we hope will be a lifetime, although given divorce statistics among first time Christian marriages of couples under 25, the odds are good it won't last that long.

All I can say is WOW, Bib, you're remarkable! You knew who you wanted to marry and how you wanted to marry him at 13! I have to say, I'm genuinely impressed; at 13, I was a tomboy who had a less than a zero interest in boys, and romance. But, that as they say, is a topic for another day.

[Marnie]

You know what, I just re-read the OP and it occurred to me that these arrangements seem pretty routine. Since we've been married, Mike has performed, maybe half a dozen weddings, and I've been involved in all of them to varying degrees, and without exception, every single on of them was what I would consider seriously over the top. So, maybe "over the top" is how weddings are supposed to be these days. I swear, in our church, for a while over the summer, it seemed there was a kind of a "wedding one-up-manship" going on!

[traveller]

200 invited guests does not mean 200 attendees. You send invitations to friends and relatives even when you know they won't be coming. I think the current percentage is about 60-40. And it's unusual to figure costs per hear without including all the expenses, but even if they did that - the remaining expenses wouldn't add up to that much. The biggies are the food and entertainment. Actually - at 80 a head, several of the extra expenses have to be included.

I understand your concern as an aunt that loves her family, but I'm sure it has been budgeted and approved by the parents who will be paying.

And, I have to say - I love weddings! It is a celebration of a marvelous gift that the Lord gave us! What promises and opportunities it can mean.

May they continue to cherish and respect and honor one another throughout their married life.