Christian friendships

[grace222]

My husband and I formed a friendship with a Pastor who just happened to live in the same street where we were currently renting a little granny flat.

The year was 1999.

We became good friends and started meeting with him for bible studies.

Over time, the bible studies grew and we met other people.

There were some issues that bothered us about our Pastor friend, but nevertheless, we still kept in touch and met for bible studies to encourage one another.

The issues that bothered us were his tendency to become "legalistic" at times.

He was not happy with the fact that we were saving to purchase a home. He said that we had to be content where the Lord had us.

He was a single man and lived in a home that the church paid for so I guess It was ok for him!

So he prayed against it. However, the Lord blessed us with a humble home that we managed to buy at a good price, and nearly 8 years later, we are still living here with never ever being late in a payment with our mortgage.

Our friendship continued despite this issue.

We continued to meet for bible studies and these extended to bbqs, picnics and times at our place for fun and relaxation.

Eventually, he had to move out of the area - a move that took him about 40 minutes from our place.

He asked my husband to help move him as my husband is a truck driver.

So, we helped move him back in 2006. And, we never heard from him again!!

We have sent cards and maybe left a message or two on his phone but he never responded.

Another friend of ours(who was also a big part of the bible study) developed CFS and moved further north. We rarely here from him.

There are days when I feel sad that our friends no longer keep in touch with us after having a friendship for so long.

My husband isn't that sad about it. He says, "We all move on".

I know that's true, but as christians, I feel as though we could still manage to keep in contact even if it was for once or twice a year.

My husband's 39 year old brother passed away tragically in November 2007 and my Mother in law

phoned our pastor friend to tell her. He didn't come to the funeral nor did he send a card or just make a call to my husband.

My husband feels as though he has become too legalistic to do this now.

It truly hurts.

Do you think Christian friendships should end?

[David of Derby]

Christian friendships are no different to any other. A very wise man once said, friends come and go. Appreciate them for what they are, and when they're gone, remember them for what they were. It's good advice and said far better than any terribly-British rambling I could offer.

[AnotherTraveler]

Your "legalistic" friend sounds like he needs your prayers. Even if he is not responding to you, pray for him, for it sounds like he is being blinded by the enemy as to how love responds.

[Jacshan]

I fully and truly empathize with you Grace. This seems to be normal in churches as we get older. In fact it has happenned to me and y wife as well. I was a deacon, youth leader and song leader as well. Infact I am making a study and preparing a sermon on related topics. No I dont think Christian frienships should end. I will send you copies of my study as I progress if you wish. Infact I am discussing what I am studying with some leaders at Worthy Boards.

Thanks for notifying me about your post. May it was the Worthy Boards that did it.

Jacshan

[wc4Jc]

Hi, As this is my first post on this forum, I find it quite interesting to begin with this one. I recently set up an account on FaithFreaks and one of my blogs concerns friendship.

A friendship is a two-sided relationship, in which I see it necessary, that in order to be a true friend, one must be willing to make sacrifices when it comes to having different opinions. Will friends always agree? Don't think so, but will a true friend simply quit the relationship, over the disagreement?

As for a "Christian Friendship" vs friendship....the Christians should be more willing to not let it end. too many people today are simply concerned with them self and could care lees what happens to others.

I am in a situation currently with similar concerns, and it is not easy to deal with. I will pray that your friend will realize what he is doing and make thing's right.

[AnExample]

Some people are placed in your life for a season for a special purpose, and when that season is over, the person is no longer in your life on a consistent basis. And...everyone you meet has a purpose in your life or you in theirs. One teaches and the other learns. Eccl 3:1-8 on seasons.

[Trusting Jesus]

I think Christian friendships are different than other kinds. Even if the friends lose contact they never really end the friendship. I have many Christian friends who I don't stay in contact with. But I still consider them friends. Yes, some of them are very leglistic, but I love them and they worry about my salvation because I'm not as legalistic as them! I don't think you should be too upset that your friend has moved out of your life. Just make more friends and move on, too.

<>< ><>

Nathele

[DjZed]

Some people are placed in your life for a season for a special purpose, and when that season is over, the person is no longer in your life on a consistent basis. And...everyone you meet has a purpose in your life or you in theirs. One teaches and the other learns. Eccl 3:1-8 on seasons.

Yes, what anexample said!

[Marnie]

Some people are placed in your life for a season for a special purpose, and when that season is over, the person is no longer in your life on a consistent basis. And...everyone you meet has a purpose in your life or you in theirs. One teaches and the other learns. Eccl 3:1-8 on seasons.

Yes, what anexample said!

Yep, well said. In our lives, people come and people go. Although, to hazard a guess, your pastor friend, who is single, sounds very self centered to me.

[wc4Jc]

We had this pastor once that we really liked, and my wife and I tried to start a friendship with them. we even went to visit, which seemed to be an imposition on them.

At church one day, I asked Bro. Kenny "What's new" and his reply was "Nothing that would concern you." well that's all it took. It was evident that he saw himself better and not worthy of my friendship, so it ended there. I still enjoyed his sermons and was really impressed with what he was trying to do in the church, but as far as friendship....Not!