The aloneness of grieving....

[kat8585]

I agree with Morning Glory and Scarletprayers. People just don't know what to say or do. Your grief is very real and very painful. None of the things you mentioned - drinking, pills, smoking, and cutting - will help one little bit. The only thing to do is get back into life -- find a hobby, volunteer at a senior citizens home, etc. It would be so good if you could read your Bible and go to church. I'm not saying that people at church would react any better than other people, but fellowshipping with sisters and brothers in Christ carries with it some comfort and peace.

Angelique, I will not tell you that "it's time to move one" because that's impossible. You loved your husband very much and the pain is so real. But I urge you to not hold so tight to the pain and the emptyness that you can't reach out to today and the future. Do not feel guilty about moving forward and finding. You are always in my prayers.

<>< ><>

Nathele

This is very true. I've been that way because I didn't know what to say. I didn't think I should talk about the deceased because it would cause more sadness. But I've learned since that people should talk about the deceased to the family. And when I think about it, that's what I would want people to do.

Is this true for you?

[mead]

there is only one word for what is going on with me and that is it sucks. Really, really, really bad. I can't out drink this. I can't take enough pills to make the depth of the pain go away. I can't cut enough. I can't smoke enough. Nothing....... It's a big freaking black hole of emptiness.

When I mixed the liquor with the pills and passed out (then sick for three days) was the only time my mind got off of this. That's not good is it?

[Blien]

You know..... Grieving is the loneliest thing to go through when it's your spouse who has passed. Not only does your whole world freaking crumble to the ground but you suddenly find yourself alone. For me, my family didn't even stay the night of the funeral. They were gone and haven't been back since. I have been alone (other than an occasional visitor) ever since.

I think the worst part of this are those who said "i'll be there for you" then where are they? No where to be found. They don't call or anything. I've tried to call and reach out but nothing. I'm beginning to wonder what is wrong with me. Am I bad? Am I suddenly leprous because my husband died? Am I that hard to talk with?

just grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :emot-hug:

:20:

The day will come that God will wipe every tear from your eyes. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Perhaps you can let your family members know that you want them to be around for a little while. Or your friends ? Forgive them for leaving you if you can.. sometimes we all need reminders of what we should be doing. I hope this helps..

[-Nolongerinwaiting-]

(((((((Angel))))))) As I was sitting here reading your Post tears are running down my face. I don't know the pain of the feeling of your lost but I know your heart is in pain. That is natural and even to be angry.

God does know your heart and I am sure He is standing right by your side and even holding you because that is the Loving Father and Friend that He is. " The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing". The Lord is near and close to the broken. Angel, I don't know what to say but just know that I am here to listen and pray for you.

[OneLight]

[Scarletprayers]

Sweety

[sheya joie]

Here is a passage from the Bible that I really hung on to after my husband died:

Isa 54:4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.

Isa 54:5

For thy Maker is thine husband

; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

Hope that helps.

[Guest ~zoe-girl~]

Would you like to come up to Nashville and stay with me and see sites and get out?

[tammy826]

Angelique my heart is breaking for you sister.Please don't try pills & booze it only makes things worse & I know thats easy to say & I understand your desperation. We all truely love you here! Most importantly God loves you! Although it doesn't feel like it right now your not alone. I'm praying for you sister & please know that altough we have never met I do love you & its not just empty words , I really love you & my heart is breaking for you. If you need me please don't hesitate to get in touch I'll PM you my info. I love you sister! God bless you through this devestating time. Your sister in Christ, Tammy

[~~ angelique ~~]

Would you like to come up to Nashville and stay with me and see sites and get out?

If I could find a dog sitter, I'd so be there.