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[creativemechanic]

Creative,Its sad that your beautiful heart ,and your willingness to follow GODS word

has been used,

The wise worthy members ,who have replied, have given you the answers you need,I believe.

I hope your mum,will forgive those who have used you,I'm a mum too and I have been hurt

When my children have been used

Will be praying for you both,

GOD bless you both

How/d my mother get into this?

[BFP]

This post was so timely for me.  I have a daughter who does this...expects me to run for her every bidding, support her, help her...and at the end of the day she plays games with my feelings and calls me judgemental if I don't completely agree with what she is doing.  Yesterday I finally drew the line. 

Sometimes you just have to let people lie in the bed they have made for themselves for a while and let THEM decide to better themselves, and help themselves.  You can only help those who do not help themselves for so long, and then it is called enabling.

If you are doing things for others that in your heart do not feel right, perhaps that is God speaking to your heart and telling you that it is not what He expects you to do.  He will lead you to those who truly need your help I think.  Don't stop being a helper just because a few have hardened your heart.

[Ezra]

Where do you draw the line between being helpful and going the extra mile as jesus commands and being used?

Ask the Lord for wisdom and discernment (Jas 1:5-8) so that you can discern the ones who have genuine needs (1 Jn 3:16-18) and those who are simply manipulators (2 Tim 3:2-5).  We are to help the ones with genuine needs.  But Paul tells us to turn away from those who are "unthankful" and "despisers of those that are good".

 

There is no question that there are many manipulators in the world.  If you are willing to sit down with them and tell them their fault and show them a way out, then that is another option (Jas 5:19,20).

 

We see from the Lord's example that He would not allow manipulators to manipulate Him (Mt 12:38-40; 16:1-4).  But it can be done tactfully and diplomatically (Mt 20:20-23).

[gamnot]

The kinds of behavior that we are talking about on this thread is exactly the characteristics of narcissism. A sense of entitlement ... bad boundaries  ..... exploitation, along other characteristics that might not be as obvious: shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, and envy. ............... I think that most people have problems dealing with these types of people. We live in a culture of narcissism and in my opinion it is getting worst.

[Indent]

Interesting, I think you've just had a poor experience. 

 

I've helped a lot of people, but I also knew where to 'draw the line'. I'm direct and honest with people, so I have no issues saying no and/or giving people a piece of my mind. If someone is out to manipulate and coerce action from you, it's probably a good indicator that is an unhealthy relationship. 

[Keith]

You've been given a lot of good advice in this thread, creativemechanic.  Any thoughts on any of it?

[petula]

Sorry if I offended you creative,parents,spouses, friends,the people who love you are hurt, when you are used.

I am a mum,and I misspoke, l guess your post ,hit a nerve.

Continued prayers for You.

God bless you

[Guest]

The kinds of behavior that we are talking about on this thread is exactly the characteristics of narcissism....

A sense of entitlement ... bad boundaries  ..... exploitation, along other characteristics that might not be as obvious....

shamelessness, magical thinking.... 

arrogance, and.... 

envy....

 

I think that most people have problems dealing with these types of people....

We live in a culture of narcissism....

and in my opinion it is....

getting worst....

 

 

Beloved, Amen

 

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit,

after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world,

and not after Christ. Colossians 2:8

 

The Trouble With Psychology And It's Many Masters Of The Insult

 

For all have sinned, 

and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23

 

Is That It (And They) Have Totally Missed The Point

 

For the wages of sin is death;

but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23

 

And Therefore, More Often Than Not

 

The people which sat in darkness saw great light;

and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up. Matthew 4:16

 

They Are Left With No Hope

 

And they said, There is no hope: but we will walk after our own devices,

and we will every one do the imagination

of his evil heart. Jeremiah 18:12

 

With No Healing

 

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor;

he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, 

and recovering of sight to the blind,

to set at liberty them 

that are bruised, Luke 4:18

 

And

 

Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life:

he that believeth in me, though he were dead,

yet shall he live:

 

And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.

Believest thou this? John 11:25-26

 

With No Salvation

 

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,

that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,

but have everlasting life. John 3:16

 

~

 

Now Just How Pride-Filled (Narcissistic)

 

How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!

how art thou cut down to the ground,

which didst weaken the nations!

 

For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: 

I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation,

in the sides of the north:

 

I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; 

I will be like the most High. Isaiah 14:12-14

 

Is That

 

Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell,

to the sides of the pit. Isaiah 14:15

 

~

 

Be Blessed Beloved Of The KING

 

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith,

quit you like men,

be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

 

Love, Your Brother Joe

[Pro1728]

Remember that God wants to use us to meet each other's NEEDS, not each other's WANTS. Perhaps it would be helpful to keep a diagram of the "hierarchy of needs" folded in your back pocket. Then when some of these manipulaters ask you for something you can whip it out and give a thoughtful look. "Hmm...so where exactly would this fit in the 'needs' categories? I don't see 'presents' anywhere on this..."

[creativemechanic]

Sorry if I offended you creative,parents,spouses, friends,the people who love you are hurt, when you are used.

I am a mum,and I misspoke, l guess your post ,hit a nerve.

Continued prayers for You.

God bless you

Im not offended. I was just curiosu as to how she got included as i never made reference to it