How do I remove the desire for a significant other?

[Sailingsoul]

I have the urge and desire to be married ..in the same way I have the urge and desire to have friends...but... I feel I'm destined to be alone.

I dont know how to explain it but I feel ill be alone. I just dont understand why id have the desire to be married and share myself with someone...as well as have the desire to have friends when I dont get the opportunity to have any. ( I've tried)

 

one interesting thing that was said, was that you have no idea if those desires ( for friends and husband ) is from God...

 

However, I feel not having these desires will make me less then human...kind of robotic. Its human to feel.. And it would turn me into a lone hermit.

 

His word says he didnt call us to be alone...but that's where I'm headed to... I just wonder if maybe that's his will for me ...to just be by myself. I dont know ( and foe those who ask, yes I've volunteered at pantries and things like that... I'm gonna try and get back into it)

 

what do you guys think?

Edited October 31, 2016 by Sailingsoul

[ravindran]

28 minutes ago, Sailingsoul said:

I have the urge and desire to be married ..in the same way I have the urge and desire to have friends...but... I feel I'm destined to be alone.

I dont know how to explain it but I feel ill be alone. I just dont understand why id have the desire to be married and share myself with someone...as well as have the desire to have friends when I dont get the opportunity to have any. ( I've tried)

 

one interesting thing that was said, was that you have no idea if those desires ( for friends and husband ) is from God...

 

However, I feel not having these desires will make me less then human...kind of robotic. Its human to feel.. And it would turn me into a lone hermit.

 

His word says he didnt call us to be alone...but that's where I'm headed to... I just wonder if maybe that's his will for me ...to just be by myself. I dont know ( and foe those who ask, yes I've volunteered at pantries and things like that... I'm gonna try and get back into it)

 

what do you guys think?

Hello! I think Paul talks about this topic a lot in 1 Corinthians 7. This is what he wrote,

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Paul is saying, it is better to marry than to burn with passion. God does not call someone to be single and let them burn with passion. And it is important to understand if God is calling someone to be single. It is just like knowing God's will in any other aspect of our life. It can be found only through prayers and a very close relationship with God. When we completely surrender us to Him and are listening to His voice (through Word of God)

Staying single has advantages and Paul talks about that. At the same time, Paul is not saying everyone should try to stay single. It is better to marry than to burn with passion!!

[Wayne222]

You and everyone  was created to desire a mate. Does not always happen. Corrie ten Boom was single her whole life. She did have a love for someone when she was young but he married  someone else. Know this when Jesus returns all who are married will be like they were never married.  You will have greater joy and fulfillment at that time then the married  state. And God knows how you feel. Maybe he will bring you to the right man soon. But to marry the wrong person is worse then being married.  I find being with christ and Father God to fill me with such joy. That being single is ok. I feel like i am in heaven already because there love is so good .It almost hurts because its so intense. He makes his home inside of us. He dwells there. So the unmarried  person can be more devoted to God and to Lord Jesus. Its better to me. But a mate can be good too. Pray and pray and wait on God.

[missmuffet]

4 hours ago, Sailingsoul said:

I have the urge and desire to be married ..in the same way I have the urge and desire to have friends...but... I feel I'm destined to be alone.

I dont know how to explain it but I feel ill be alone. I just dont understand why id have the desire to be married and share myself with someone...as well as have the desire to have friends when I dont get the opportunity to have any. ( I've tried)

 

one interesting thing that was said, was that you have no idea if those desires ( for friends and husband ) is from God...

 

However, I feel not having these desires will make me less then human...kind of robotic. Its human to feel.. And it would turn me into a lone hermit.

 

His word says he didnt call us to be alone...but that's where I'm headed to... I just wonder if maybe that's his will for me ...to just be by myself. I dont know ( and foe those who ask, yes I've volunteered at pantries and things like that... I'm gonna try and get back into it)

 

what do you guys think?

You are a believer in Jesus Christ? You are a Christian? Why don't you put your desires in the hands of Christ? There is nothing wrong with not being married. There are many who choose not to get married. But we need to be on the same page as God wants us to be. To do His will for our life. If He wants you with someone it will be very obvious and she will knock you off your feet. Otherwise stay single. There is no sin in not wanting to be married.As long as you do not sin in this decision.

[Ezra]

6 hours ago, Sailingsoul said:

I have the urge and desire to be married ..in the same way I have the urge and desire to have friends...but... I feel I'm destined to be alone.

So what you do is get a clear understanding from Scripture that marriage is honorable in ALL, therefore your idea about "destined to be alone" should be discarded.  No human beings are destined to be alone, and that is why God created Eve for Adam.

You will now need to develop the qualities and abilities which will enable you to interact with others and eventually with your potential spouse.  It looks like you want the easy way out.

[enoob57]

One must first be filled with God... then they will be so attractive to the ones around them that choice will ensue to be married or not but as for friends we are by the very nature of new birth in The Holy Spirit to be to all men that!  Love, Steven

[Guest BacKaran]

Here's my experience...

I asked a guy for a date, a build move in the early 80s, the ladies I worked with didn't like it at all. I says all he can say is no, he's got a girlfriend or he's married or gay, I can deal with a no.

Wekl we hit it ought and we're married to his death suddenly in 2010.

My desire to have another husband had been quenched by God until such time He puts another great man in my life?

Focus on God and He will meet all your needs?

[Churchmouse]

10 hours ago, Sailingsoul said:

I have the urge and desire to be married ..in the same way I have the urge and desire to have friends...but... I feel I'm destined to be alone.

I dont know how to explain it but I feel ill be alone. I just dont understand why id have the desire to be married and share myself with someone...as well as have the desire to have friends when I dont get the opportunity to have any. ( I've tried)

 

one interesting thing that was said, was that you have no idea if those desires ( for friends and husband ) is from God...

 

However, I feel not having these desires will make me less then human...kind of robotic. Its human to feel.. And it would turn me into a lone hermit.

 

His word says he didnt call us to be alone...but that's where I'm headed to... I just wonder if maybe that's his will for me ...to just be by myself. I dont know ( and foe those who ask, yes I've volunteered at pantries and things like that... I'm gonna try and get back into it)

 

what do you guys think?

First of all, you thinking is all centered on you. 

The idea of sharing yourself is a negative one since when you share, you partition and that leaves less for yourself. That diminishes who you are and that's not what happens in a relationship.

You don't share either one of yourselves. You share the experience of understanding one another and you share the experiences that life grants you as you both walk through it.

 

You say you've tried to get friends. Have you tried to be a friend to yourself?  Have you tried to support your own ambitions by being positive with yourself and coaxing you into creating a better you or have you made up your mind that only other people can help you be a better you.

 

The main thing about any relationship is having something positive to bring to the table and you really need to love yourself enough to make those traits you do possess manifest.

[Sailingsoul]

43 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

First of all, you thinking is all centered on you. 

The idea of sharing yourself is a negative one since when you share, you partition and that leaves less for yourself. That diminishes who you are and that's not what happens in a relationship.

You don't share either one of yourselves. You share the experience of understanding one another and you share the experiences that life grants you as you both walk through it.

 

You say you've tried to get friends. Have you tried to be a friend to yourself?  Have you tried to support your own ambitions by being positive with yourself and coaxing you into creating a better you or have you made up your mind that only other people can help you be a better you.

 

The main thing about any relationship is having something positive to bring to the table and you really need to love yourself enough to make those traits you do possess manifest.

how is it selfish to love another person?

[Sailingsoul]

44 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

First of all, you thinking is all centered on you. 

The idea of sharing yourself is a negative one since when you share, you partition and that leaves less for yourself. That diminishes who you are and that's not what happens in a relationship.

You don't share either one of yourselves. You share the experience of understanding one another and you share the experiences that life grants you as you both walk through it.

 

You say you've tried to get friends. Have you tried to be a friend to yourself?  Have you tried to support your own ambitions by being positive with yourself and coaxing you into creating a better you or have you made up your mind that only other people can help you be a better you.

 

The main thing about any relationship is having something positive to bring to the table and you really need to love yourself enough to make those traits you do possess manifest.

also, i do have friends( though i only text them) i make sure they feel loved and theyve told me they appreciate me.