Steve_K Posted June 28, 2017 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 7 Topic Count: 51 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 220 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 215 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/04/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted June 28, 2017 As many of you know, I'm in a nursing home for extended rehab. I am finally seeing daylight, as I have a discharge date of August 1st. But here's the kicker - the only thing I can afford to do when going home is move back in with my mom and brother. My brother is completely self centered and doesn't want his "life disrupted" by me needing occasional help. My mom is also being discouraging and negative. Its frustrating to say the least. My mom and brother insist on deciding for me on what will happen, which is ridiculous. When I get home, I will have home health and other services, so its not like my family will be that burdened. Besides, I'm able to do allot on my own. I've been working with the staff here to achieve as much independence as I can. Its possible I can make other living arrangements, but I'm not sure I can afford it. Any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FresnoJoe Posted June 28, 2017 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 207 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 8,651 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 5,761 Days Won: 4 Joined: 01/31/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/04/1943 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Praying~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK1110 Posted June 29, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 22 Topic Count: 87 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 6,874 Content Per Day: 2.42 Reputation: 9,614 Days Won: 4 Joined: 07/18/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/10/1986 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Praying for you! I suppose they're not Christians? The Bible is pretty clear on what it thinks of those who don't care for their parents/family members. Have you tried sitting down with them and just simply discussing it at length? Do you have a local church body that can help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn C Posted June 29, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 30 Topic Count: 267 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 13,207 Content Per Day: 3.49 Reputation: 8,497 Days Won: 12 Joined: 12/21/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/06/1947 Share Posted June 29, 2017 9 hours ago, Steve_ said: As many of you know, I'm in a nursing home for extended rehab. I am finally seeing daylight, as I have a discharge date of August 1st. But here's the kicker - the only thing I can afford to do when going home is move back in with my mom and brother. My brother is completely self centered and doesn't want his "life disrupted" by me needing occasional help. My mom is also being discouraging and negative. Its frustrating to say the least. My mom and brother insist on deciding for me on what will happen, which is ridiculous. When I get home, I will have home health and other services, so its not like my family will be that burdened. Besides, I'm able to do allot on my own. I've been working with the staff here to achieve as much independence as I can. Its possible I can make other living arrangements, but I'm not sure I can afford it. Any suggestions? Hi Steve, I sympathize with you, however it is good that help is available. Not pleasant being invalid or getting older. Now as to your brother and mother I think they need their fears allayed, as all they can see is disruption and them having to do more work etc. They need to understand that you will not burden them and will not expect them to wait on you etc. Communication that is clear will help smooth the way considerably bro. regards, Marilyn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1to3 Posted June 29, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 139 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 4,229 Content Per Day: 1.23 Reputation: 3,076 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/28/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted June 29, 2017 Hi Steve, On the positive note, you're getting better enough to be discharged . About your family situation with your mother and brother? Well it could have been the same in any other family dynamics like spouse and children. Dis function in families has many dynamic forms Not in many families does it run all so smoothly even in Christians ones as everybody is on their own personal spiritual growth curve. Living in assisted living also has its drawbacks. And living alone, while you will perhaps find more peace and tranquility (maybe not, you may get some problematic neighbors) there is going to be the issue of accepting a new lifestyle that living alone can entail. This needs to be thought through carefully But if your current living situation with your mother and brother is negative 24/7, then perhaps looking and planning for other accommodations may be the best and more peaceful solution for all concerned. Also living alone, you will most likely discover parts of yourself you were not fully aware of. it can also bring you closer to God as you may have more time to reflect . The thing to remember is that leaving a living situation that you have been so used to, even if it is for the better, may take some adjustments. The best thing to do is pray about it to the Lord, ask Him for guidance. He will respond to your heart as to what is best for you to do. Sometimes circumstances beyond our say or control, make for us to change our living situation. Like a sudden death in the family. It is always good to keep a realistic perspective. Is making a change in where you live a better thing to do now? or would it be better for you if you wait for circumstances beyond, to force you make to make a change? These need to be brought to the Lord in prayer and wait on Him to answer your heart. Remember always:Romans 8:28King James Version (KJV) 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Philippians 4:6 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted June 29, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted June 29, 2017 praying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted June 29, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.23 Reputation: 9,762 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted June 29, 2017 Hi Steve ... hope you don't mind that I moved your thread to where you can get only Christian advice. As for your situation, I am sure you have coordinators that can help you decide what will be best for you, and since you have a couple of months to do so, I suggest you start now. I am not sure where you live, but there usually is some help for people on limited income that have disabilities. Praying doors open for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_K Posted June 29, 2017 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 7 Topic Count: 51 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 220 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 215 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/04/2017 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 29, 2017 1to3 Thanks. I was married and living with my wife up until a year ago. Going back to my mom's is backtracking, but I don't have many financial options. The facility I'm in is going to intervene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angels4u Posted June 30, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 56 Topic Count: 1,664 Topics Per Day: 0.20 Content Count: 19,764 Content Per Day: 2.39 Reputation: 12,164 Days Won: 28 Joined: 08/22/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted June 30, 2017 God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way Oh, God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me And rivers in the desert will I see Heaven and Earth will fade but His Word will still remain And He will do something new today Oh, God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me And rivers in the desert will I see Heaven and Earth will fade but His Word will still remain And He will do something new today Oh, God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way Steve, God will make a way , put your trust in Him and He will take care of you,you're never alone ! You're His child and He cares for you ! Praying.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOONE7 Posted July 5, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 18 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 11,715 Content Per Day: 4.58 Reputation: 9,752 Days Won: 106 Joined: 04/29/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted July 5, 2017 Praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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