Falling away and returning to the faith

[Jenny101]

Beware of huge wall of text.

I was saved when i was 14 years old. For a whole year, i followed God wholeheartedly. I was made new in Christ. I loved Jesus so much, i strived to be as perfect as i could. I was all about God. 

Well, about a year later, something in me changed. The nagging of the world pulled and clawed at me.. being a 15 year old little girl, i wanted nothing else but to be like everyone else. I wanted to just fit in. (I had a lot else going on in my life that made me feel such things). So, i gave in to temptation. I decided to drop the faith and turn into everyone else. Well, 5 years later, now 20 years old, i find myself in need of Him.

I've been struggling internally with life. Everything is hitting me in the face and i am now faced with the realities and responsibilities of being an adult. I must say, i thought i was going to be 15 forever. I am not ready to move so quickly into this new way of living. Anyway, back to the point. About a week ago, i was so desperate that i knew i needed God. I knew if i just came back to him, i would have peace in my soul about my life. But.. alas, after repentance and admitting my all, i feel nothing. It's nearly impossible for me to focus on the bible. I just can't get interested. Nothing is new to me, my eyes arent opening to anything new. I dont feel my spirit growing and even though i try to pray everyday and feed my spirit what i can, like through watching teachings on Youtube from Paul Washer for example, i dont feel any closer to God. I get easily distracted with the world and i dont know.. i just dont feel that different. I dont have that same fever, if you will, for God. The fire is just dead. 

I feel so lost. I feel like God spewed me out of his mouth and wants nothing to do with me.. or like.. cant help me anymore because thats just what he feels like, hes done with me. I need him so badly though.. even though im not totally ready to give up my old life, i know i need him and i know i have to let all of this go. Its just difficult to change out of the blue like this. Its almost like a shock, its still sinking in. But  i want to change for Him. I want to have the relationship we used to have.. but i am so dead inside. I just dont know whats going on anymore...

Edited August 20, 2016 by Jenny101

[ScarletStormBreaker]

Hi, I might be able to help you out. However, I don't think here is the best place to discuss things so if you would like, feel free to email me at scarletstormbreaker@gmail.com

[da_man1974]

I have foind when i feel this way a need to keep on keepin on. God is pulling at your heart but you need to fully go after him too.  I have struggled with being lukewarm. Wheni fulky choose to search god he becomes very real.  Not sure why i dont just stay there. 

[BK1110]

On 8/19/2016 at 8:17 PM, Jenny101 said:

I feel so lost. I feel like God spewed me out of his mouth and wants nothing to do with me.. or like.. cant help me anymore because thats just what he feels like, hes done with me. I need him so badly though.. even though im not totally ready to give up my old life, i know i need him and i know i have to let all of this go. Its just difficult to change out of the blue like this. Its almost like a shock, its still sinking in. But  i want to change for Him. I want to have the relationship we used to have.. but i am so dead inside. I just dont know whats going on anymore...

I think a lot of people who grow up in Christian homes with relatively worry-free lives end up this way. It's easy to be lukewarm about it when it's just something that's kind of been with you for all your life. It's routine. It's comfortable. I went to church all my life, dad being a very serious Christian, reading the Bible to us and praying with us daily for all of our childhoods, church and Sunday school every Sunday, Christian music, Christian movies, and on and on. I'm 29 now and it's only been pretty recently that I really realized I probably wasn't saved for so many years, just going through motions, etc.

What you said in that quote is the key, I think. You need Him, but you're not ready to give up your old life. You're not prepared to sacrifice anything for Him or really live for Him. You want Him to help and comfort you and then leave you alone to live as you want. And I'm sure I'm not telling you anything new when I say it can't be that way. To truly be saved is to give yourself over to Him; He's in the driver's seat, so to speak. You must be willing to clean yourself out. Are you willing to suffer for Him? To speak His word and His truth to others, knowing there will be rejection? To lose friends and respect? If not, then I'm sure you know, you're not putting Him first. You're telling him that other human's opinions of you are more important than His opinion for you, and for the way in which He wants to use you to affect other's positively.

Pray every day that he would impress on your heart ways you need to change, areas you need to make right. No one changes overnight, but you must start, and be willing. Ask him to take away your idolatry and the love of the world and replace it with a love for Him and His will. God bless, Jenny!

[Behold]

On 8/19/2016 at 8:17 PM, Jenny101 said:

I want to have the relationship we used to have.. but i am so dead inside. I just dont know whats going on anymore...

If you are hoping to again feel the "oneness" with God that you once felt, then let me tell you exaclty how to do it.

Today and Tomorrow and for the rest of your life, attempt to do one simple thing...= Always Try to make God happy.

Always TRY to make God happy.....= let this be your mindset =  and you will find all the Joy you want to have again with God.

Its really that simple, J101.

Start right now..., and you'll find that what you are searching for, will happen for you.

See, if you will consistently <>TRY<> to make God happy, then all the things that are not making Him happy that are bringing you down and causing you misery, will leave your life.

Its really that simple, J101.

Start NOW:)

 

God bless,

 

<B><

 

Edited August 23, 2016 by Behold

[HAZARD]

On ‎20‎/‎08‎/‎2016 at 11:17 AM, Jenny101 said:

Beware of huge wall of text.

I was saved when i was 14 years old. For a whole year, i followed God wholeheartedly. I was made new in Christ. I loved Jesus so much, i strived to be as perfect as i could. I was all about God. 

Well, about a year later, something in me changed. The nagging of the world pulled and clawed at me.. being a 15 year old little girl, i wanted nothing else but to be like everyone else. I wanted to just fit in. (I had a lot else going on in my life that made me feel such things). So, i gave in to temptation. I decided to drop the faith and turn into everyone else. Well, 5 years later, now 20 years old, i find myself in need of Him.

I've been struggling internally with life. Everything is hitting me in the face and i am now faced with the realities and responsibilities of being an adult. I must say, i thought i was going to be 15 forever. I am not ready to move so quickly into this new way of living. Anyway, back to the point. About a week ago, i was so desperate that i knew i needed God. I knew if i just came back to him, i would have peace in my soul about my life. But.. alas, after repentance and admitting my all, i feel nothing. It's nearly impossible for me to focus on the bible. I just can't get interested. Nothing is new to me, my eyes arent opening to anything new. I dont feel my spirit growing and even though i try to pray everyday and feed my spirit what i can, like through watching teachings on Youtube from Paul Washer for example, i dont feel any closer to God. I get easily distracted with the world and i dont know.. i just dont feel that different. I dont have that same fever, if you will, for God. The fire is just dead. 

I feel so lost. I feel like God spewed me out of his mouth and wants nothing to do with me.. or like.. cant help me anymore because thats just what he feels like, hes done with me. I need him so badly though.. even though im not totally ready to give up my old life, i know i need him and i know i have to let all of this go. Its just difficult to change out of the blue like this. Its almost like a shock, its still sinking in. But  i want to change for Him. I want to have the relationship we used to have.. but i am so dead inside. I just dont know whats going on anymore...

Hi Jenny 101.

Did you know the apostle Peter was a backslider?

Peter was a back slider.

Matt. 26:58; "But Peter followed him afar off unto the high priest's palace, and went in, and sat with the servants, to see the end."

1. In verse 33; Pr. 16:18, he boasted.
2. Made Christ a lier (v 33-35)
3. Slept instead of praying (v 40)
4. Failed to moritify the flesh (v 41)
5. Relied on the arm of flesh (v 51)
6. Forsook Christ and fled (v 56)
7. Followed afar off (v 58)
8. Sat with the Lords enemies (v 58)
9. Gave up hope-discouraged (v 58)
10. became afraid of men (v 69-74)
11. Lied (v 69-74)
12 Cursed (v 69-74)
Jesus had predicted his backsliding and re-conversion (Luke 22:31-34). Peter repented and was forgiven as we all are upon repentance.

[kwikphilly]

Blessings Jenny

I am so glad you are here,once upon a time you called upon Jesus, you may have been distracted & even "walked away"but He has always been there with you...just because we stumble, yield to the lures of temptation & no longer hear His Still Small Voice does not mean we are alone,not a Christian & are dead inside ...the heart heardens Jenny,our ears are hard of hearing, eyesight has dimmed....not deaf or blind....the heart can soften.....Jesus is ready whenever you are to start anew & pick up where you left off

 The best part of being alive is that today, right now,this very moment is the beginning of the rest of our life,YES-today is the 1st day of the rest of your life!

     Stop looking to "feel"something & start trusting God,His Word....you cannot have a Relationship without ever listening to what someone has to say,begin reading the Bible,as Holy Spirit to Reveal to you Gods Truth....which is Jesus.the Way the Truth & The Life....you say you "were"a Christian & if that is true then Holy Spirit indwells,Jesus does not vacate when we transgress,He told us He never leaves or forsakes us,,,,,ask Him to soften your heart once again,  to open your eyes & ears.    With love-in Christ,Kwik

[Willa]

Like you, I backslid for many years when my husband would not allow me to go to church.  I thought I could be a believer alone, but I couldn't.  We need the encouragement of others and mentoring.  When I came back to God, I knew I was lost and could not live the Christian life.  I could not love the unlovable hateful people who had ridiculed me for my faith.  God was teaching me that Christ lived in me, and only He could love those people.  I had to let Him love them through me.  

You can't leave your sinful lifestyle by yourself either.  Only Christ in you can do it.  He is changing your desires so you hate it but continue to do it.  Paul described this in Romans 7.  Read the whole chapter. The solution is in Chapter 8.   Ask God to make you willing to leave  your worldly lifestyle behind.   We have 2 commandments: to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul and mind, and our neighbor as ourselves.  

Mat 22:37  Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’   22:38  This is the first and great commandment. 22:39  A second likewise is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

1Jn 2:15  Don’t love the world or the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the Father’s love isn’t in him.  2:16  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, isn’t the Father’s, but is the world’s.  2:17  The world is passing away with its lusts, but he who does God’s will remains forever.

Again, confess to God that you can't live the Christian life without His help and power.  You are headed for hell without His unmerited favor and help.  Ask Him to fill you again with His Holy Spirit.  Then turn one problem area at a time over to Him and do what His Word says to do about it, trusting Him to give you the power to follow Christ and to love with His Holy love and forgive as He forgave.  Surrender all your life to God.  The Christian life is more about doing what the Holy Spirit inspires you to do than about not doing.

The feelings will come after your surrender to God. 

 Gal 5:16  But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you won’t fulfill the lust of the flesh.  17  For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, that you may not do the things that you desire. 18  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.  :19  Now the deeds of the flesh are obvious, which are: adultery, sexual immorality, uncleanness, lustfulness, 20  idolatry, sorcery, hatred, strife, jealousies, outbursts of anger, rivalries, divisions, heresies,  21  envy, murders, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these; of which I forewarn you, even as I also forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit God’s Kingdom.

Gal 5:22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith  23  gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  24  Those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and lusts.  25  If we live by the Spirit, let’s also walk by the Spirit.

 

[turquoise]

In the movie "God's Not Dead 2", the school teacher who is on trial complains that she prays fervently but it seems that God is no longer present. Her grandfather tells her that she should know that the teacher is always quiet while the students are taking a test. Maybe God is giving you an opportunity to show that you are patient?

[abram]

Read Hebrews chapter 6