Come On, Let's Go to the Deep End of the Pool!

[damo1]

damo1

thank you another traveler

what you said i wanted to say this hear but i am seeing some do not take heed to what is said i am just reading through this post and to the replys as i am up early and wil be heading of to church

tsth men are diffrent to women men do not even share their true feelings in the secular world as its to wimpy to bring out your real feelings

in the churches i found my self in i found it hard to settle i could not even be friend a male just so i can have some one to talk to as the way i looked and dressed had scared sevral guys of and to me it seems they wear these new age guys i have heard about

i am around some good men in my church tsth and the men god has placed around me are also aborigonal elders and they are seeing this with in their own people especialy the males

it takes time as you need to be able to trust those around you i can trust my pastor and the elders in my church we can go deep and its good having men that you can be your self and when you say something from the heart it wil not be taken as a joke or spread through out the community as what is said in our talks stays with us

we had one person who did a fair bit of damage it got to the point wear sevral had to just pray and lift this person up to the lord

and this is what i fear being in a public place wear information is stored and any one can read this and as i said if some one wants to be mean their wil be a blog about you

i am in a sticky situation know with a close friend he has had to step down from his role and is living in sin but i am not throwing his sin in his face when ever i am in town and my friend is walking through the mall i go out of my way to stop and talk with him but what hurts me is the looks i get from some of the members that new him and his wife and two daughters

i feel for my friend and i am trying my best to get him to come back but he does not want to have anything to do with god or those he had known i even feel for his wife and two daughters as they have had to leave this community leave the house they wear staying in and the people that welcomed them

but what can one do i love this person and i care about him as i know god has not finished with him yet i can relate as i was their my self i never wanted to come back to god or setlle in a church and as another traveler said with the home less man who sat in a church that showed no love to this man

i know of sevral that live on the street and they feel that no one realy cares yet these guys have not given up on what jesus did for them on the cross they reach out to their own kind and god is working through these home less men in a power full way this is wear it gets me angry to how us humans can get to a stage in our lives and just shut the door on these people and place restrictions and even dress codes

jesus was born in a barn though he could have used his power to his advantage jesus decided to be among the commen people those the church rejected jesus had the disciples around him but did jesus share his deep feelings with his disciples ? jesus had to push his disciples to the point wear he rebuked sevral of them but he never gave up on them when peter stuffed up jesus forgave him

look at the apostle paul did he have any one he could talk to in the situations he found him self in his strength came from god him self not from those paul new often paul was on the move and if he was not on the move he was in jail yet pauls love for god was strong and his love for the lost was strong even his love for timothy this is a rare thing for a man to do and for a man to have love like this for another man is even rare

i would like to go deep in this topic tsth but how far can one go on a forum like this wil this topic help some one or wil this topic tare some one down

we are to build each other up we are to use our gifts we are to also be of service not just in our churches but in our communitys but to get a man to be open is not so simple as one says it is i learnt to hide my true feelings when i was living in sin as my father would often say real men do not cry or show their feelings my father also said a real man has to become tuff to survive in this world and a real man never tells any one his deepest thoughts or what he is struggling with

this is how i was bought up tsth yet i am great full for the men god has put around me and i thank god every day for these men

i even found it hard to open up to the women i found my self attracted to even my x wife and when i did alow her into my life she threw what ever i shared to her in my face and used this against me in the family court to get ethan to her self but i had to forgive her for using what my pastor said to her in the counsling sessions i had with him and today we have a strong relationship wear she rings me up if she is having a hard time or her new husband is not hearing her out she knows i wil be their for her and we can talk deep

god has put a strong god fearing women in my path who i can open up to and i love kristina as she is very caring and encourages me often as i knew i would have to alow a women to see who the real me is i love kristina as she often prays for me and she pushes me to be the man i am meant to be and i tell her every day i love her as i know when i open up to kristina she wil not throw what i say in my face or use this against me

god bless from your brother in the lord damien stipic

[artsylady]

Just yesterday, I confronted a friend at work who seems to get depressed at times; (he's gay) and aging. And I don't think he's altogether happy and satisfied with his life lately. So I began talking with him about another lifestyle. He already professes to be a Christian so I began from that point. After a while , I asked him if he'd ever considered being and living without a male partner. He noted that he'd thought about it especially now that he's getting along in life and is very comfortable by himself. I dare say that I wanted to remind him that if he decides to tackle this style that he might grow old alone, but I thought I'd wait for another opportunity to talk with him at a later time. For now, I gave him much material to hash over in his mind and he claims to have never really liked what he's done and he knows full well that it offends Our Lord God. Well ! That blew me away. I began to think , "If I dared to try to bring another soul to God , especially one with this past. It would definately be a challange for me and that made me all the more determined.

All this to say, that I know I take many risks in a workplace that caters to Government employees, but hey! Wouldn't Jesus have done the same thing if HE were still roaming the earth, especially in a Sinful town like New Orleans? People were shocked by the ravishing Hurricane a few years ago, but I wouldn't even be surprised it God swept a Fire that would consume the entire city of sin, in particular the infamous Burbon Street. Sad I know, but I've seen my share of degradation and rot. And I would be for whatever God plans to get these mindless and sinful people's attention here.

Sorry I rambled a bit but all that to say that we can always find something interesting and deep to talk about here if our hearts in it. But I do know what you're referring to when you speak of the U.S. as a nation and its communities.

That's awesome that you can have a conversation like this and it seems like you exhibited a lot of wisdom, patience and kindness. Keep praying for this guy.

[artsylady]

I like to get deep with people. I like to have conversations they wouldn't have with anyone else. People too often have been told not to discuss religion and politics and I find that if I open up with others, they open up to me. I am not pretentious. I have Jesus but that doesn't make me better than anyone else. I just accepted what He's offered. I'm no different than they are except for that.

I also find that most find it very refreshing to be able to talk on a deep level.

[artsylady]

I feel it's almost therapeutic to talk about in one of these chats, even though I know there's others that don't agree with me about my divorce specifically

That's between you and God. No one else. If h'es broken vows, no one has the right to tell you differently, when God has given you an 'out'. If people are questioning you, they will be judged, not you.

[Fraught]

Is it just me, OR does it seem harder and harder to carry on conversations of depth anymore?

It seems like it's harder and harder to find conditions that are conducive to conversations of depth, and I think people are longing for it.

We're surrounded by mediocrity and superficiality on a day to day basis, so we've gotten used to it. I wonder why?

People are afraid to speak of the things of the heart, unless of course, we're discussing our faith, or witnessing. But, for people just to share feelings about life in general, you just don't hear it much. I especially feel sorry for men. It seems as though men are really hurting for mentors, or even friendships of depth, where guys ask each other and share about finances, work, the places they're at in life.

I think it must have something to do with pride. We might be afraid to share that we're not as far along as the guy next door. Or, maybe that we're troubled by our debt, and how to handle it. I'm speaking of these things, because I know that people are in need of counsel, yet nobody ever asks, or shares about stuff like that.

I found that even within churches, most of the gatherings are social in nature, but not conducive to any deep conversations. It's usually something like potluck dinners and stuff like that. We're people come together, but fellowship is "light" in nature.

Just thinking out loud here, as even among the churches, it seems as though there's something of depth that is missing?

Anybody else noticing this?

In His Love,

Suzanne

it's really sad but i cannot count the number of people who casually ask how i'm doing and then respond back without even hearing what i've said. when asked, try saying "okay, i guess" in a moderately gloomy way then listen as they spout out "oh, that's great to hear" as they're walking on by you.

this has become a pet peeve with me and now i don't ask the same question of anyone unless i'm prepared to actually stop, listen and respond accordingly.

[patricia1]

well...I cannot believe what I am seeing on these posts.

There are only two things I hold back from here.

I hold them back because of judgemental responses I have seen in other threads...the arguements, contention, name calling...accusations..Lets get down to the nitty gritty here.

I have been P.M. 'd by more than one person considering leaving these boards.

The surface here seems smooth in this pool, go down a little further, the tide starts getting strong, a little more deeper and it becomes mucky , go to the bottom and there is all kinds of debris there that noone wants to contend with, even within ourselves.

We do not always have to agree each other. Has anybody ever taken a look at how the tribes were positioned in the land?

They were positioned to keep certain tribes from fighting with others.

Those who were strong were set up at the part of land that had the greatest warriors that can come to take over.

then there were those who were positioned because they got along well and had other talents.

there are a lot of christians and nonchristians here, we are all brothers and sisters and yet I know who I can share with and who I cannot.

And it is not because of what others think...it is because of the black and white opinions. Sorry but I rather be of help, than cause a post to go into different directions .... sincerly patricia...

[AnotherTraveler]

Hey AnotherTraveler,

That's pretty good, but it doesn't count, cause the post is in cyber. But, the discussion with your friend DOES!

Now, I wanted to ask about this comment:

Not to dismiss the need to be touchy-feely, but many men simply don't need nor want to explore their "feminine side". An in depth conversation among many men (non Christians) often involves strong sexual overtones because that is a primary driving force in men or sports issues because men are physically driven to competition due to the effects of the male hormone. These are the major communication areas of natural men (there are others, but this is socially dominate), and when a man gets saved, converting from the ways of the world to walk in Christ Jesus does not mean that now the man is interested in being feminine, yet there has been a strong delusion sent by the devil to pervert what a man in Christ Jesus should be (the same has happened to women).

Are you saying that men don't have a need to compare notes on life, and hear encouragement? (I don't mean for that question to sound snottty, it's just the question, I wanted to ask. So, pretend your hearing it in a very kindly and sweet tone, that I would be speaking it, if we were in person. )

I'm just curious, because I know that my husband needs man friendships that are a little deeper than the workplace chitchat stuff. I also think that in this day and time, that there is a great need for some elderly mentorship. Even though I'm not sure that it would always be received, I think mentors, are a great thing. You know, the titus type mentoring. (Just thinkin out loud again.)

I want to come back to your post and read it again, and think on it some more. I'm getting ready to leave, so this was just a "post and run".

In His Love,

Suzanne

"Are you saying that men don't have a need to compare notes on life, and hear encouragement?"

No, I think good friendship, fellowship, and mentoring are wonderful. I absolutely agree that there is a great lack of mature men's interaction, but part of that problem is the danger of wounds and offenses that open and honest communications allow.

An example is I am fighting discouragment right this minute because someone that was confiding to me troubling issues has taken a very serious turn for the worse (literally the police came looking for him a few hours ago), and you can't help but care as you see some turn from the good and right council of the Word of God to the foolish and destructive ways of sin. I will be shortly going to prayer, and I will spend some time weeping before the Lord for him, and that is masculine, and the right response, but it is also something that would normally be very private between myself and the Lord.

I take the natural aggression that I have and apply it usually in prayer, for fighting the good fight of faith is a very real fight. Keeping your body, bringing it into subjection to the Spirit of God is a "die daily" situation, and that is also a very real part of the fight of faith. I would say a very large percentage of succeeding as a man in Christ is caring the true responsibilities that you are born to carry, never quit being the man you are supposed to be, never leave your post, nevere leave your wife, never leave your children, or your grandchildren. Don't quit. If you fall down, get up. It is the way of the righteous man.

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.

Prov 24:16 (KJV)

[patricia1]

men most certainly do!!! My male friends are on the line more than me..( phone line that is) and Gossips..I had no brothers and I never knew men to be as or even more caddy. They are often forgotten though. They want to fix it all up. We just want to talk...hahaha

[tsth]

I take the natural aggression that I have and apply it usually in prayer, for fighting the good fight of faith is a very real fight. Keeping your body, bringing it into subjection to the Spirit of God is a "die daily" situation, and that is also a very real part of the fight of faith. I would say a very large percentage of succeeding as a man in Christ is caring the true responsibilities that you are born to carry, never quit being the man you are supposed to be, never leave your post, nevere leave your wife, never leave your children, or your grandchildren. Don't quit. If you fall down, get up. It is the way of the righteous man.

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.

Prov 24:16 (KJV)

Wonderful counsel, and certainly full of wisdom. I think that is a good summary of a righteous man, Another.

Your post, and your heartache, are what I am talking about. Where are the godly men that should be joining you in prayer over this? I guess, I'm wondering what happened to the godly "groups" of men, of old. (oops, chasing another rabbit, aren't I?) In Scripture, it is the MEN who are in groups, leading, discussing, encouraging, sharing, working together to form what God desires. Men in the Scriptures were MADE of DEEP ISSUES. (You know what I mean?) It was the men who were joining together to encourage, lead, and support. It's hard today, to find godly men as a group, leading the women and children. Anyway, I agree, from your comment above, that you would have been counted among that group of men, in the OT. I just would like to see godly men rise up, who are "leading" from what is right, rather than what is pleasing to other men, or women, for that matter.

In His Love,

Suzanne