NO you DON'T understand!

[Annette]

On 9/17/2017 at 4:47 PM, ayin jade said:

A few years ago my brother in law was brutally murdered. I hung out in chat during that time, listening to music, crying, praying. Sometimes I spoke out in chat in my grief, not lashing out but just talknig about it. Folks said they understood. 

Not a single one of them had ever lost a loved one to murder. Not a single one of them could understand the extremes in emotions or feelings. 

Yet they recognized and understood that I was hurting. They understood the loss, the grief, that I was in pain. They understood. For me, that was enough. Their kind words to me during that time. Their prayers. All helped. 

A single person may not know what its like to be divorced but they DO recognize and understand loss. They understand pain. They can indeed understand what you are going through. They can feel compassion even with a lack of experience. Dont dismiss their kindness.

Loved that you shared this Ayin. Thank you  

[Annette]

On 9/18/2017 at 11:34 AM, TheAimes87 said:

I can sort of understand where you're coming from but I think we need to realize that the majority of folks who reply like this are genuinely just trying to let you know they care. I lost my mom (my only family) when I was 18 years old. I was still in high school and all of my close friends were of the same age. Almost all of them still had happy healthy mothers and fathers but when my mom passed away a large majority said things similar to "I understand" or "I know that has to hurt so bad". They didn't understand my exact pain, I'm of the persuasion that none of us really understand something unless you've walked the same road, but they could understand that it had to be very painful. It meant a lot to me to know they cared enough for me to even attempt to understand how painful it was, they cared enough to try to console me in whatever way they could and though their words couldn't take the grief away from my heart they did let me know that I had people who loved me. I really just think sometimes we have to see the intentions of their heart if that makes any sense. 

Thank you for sharing this Aimes87. Blessings  

[Annette]

On 9/17/2017 at 8:46 AM, Steve_K said:

A person gets divorced, a friend that has never been married says "I understand"

A grieving mourner at the funeral home has someone tell them "I understand"

A person with health problems hears from a healthy person "I understand"

Even Christians say this at times. No, we don't understand at all. 

Pray with the person, talk to them, encourage them with scripture, but don't claim to understand how or what they feel. when you don't.

From personal experience I can tell you it gets frustrating and even insulting.

Hey Steve, sounds like you got people thinking. Hope that you are doing well and adjusting to life since moving. Blessings  

[Benevolent]

On 9/17/2017 at 3:46 PM, Steve_K said:

A person gets divorced, a friend that has never been married says "I understand"

A grieving mourner at the funeral home has someone tell them "I understand"

A person with health problems hears from a healthy person "I understand"

Even Christians say this at times. No, we don't understand at all. 

Pray with the person, talk to them, encourage them with scripture, but don't claim to understand how or what they feel. when you don't.

From personal experience I can tell you it gets frustrating and even insulting.

True, we can not claim to understand or fully understand what we have not experienced personally. Prayer is the way to help and words of encouragement to those who need it.

[Equippers]

On 18/09/2017 at 1:46 AM, Steve_K said:

A person gets divorced, a friend that has never been married says "I understand"

A grieving mourner at the funeral home has someone tell them "I understand"

A person with health problems hears from a healthy person "I understand"

Even Christians say this at times. No, we don't understand at all. 

Pray with the person, talk to them, encourage them with scripture, but don't claim to understand how or what they feel. when you don't.

From personal experience I can tell you it gets frustrating and even insulting.

thank you for posting this Steve_K

it is definitely a good reminder for the rest of us

[OneLight]

On 9/17/2017 at 2:06 PM, Blueyedjewel said:

Ill go fetch the cheese to go with the whine-ing.

 

 

• Phil 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

Personal attack in general.  This has to stop.  Blueyedjewel is removed from this thread.