Do any Christian ladies really save themselves for marriage?

[fromIslam2Christ]

I get ridiculed a lot for this one, especially since I am now in my late 30's. I have always had high standards and never married, usually because of this very issue.

I trust God with whatever His plan is for putting such a strict rule in my heart, but I get angry at self-righteous females, who have made mistakes, and take it personally when they find out what my standards are. Bunch of uppity snobs.

I know that God is the great redeemer and that being a born-again virgin is a real thing, but seriously, are all Christian women who are closer to my age hiding behind that excuse?

I can't help the way I feel. I won't ever settle for used merchandise or any such ignominy to that effect.

Any emotional female who has a problem with that can bite me. "You won't ever have a wife, then" and "That isn't realistic at your age" and "If God forgives her it's as if it never happened" are common excuses that aren't gonna work for me.

Do they really think forgiveness is the same as permission? Do Christian girls really think oral sex doesn't count?

I'm upset about all of this lately. I like classy women who have a sense of dignity and are strong Christian's, not a bunch of worldly posers who go to church after a night of binge drinking and debauchery. I need new friends or something.

Brother, maybe you need to pray for discernment about where those standards you have set for your "future" wife have come from... Because at this rate, and with this approach, I am afraid marriage is not an option for you.

Maybe try to look at yourself, and who you are as a person, and find out what has gone wrong with you all these years, as opposed to putting all the blame on the "used merchandise" who have made "excuses"... the view you hold of women is very problematic... It reminds me of the way many men view women in the part of the world I come from...

Are you without sin? Are you so perfect that you would meet all the standards of a potential husband?

Is there a person from your childhood/past that you are comparing every woman you meet to?? Are you angry at that woman figure in your life and therefore punishing the women you meet?? Anger and resentment are not of God.

I think you need some introspection and some work on yourself. Only after you have worked out critical issues, will you be ready for marriage. I encourage counseling with a therapist or with a pastor.

Also I invite you to study Bible marriages (Abraham and Sarah -- who lacked in faith and laughed --, Jacob and Rachel-- who kept idols in her belongings --, David and Bethsheba, Hosea's marriage, Lot and his wife, Job and his wife) and see for yourself if all "your" standards are being met by any woman (or man for that matter)!!

Marriage is based on daily forgiveness, mutual understanding, compassion, and humility. At least, lasting marriages are. Your post shows that you are NOT ready for that kind of unconditional love/daily forgiveness relationship yet.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8 : Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

That was my piece, but already wiser members like Ladypeartree, Ayinjade, and LadyC, MorningGlory (who by the way are married and have experience) made good points that will help you.

God bless you.

Edited July 27, 2010 by fromIslam2Christ

[Rick-Parker]

Man Big Time, did you open a can of worms! Think man, think.

[kat8585]

What Lady C said is worthy of taking note of! And all the others, too.

What if God sent you a beautiful Christian woman who is a widow? Maybe even one with children?

[wyguy]

Heck, my wife continued to save herself after the marriage!

[Believer1997]

Heck, my wife continued to save herself after the marriage!

:taped: :taped:

[Dak]

I get ridiculed a lot for this one, especially since I am now in my late 30's. I have always had high standards and never married, usually because of this very issue.

I trust God with whatever His plan is for putting such a strict rule in my heart, but I get angry at self-righteous females, who have made mistakes, and take it personally when they find out what my standards are. Bunch of uppity snobs.

I know that God is the great redeemer and that being a born-again virgin is a real thing, but seriously, are all Christian women who are closer to my age hiding behind that excuse?

I can't help the way I feel. I won't ever settle for used merchandise or any such ignominy to that effect.

Any emotional female who has a problem with that can bite me. "You won't ever have a wife, then" and "That isn't realistic at your age" and "If God forgives her it's as if it never happened" are common excuses that aren't gonna work for me.

Do they really think forgiveness is the same as permission? Do Christian girls really think oral sex doesn't count?

I'm upset about all of this lately. I like classy women who have a sense of dignity and are strong Christian's, not a bunch of worldly posers who go to church after a night of binge drinking and debauchery. I need new friends or something.

Of course I want a virgin wife. I myself has never had any sexual relations with a woman.

However, I have already left this matter to God; whoever he gives, I will accept, for I know that she will be his best. I just pray that I will have the strength to accept it if some other men had already come before me....

As some of you already know, I have very high standards in my search for my future wife, and not just about her virginity, but also in her dedication as a Christian. But I also have very high standards on myself. I know that she'll be worth more than gold and rubies, so I strive also to be worth more than gold and rubies.

And one of the things I am still battling right now is my sexual purity. I am a virgin, yes, and I have no intention of engaging in any sexual activity with another person until I am married. But like many men, I too had been enslaved by pornography and masturbation. The hold on me of these addictions have already been greatly lessened through the years, but even to this day, I am still fighting its lingering effects.

So I want a great Christian woman for a wife? Yes. And even though I am doing my very best to become the man that she would want... and surrender to... there is still that longing inside me that she would love me and accept me -- despite my imperfections and weaknesses, and despite the damages that had already done on me of my past sinful life....

[Hunterpoet]

I get ridiculed a lot for this one, especially since I am now in my late 30's. I have always had high standards and never married, usually because of this very issue.

I trust God with whatever His plan is for putting such a strict rule in my heart, but I get angry at self-righteous females, who have made mistakes, and take it personally when they find out what my standards are. Bunch of uppity snobs.

I know that God is the great redeemer and that being a born-again virgin is a real thing, but seriously, are all Christian women who are closer to my age hiding behind that excuse?

I can't help the way I feel. I won't ever settle for used merchandise or any such ignominy to that effect.

Any emotional female who has a problem with that can bite me. "You won't ever have a wife, then" and "That isn't realistic at your age" and "If God forgives her it's as if it never happened" are common excuses that aren't gonna work for me.

Do they really think forgiveness is the same as permission? Do Christian girls really think oral sex doesn't count?

I'm upset about all of this lately. I like classy women who have a sense of dignity and are strong Christian's, not a bunch of worldly posers who go to church after a night of binge drinking and debauchery. I need new friends or something.

Somewhere in the OT I read a story about a man that married his brothers wife because she had become a widow, to keep family name alive etc. I'm just guessing here, but I do not think she was a virgin.

Would you marry a women previously convicted of murder if she were a virgin?

I think you have adopted a personal legalism, based on a tradition created by man. I don't remember ever having read a commandment ...Thou shalt be a virgin on your wedding day...

Now, if you choose to remain chaste for God's Glory, God bless you for your obedience. I pray your example brings the knowledge of God's Word to many people.

But I would ask you to consider the new commandment, where we are told to love our neighbor as He has loved us. As I remember, He was and is, very forgiving.

Now, I'm not trying to get you to lower your standards, but to what benefit is it to belittle those of us who are not as strong as you are.

I think you should feel pity rather than scorn for those poor souls, who in the past were seduced by pleasures of the flesh.

For those that you see in church bearing evidence of a previous night of sin, pray for them, ask God to open their minds and hearts to His Wisdom, that they would have spiritual understanding. Pray that they will repent and seek forgiveness.

God's Grace and Peace be with you,

hunter

[mead]

Man Big Time, did you open a can of worms! Think man, think.

[MorningGlory]

Heck, my wife continued to save herself after the marriage!

Oh.....! Don't go there, Wyguy!

[MorningGlory]

I get ridiculed a lot for this one, especially since I am now in my late 30's. I have always had high standards and never married, usually because of this very issue.

I trust God with whatever His plan is for putting such a strict rule in my heart, but I get angry at self-righteous females, who have made mistakes, and take it personally when they find out what my standards are. Bunch of uppity snobs.

I know that God is the great redeemer and that being a born-again virgin is a real thing, but seriously, are all Christian women who are closer to my age hiding behind that excuse?

I can't help the way I feel. I won't ever settle for used merchandise or any such ignominy to that effect.

Any emotional female who has a problem with that can bite me. "You won't ever have a wife, then" and "That isn't realistic at your age" and "If God forgives her it's as if it never happened" are common excuses that aren't gonna work for me.

Do they really think forgiveness is the same as permission? Do Christian girls really think oral sex doesn't count?

I'm upset about all of this lately. I like classy women who have a sense of dignity and are strong Christian's, not a bunch of worldly posers who go to church after a night of binge drinking and debauchery. I need new friends or something.

Of course I want a virgin wife. I myself has never had any sexual relations with a woman.

However, I have already left this matter to God; whoever he gives, I will accept, for I know that she will be his best. I just pray that I will have the strength to accept it if some other men had already come before me....

As some of you already know, I have very high standards in my search for my future wife, and not just about her virginity, but also in her dedication as a Christian. But I also have very high standards on myself. I know that she'll be worth more than gold and rubies, so I strive also to be worth more than gold and rubies.

And one of the things I am still battling right now is my sexual purity. I am a virgin, yes, and I have no intention of engaging in any sexual activity with another person until I am married. But like many men, I too had been enslaved by pornography and masturbation. The hold on me of these addictions have already been greatly lessened through the years, but even to this day, I am still fighting its lingering effects.

So I want a great Christian woman for a wife? Yes. And even though I am doing my very best to become the man that she would want... and surrender to... there is still that longing inside me that she would love me and accept me -- despite my imperfections and weaknesses, and despite the damages that had already done on me of my past sinful life....

You know, Dakilang, that when you became born again the Lord removed your sins 'as far as the East is from the West'.....in other words you are a new man and God doesn't remember your former self. The woman who marries you will be marrying the man you are NOW.