dealing with toxic family members

[NostalgiaGuy]

So far I have a problem with toxic family members. I can't nail out all of them but they are out to destroy my life. Their strongest weapon is slander. Last thanksgivng weekend was the brunt of their toxicity. I prayed, for them and even talked to them but still get passive-aggressive behavior. They even mocked me for strengthening my spiritual relationship after being attacked. They are too connected to my neighbors(which we don't talk to) and most likely tell what go on in our household.

 

It's just me and my parents living in this house. I'm the main target. I can definitely say my nephew who my mother loves is one main slanderer. He has found power in these threats and feels powerful doing this to me. Problem is my mother doesn't have the skill to see passive aggressive behavior so I come across as paranoid and left to deal with these people myself. I keep prayer up because I seen it successful and continue to have them in them as well. I don't hate my family but want to have some peace.

[OneLight]

Though this is your first thread, I will move it to looking for advice, since I believe you can get some solid advice from the members.

 

Please take the time to introduce yourself in the Welcome Forum while waiting for help.

[other one]

I have not had the trouble with family on the scale you seem to be dealing with, but I have a work....   personally i found the best way to deal with it is just ignore them....   if they want to rant just let them and carry on.  If you respond in any way it's what feeds them to do more.

[missmuffet]

First pray for them and then do not have contact with the members that are causing you grief.There is enough grief in this world without that.You are not a doormat.

[Littlelambseativy]

One can easily say, "Sticks and stones," but words do hurt..especially from loved ones. Pray for those who hurt you but do not speak in the same manner to them. Speak kindly words. It will upset them or only anger them but you silently give God thanks for giving you the grace to bear up under the assault. Pray for them but I would let" butter melt in your mouth" don't respond in kind. It fuels the fire. In all things give God thanks.

[NostalgiaGuy]

First pray for them and then do not have contact with the members that are causing you grief.There is enough grief in this world without that.You are not a doormat.

The house is my mothers' and she makes it open to any member who wants to visit. I tried to make limitations but was not successful. 

[NostalgiaGuy]

Though this is your first thread, I will move it to looking for advice, since I believe you can get some solid advice from the members.

 

Please take the time to introduce yourself in the Welcome Forum while waiting for help.

Thank you.

[appy]

 

So far I have a problem with toxic family members. I can't nail out all of them but they are out to destroy my life. Their strongest weapon is slander. Last thanksgivng weekend was the brunt of their toxicity. I prayed, for them and even talked to them but still get passive-aggressive behavior. They even mocked me for strengthening my spiritual relationship after being attacked. They are too connected to my neighbors(which we don't talk to) and most likely tell what go on in our household.

 

It's just me and my parents living in this house. I'm the main target. I can definitely say my nephew who my mother loves is one main slanderer. He has found power in these threats and feels powerful doing this to me. Problem is my mother doesn't have the skill to see passive aggressive behavior so I come across as paranoid and left to deal with these people myself. I keep prayer up because I seen it successful and continue to have them in them as well. I don't hate my family but want to have some peace.

 

I may be over reading into a sentence in your post but I must say that sharing certain things about your personal walk with Christ should not be done and is best kept to yourself. Telling others how strong you are spiritually comes across as “holier than thou” and is extremely irritating and insulting. Or pointing out a sinful action in another person and then saying something along the lines of . . . “you need prayer! I'll be praying for you!”

 

These are such statements and or actions that no believer or unbeliever needs and is insulting no matter how well intentioned or passively said. These things are interpreted as personal attacks and the hearer of such will respond by mocking or gossiping about the speaker who said it in retaliation.

 

The best you can do when you are mocked or gossiped about, is to let the statements roll off of your shoulders and go about your business. To try to defend yourself or engage in any kind of verbal altercation regarding mocking or gossip, will only put more fuel on the fire. And above all else don't copy or return the favor! Let it go and move on.

 

If you are really bothered by it, go somewhere private , preferably in a quiet room to yourself away from others and then pour out your heart to God about the situation and ask him to give you the wisdom to handle the situation in a tactful and Godly manner that will be a blessing to all involved.

[NostalgiaGuy]

Thank you appy. I never really looked at my actions as showing off, because they're definitely mocking me in various ways when I become present(they hold their hands up and sarcastically call to god).

I go other places and try to get my piece and focus but my mother is confused to why I rather be alone. I don't think she can understand even through great efforts trying to talk to her. I feel it's almost pointless. She loves the family too much to see anyone as toxic as they actually are. I might get a break Christmas and go to the theater alone.

[alien224]

Praying.