NARCISSISM

[Godlovesme]

I went so long without a hug forgot what it felt like, then I developed a fear of reaching out first. But I'm the narcissistic one ugh I live with someone who's has zero compassion, someone who thought if you made comments how fat and etc you are wouldn't effect the self esteem, well it did severely I might add ,can't even tell you where is or up to   you just get to wait til he decides to come home.... He is a Christian to everyone online even compassionate but I get a bit confused how that works in a marriage.

[missmuffet]

14 minutes ago, Cobalt1959 said:

Since you've never been with a narcissist, you don't know how they operate.  They are chameleons.  They appear to you as one thing, but that is not who they are.  What they turn into later, when they move into the devalue phase, is not who they were when they were love-bombing you and telling you that they can't live without you, that you are soulmates and basically the greatest thing since sliced bread.  But later on, when the honeymoon is over, there are suddenly many, many problems with the relationship, and you, that were not there in the beginning, but they are all your fault.  But your Cluster B is so needy, and broken (every relationship they've ever had failed and it was the other person's fault) and helpless, that you work all the harder to fix problems that actually are not there and you can't fix anyway.  You become co-dependent over time, even though you do not want to, and don't realize you are becoming co-dependent because you just know you are the one partner she's had that will be different.  That will be special.  That will be able to fix this poor helpless dove with a broken wing.  Not so much.

I don't know about you, but I take my relationships seriously.  When I love someone, I don't just throw my hands up and say "I'm done!!"  When you enter into a relationship with someone, you take on a responsibility and you are not supposed to just toss it at the first sign of trouble.  I hang in there until I know for sure that the bridge is out and I can't cross it.

Amen to that

[Steve_S]

Luke1992 has been banned from this topic and issued a warning point.

[Guest Robert]

11 hours ago, Cobalt1959 said:

That's a better way to put it.  if BOTH of you put each other above yourselves, your needs are going to be met and you will have a healthy, loving "normal" relationship.

Amen.