Divorce -- my impending divorce!

[ayin jade]

You kinda need to fix your blog. I got a bunch of code when I clicked the link.

[ADisciple]

KC,

 

I've also been through divorce (thankfully, it was just as simple as sending him the paperwork to sign and mail off ... no court involvement necessary).

 

I will confess I royally messed up with that first marriage. I was young and wasn't thinking at all. He ruined my credit (from A1 to bankruptcy) in just 5 short months. Among other things, the last straw was finding conversations between him and a girl online ... about how he wanted to be with her etc etc. I considered that cheating on me. I left. Due to factors I won't go into, it was 11 years before I was able to get a divorce. For 10 of those years, I was with another man ... with whom we both considered ourselves married (we are now officially married).

 

Funny thing ... just a few days ago, I got down on my knees and asked God's forgiveness for how I handled my first marriage (from beginning to end). My current husband and I have been through "heck and back" over the now 13 years we have been together ... and we have stayed true, faithful, and supportive of one another. I consider this my first marriage (for the actual first one was a 5 month farce in my book). Although, I think God sees that differently! LOL Hence why I was asking for his forgiveness for my idiocy. =)

 

I didn't mean to hijack your thread, KC ... but just wanted to let you know that you are definitely not alone when it comes to divorce and wanting to please our God.

 

HUGS from a fellow NC-er. =)

[Jessica]

Praying for you.

[KC02]

ADisciple,

 

thanks for your candid conversation about your first marriage -- a true disaster. I have kicked myself a few times for even posting about my marriage. Yeah it's totally humbling and thoroughly embarrassing. Especially for me. Before, I had no empathy for people who were divorced or any idea of the pain it could cause.

 

You didn't "hijack" the thread. You taught me something... thank you. I am too idealistic. One never knows what is around the corner. God bless you. I pray your marriage only grows stronger. FWI- I have already prayed that prayer. As a man, I take 100 percent responsibility for this notwithstanding the facts of the matter. Hey, if nobody else wants to go to heaven, I still want to go!

 

Sheba: thank you. I believe I fixed the blog.

[B3L13v3R]

Praying KC02.

[Guest LadyC]

not ignoring ya KC.... i just hadn't seen this thread til now. of course, when you posted it i was still under the fog of medication from my surgery. in any case, i've been praying for your situation for a long time, and i know you didn't need me to post here to acknowledge it, but since we've been friends for a thousand years (ok, 15, close enough), i couldn't just NOT post here.

 

never give up on God. He is more than able to heal the broken heart, and if He has someone else in mind for you to terrorize old folks homes with, He'll bring her into your life at just the right time!

[Littlelambseativy]

Though I have not bee through anything like a divorce it must Be equivalent to a death except you may still see the one you loved.

Our Father helps us when one dies and He will help you with this, just call on Him and ask Him for support and guidance though friends and family, including church may abandon you - God will be your strength and guide. The shepherd who leads you to the quiet waters to sooth your broken heart and green pastures to refresh you. Just ask Him!

[KC02]

InChrist:

 

I think your position is a high ideal about redeeming a spouse from sin. I did, in fact, try this the last time with the condition that it [cheating] would never happen again. It was very hard afterward; I'm not certain we ever felt the same way towards each other again, but we were giving it a go.

 

I wanted to take a second here to tell any married person that is contemplating a fling to forget it. It will destroy your marriage and your family.

 

Like Butero pointed out, this high ideal is not always practical. Maybe feasible and prudent are better words. A cheater is going to cheat the same way an alcoholic is going to drink. There should be no surprise when it happens again.

 

My personal definition of fornication is when one simply can't deal with a cheating spouse any longer as opposed to simple adultery. I don't take marriage, vows, or divorce lightly. I've done everything I can. The key is to know when it is over and beyond repair.

 

I am moving on. I pray that you never get closer to the issue than just a theological position. Until you are here, you can never completely see the big picture. I hope you never see the big picture, but nonetheless develop some empathy for those facing such life-changing events without contempt or negative presuppositions.

[Spock]

KC,

I have not been divorced, but I was a divorce lawyer for about ten years. I assume your wife is also a believer, but just went wayward on this one. Almost all of my clients were believers who were being divorced by other believers and like your case, one party was always deeply grieved it turned out this way. So, you are definitely not alone. The spirit of the world is very strong: the lust of the flesh and of the eyes, even to believers, is a hard force to say no to.

I feel for you bro.

Having said that, may I share a personal thought here that may or may not help you. You decide that.

If my wife did choose to leave me believing the grass was greener on the other side, yes, it would sting, but only for a while. I think I would recover quickly because I really don't want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to me and doesn't have mad love for me as I for her.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this- being alone in a home may be better than being unloved in a home, and who knows? Maybe God has someone out there who REALLY does have mad love for you and is praying right now as we speak for you to come in her path. Like I said, this may not help you because I know I do not think like everyone else, but maybe it will.

Anyhow, as you can see by this thread, many here share your burden and sadness. Be strong in His power, not yours, my brother.

Spock out

[GoldenEagle]

never give up on God. He is more than able to heal the broken heart, and if He has someone else in mind for you to terrorize old folks homes with, He'll bring her into your life at just the right time!

Amen!